


A Different Kind of Normal

by CrimeShowFanatic



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy, Recovery, Romance, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-17 03:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4651281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimeShowFanatic/pseuds/CrimeShowFanatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate's sexually assaulted and finds herself traumatized and pregnant. Gibbs won't let her go through it all alone after all he has fallen for her. Kibbs. </p><p>*AU takes place sometime during early season 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Attacked

It was late in the night or rather very early in the morning. Kate had just arrived home and was exhausted. She changed into an oversized t-short from college and collapsed onto her bed. The past few weeks had been chaotic. First, Ari's return into her life and then it seemed to be murder season. They had three active cases that they were working on. She'd hardly been home, the only reason she'd come home tonight was because they'd just closed a case.

Kate threw the blanket over herself and began to drift off. Thump...thump...Kate's eyes flew opened, she reached underneath her pillow for her gun and jumped out of bed. Someone was in her apartment.

"Caitlin, there is no need for a gun." The all too familiar voice appeared before her. Ari.

"What the hell do you want?" Kate demanded spotting the gun in his hand.

"You know what I want, Caitlin. Lower the gun."

"No." Her heart was pounding and she launched herself at him, knocking them both onto the floor. She grabbed his weapon and held it against his chest. He didn't move for a few moments before grabbing her hand and forcing her to point the weapon at herself.

"I will not hesitate to shoot you. Just think of the pain it would cause Special Agent Gibbs if you were to die, because you refused to listen." His voice was laced with dark humor.

"What do you want?" She demanded once again.

"Lay on the bed." He told her. Kate didn't move until she felt the cold muzzle of the gun pressing against her throat.

He climbed on top of her and removed her shirt, the gun still pointing at her. Ari glanced over her body before removing the last piece of clothing she had covering her. Kate felt the muzzle press deeper into her skin as she attempted to fight him off. He grabbed her face and forced his lips onto hers. His knees pried her bare legs apart and he smirked at her, sensing the fear in her. Kate knew what was about to happen he was going to rape her and she cried out. He put his hand over her mouth as he roughly entered her most intimate part of her. She whimpered as he looked down on her with a sense of accomplishment. Her eyes began to water as she felt him in her.

"Gibbs will kill you." Kate regained her voice.

"Oh Caitlin, he has tried and he has failed. He will fail again." He smirked at her.

His body pressed hard against hers as he continued to violate her. He brushed his against her breast and pressed his lips against her neck. Kate closed her eyes praying that this was all a nightmare.

"Open your eyes. I want you to watch so you can tell Agent Gibbs all about it," He demanded, "The female body is quite beautiful especially yours, Caitlin." Ari groped her backside.

Kate opened her eyes and it wasn't a nightmare, he was on top of her raping her. A muffled cry escaped her lips and he laughed. He wasn't going to stop, he wanted her to suffer. He wanted Gibbs to suffer and she couldn't do anything to stop it. Kate gave up fighting hoping that he might leave her alone if she gave him more power over her. He took his time in watching her suffer.

He finally got off of her and put his pants on. Kate wasn't sure how much time had passed, she no longer could feel anything she was numb, frozen. She didn't even noticed him return her gun.

"Tell Gibbs I say hello and good luck. Goodbye again Caitlin." He turned his back and headed for the door.

Kate's body shook violently but somehow she was able to hold her gun. She pointed it at Ari her hands were shaking so bad, she knew she wouldn't be able,to get a kill shot. Every fiber was telling her to shoot him just shoot him. Her hands shook and she pulled the trigger.

BANG BANG

He hissed a bunch of words in another language, Hebrew Kate assumed. She'd shot his shoulder and grazed his neck. The terrorist's blood dripped onto her floor and she felt nothing. No satisfaction, no anger, no anything. Somehow in the second Kate had looked away he was gone.

She sat staring at the doorway numb. So many thoughts rushed through her head that she couldn't think of a single thing. Eventually she went on autopilot and picked up her phone and dialed 911, calmly and professionally explaining what had just happened. Then she waited.

Gibbs had gotten a call from dispatch, one he never expected to get. It wasn't a dead sailor or marine nor was it a terrorist attack or an abduction, but rather a rape. A rape of an NCIS agent. Dispatch didn't even need to tell him the name of the agent when he heard the address he knew. He knew it was Kate, his Kate.

He never followed speed limits and tonight was no different, he rushed to this crime scene as fast as he could without getting into an accident. He needed to be there for Kate and he needed to get there before the rest of his team though he had sent them to get the truck. He rushed into Kate's apartment building. There was blood on the floor and wall along with two bullet holes. Please don't let that be Kate's blood he thought. As he entered her bedroom, her personal space he saw her. A thick blanket from an ambulance covering her. Two EMTs stood next to her taking her vitals. She hadn't been shot. She'd shot the bastard. There was an imprint of a muzzle of a gun against her throat. Bruises were forming on her face and Gibbs could only guess as to where else bruises were.

"Hey Kate." He greeted her his tone soft and full of worry.

"Gibbs." Kate stared at the ground.

"Are you ready to go the hospital?" An EMT asked Kate and she nodded.

As Kate got into the ambulance Tony and McGee had showed up.

"BAG AND TAG EVERYTHING!" Gibbs ordered them before he climbed into the ambulance with Kate.

"You don't have to come." Kate told him.

"I know."

"Then why are you?"

"Because one of my agents was just attacked." And I care about you more than I should, he thought.

Kate didn't say a word and turned away from him.

"Kate," He put his hand on her shoulder and he knew it was a mistake the moment he did. She tensed up and turned around with a terrified look in her eyes, "Didn't mean 't frighten you."

Kate stayed silent she didn't speak a word when they got to the hospital. She didn't answer any questions with her voice only a nod or shake of her head.

She was embarrassed that Gibbs was seeing her like this, hurt and weak. She was a federal agent and a former member of the secret service and she'd let him get the upperhand...again.

"What happened, Kate? What should Tony and McGee look for?" Gibbs snapped her out of her thoughts.

"He...he raped me, Gibbs. He raped me." Her voice shook.

"Do you know the guy," She nodded, "Who?"

"It was him. The terrorist, Ari Haswari."

She saw Gibbs's look change from concerned to ready to kill. She should have fought harder, should've been more alert. This was her fault. He excused himself from the room. Kate looked down at the floor she had caused Gibbs pain, he probably hated her.

"Agent Todd, I'm Lieutenant Amy Parker" The nurse told her and she nodded, "We're ready to do the rape kit."

"Okay. Just get it over with." Kate told the nurse.

Gibbs returned to the room and sat down, "Put out an APB and BOLO. We'll get him, Kate."

Ari's words repeated in her head he tried and he failed he will fail again.

"Do you want him in the room during the exam?" The nurse asked.

"Yes." Kate quickly replied not wanting to be left alone.

"Before I start the exam I have to ask a few questions. Are you on any medications or have you taken any in the past ?"

"No."

"Any health conditions or allergies?"

"No."

"Are you sexually active?"

"Haven't been for over a year."

"So, no consensual intercourse in the past 72 hours?"

"No."

"Okay. Did you come in with any clothing?"

"No...he took them off during the...r- attack. They're still at my apartment."

"I'm going to comb through your hair to look for any evidence." The nurse told her.

"Kate, what happened?" Gibbs asked.

She closed her eyes and began to relay the events of the night, "I got home at 02:00, changed out of my work clothes, and went to bed. I drifted off so 02:30 I woke up because I heard footsteps. I grabbed my gun and then I saw him in the hall. He told me I didn't need my gun and I asked him what he wanted. He told me I knew what he wanted and to lower my gun, I refused," She stared down at the thin hospital blanket covering her and took a sharp intake of air, "I tackled him to the ground and got his gun. It happened so fast the next thing I knew he had me pointing the gun to my chest. He told me he would kill me and he wanted me to think of how much pain that would cause you, Gibbs if I was killed because I didn't listen. I asked him what he wanted and he told me to...lay on the bed." She paused how could she tell him how she was raped? All the details of Ari violating her. She couldn't do it.

"Agent Todd?" The nurse called out her name.

"Huh?" She asked.

"I'm going to comb through your pubic hair now for the same purpose. I'm going to need you to lift the blanket." Kate was told.

"I'll go-" Gibbs began to say when she grabbed his hand.

"NO! I mean please stay, Gibbs," She said weakly and Gibbs sat back down and moved the chair so he could only see the upper half of her, "Thank you."

"What happened after he told you to get on the bed?" He asked.

"I froze, Gibbs. I froze and he out the gun against my throat. I didn't want to move, but I did. I got on the bed and...and he got on top of me and took of my clothes. I fought, Gibbs I really did, but he pressed the gun harder against me. He kissed me a-and then," Tears filled her eyes with a few escaping down her cheek, "He forced my legs apart and he was in me, inside of me. I told him you'd kill him and he reminded me that we-you haven't caught him yet. He was smirking I wanted to be a nightmare so, I closed my eyes. Ari he kissed my neck and touched me. He made me open my eyes so, I could...tell you what he did to me. I don't know how long it was it seemed like forever. He told me to tell you hello and good luck and then he said goodbye to me. At some point he returned my gun. My hands were shaking too bad to get a kill shot so, I took what I had. Got him in the shoulder and grazed his neck. He still got away."

Gibbs was surprised how composed Kate still was. Yes, tears were streaming down her face and she wouldn't look at him, but she wasn't letting any emotions show. It pained him to hear her tell him how Ari wanted her to pass along those messages. Kate was hurt and it was his fault. He hated how she was justifying herself to him by telling him she really did try to fight. He watched as she stared off into space as the nurse scrapped and cut her fingernails. She looked so vulnerable it broke his heart to see her like that.

Another woman entered the room and Kate barely looked up.

"Did he penetrate you anywhere else," The nurse asked her and she shook her head, "Do you know if he used a condom?"

"Did he use," Kate repeated remembering the attack. He hadn't used a condom he had ejaculated in her. She couldn't feel anything, "He..in me...oh my god...he was in me...no." She muttered.

"Kate?" He asked worried as she began to hyperventilate.

"She's having a panic attack," The nurse told Gibbs, "Agent Todd, breathe. You're alright. Take some deep breathes."

Kate couldn't see anyone but Ari on top of her, raping her. She could hear Gibbs's worried voice and someone telling her to breathe. She took some deep breathes and she slowly came back to reality. She glanced around a little disoriented. Gibbs was looking at her and she could tell he'd been scared, but he looked relieved now.

The woman, not the nurse gave her a cup of water. She sipped at the cup of water taking her time as he heartbeat returned to normal.

"Better?" The same woman asked.

Kate nodded, "Yes."

"And you are?" Gibbs asked.

"Jane, crisis counselor and advocate." The woman introduced herself.

"Do you want to continue?" The nurse asked Kate.

"Yes." Kate wanted the bastard to be put away for a long time.

"I'm going to preform a pelvic exam and take some swabs."

"Kate, I'm gonna call Abby in now. Have her bring you some clothes." Gibbs told her.

"Okay."

"It'll be alright." Gibbs kissed her temple and left the room leaving Kate shocked at the affection he had just shown her.

"Boyfriend?" The woman, Jane asked her.

"He's my boss."

Kate kind of wished he hadn't left, but she did want to be alone. She never liked pelvic exams and this one was definitely going to be the worse.

Gibbs didn't want to leave Kate alone after she had just been raped, but he had to. He needed to give her some space and he did need to call Abby. How was he going to tell Abby that her best friend had been attacked?

"Got some new evidence for me, Gibbs?" Abby answered.

"No. Need you to get Kate some clothes and meet me at Bethesda." Gibbs told her.

"Like a t-shirt and jeans or a complete set of clothes?"

"Complete. Abs, Kate was hurt."

"What?! Is she okay?! What happened? Is everyone else okay?"

"Everyone else is fine. I think Kate would prefer that I let her tell you. She needs ya, Abby."

"Okay I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Gibbs hung up and waited for Abby. How could this happen to Kate? She didn't deserve this. He shouldn't have let her go home, he should've insisted that they keep working on their cases. He should have let her go home sooner then maybe she would've been stronger, able to fight off the bastard. Kate should hate him, but she didn't. She had let him stay with her. She looked so broken there was pain in her beautiful brown eyes.

"GIBBS! Where is she? Is she OKAY?" Abby ran towards him demanding answers.

He motioned for Abby to follow him. He lead her to the room Kate was in. Yhe curtain was drawn so, he and Abby waited in silence. He watched as Abby paced back and forth impatiently. Eventually the nurse came out.

"Go on in. She's waiting for you." Gibbs was told.

Gibbs and Abby entered the room and behind the curtain was Kate. She looked so much more tired than when he had left her.

"Kate?" Abby asked.

"Abby." Kate looked up at her friend.

"What happened?"

"Gibbs didn't tell you?"

"No, he said you'd want to tell me yourself."

"Ari happened. Forced himself on me." She couldn't bear to look Abby in the eyes.

"Oh my god. Are you okay? Of course you're not okay." Abby hugged her tightly and she began crying on her friend.


	2. Afterwards

"Come on Kate, let's get you home-" It was then that Gibbs remembered Kate's house was a crime scene.

"I don't have a place to stay, Gibbs. I could drive up to Indiana and stay with my parents just until my apartment is no longer a crime scene." Kate didn't really want to go home to her parents. They'd worry more than usual about her and her job.

"You'll stay with me." He told her.

"Gibbs, no."

"Your house is a crime scene and your family lives hours away so, where do you plan on staying?"

"A hotel will suffice."

"No."

"Gibbs, I'm not invading your personal space."

"It's not invading if I'm inviting you." He gave her an end of discussion glare.

Kate gave up arguing with him, "Fine!"

"Um...what do you need from your apartment?"

She thought for a moment. What did she need? She needed her clothes, but she didn't want anything to do with what was in her apartment. Everything there had been violated just like her, but she needed stuff.

"Just clothes I guess and my PDA."

"I'll get Abby to go get that for you." Kate nodded as a response.

The ride to his place was silent. Kate usually had something to say, but not today. Today she stared out the window. When they arrived a suitcase full of Kate's stuff was laying in the living room.

"I've got it." Gibbs said as Kate began to reach for it. He lead her to the rarely used guest room, "Um...make yourself at home. Bathroom's a door to the right."

"Thanks." Kate whispered.

"I should probably get to the office unless you want me to...uh stay."

"I'm fine, Gibbs, go."

Gibbs nodded and left Kate to unpack.

Kate waited for Gibbs to leave when she finally heard the engine start she allowed herself to cry. She clutched a pillow close to her chest as sobs shook her body. Why her? Why didn't she try harder to fight him off?

This is all your fault, Kate. You should've stabbed him when you had the chance. You're weak, you let this happen.

When her sobs subsided she looked through the suitcase for a change of clothes and shampoo. Abby had done a good job packing the stuff she needed. Kate stripped down and dared to look in mirror. There were big ugly bruises covering most of her. How the hell didn't she notice them earlier?

Kate turned the water on and got in. She adjusted the water to be as hot as it would go, but it still wasn't hot enough. The scalding water felt nice her skin getting all of him off of her. She scrubbed her skin so hard that it hurt and her skin was turning redder than it already was from the water. She could still feel him on her, it didn't matter how much she tried scrubbing him off her. He had to get off of her, she felt so dirty. She grabbed the razor and pressed it against her leg, getting rid of every hair that he had touched. By the time she had finished shaving, the water was cold but she didn't notice.

"Where are we on witnesses?" Gibbs demanded to know.

"Neighbors heard the gunshots when Kate shot him. Um a Ms. Miller lives directly below Kate said she heard some crashes and about an hour later she heard the shots. No one actually saw anything." Tony tells him.

"Nothing is back on the APB." McGee adds.

"So we have nothing. Go canvass again. I want to find someone who saw him in the area!" Gibbs ordered.

He was going to get this S.O.B if it was the last thing he did. Kate had coped with being kidnapped by Haswari twice, but now he wasn't so sure how Kate was going to be able to cope with being raped.

"Got anything for me?" Gibbs asked Abby as he silently entered the lab.

"How's Kate? Is she okay?"

"She's alright considering."

"That animal really did a number on her, but she fought hard. I processed the rape kit. I found blood and skin cells beneath her fingernails that aren't hers. Kate has plenty of defensive wounds but you already knew that. He didn't wear a condom so, I got DNA which is a match to no other than our favorite terrorist, Ari Haswari."

"We know that. What about the blood trail?"

"Judging from the amount of blood he'd definitely need medical attention, but his injuries according to Kate wouldn't be life threatening. The bullets went through and through."

"Probably stitched himself up. I'll get Tony and McGee to check local ER's."

Gibbs went over to the morgue to check up on their others cases.

"Jethro, is it true Caitlin was attacked? Abby was down here and she's quite worried." Ducky asked.

"Haswari raped her." Anger present in his voice.

"How is she doing? She is staying with you if Abby is correct?"

"Don't know. Hasn't said much, says she's fine."

"It's probable that she's in shock and has not yet come to realize what has happened. She may still be processing everything. There are five states of grieving denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Keep that in mind."

...

"How did no one see him? He raped Kate! He raped her in the middle of the night, Probie and no one goes to see what the gunshots were for? Have you seen the pictures of her? Kate's black and blue," Tony exclaimed pointing to the monitor where Kate's NCIS ID photo was along with the pictures taken at the hospital, "Why is he so fixated on her? Look at her! She's basically a smurf with all those bruises!"

"Because I'm a woman who works with Gibbs." Tony turned around to find Kate standing there staring at the screen with photos of her bruised body.

"Hey Kate. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

Gibbs approached Kate, "What are you doing here? You should be resting and it's nearly midnight."

"I couldn't sleep, kept seeing him," Kate whispered embarrassed, "I just need to work. I'll be fine."

"It's been a long day for you. Do you really think this is a good idea? Marrow said to take-"

"I'm fine. I need to work. I want to work. Face it, we need the manpower."

"Fine but don't over do it or I'm sending you home."

"Fine." Kate turned around and plopped down into her seat. It felt nice to sit down her whole body ached especially between her legs. The pain was bearable, but she wanted to scream.

Thoughts of him began invading her mind so, she quickly opened up the files on the Lieutenant Casper murder, stabbed in the back literally. Though she was the junior agent, she had the lead on this case due to the many open cases they had. Stabbed in the back around the side of his house.

Her mind flashed back to her in autopsy holding a scalpel, prepared to stab Ari. She had every intention of killing him, but she couldn't and now it was too late.

Gibbs was keeping a close eye on Kate. She appeared to be working, but every few minutes he'd notice her stare at her computer.

"Any leads?" He asked her.

"Uh...no. I think we should interview neighbor again, keep the pressure on her. She knows something about the murder."

"Nice work. Get some sleep, Kate."

"I'm fine, Gibbs."

He gave her a loom of disbelief, "Kate..."

"I'm fine." Kate insisted.

She was exhausted but she didn't want to sleep. She was fine well that's what she kept telling herself. She was fighting sleep, her eyelids were heavy. Eventually she gave in and wrapped her sweater around herself and laid on the floor behind her desk.

"Boss, we got a witness who saw someone matching Haswari's description leaving the neighborhood. Car was a black sudan license plate H38G, bad news is plates were reported stolen a few hours before the..um...attack. BOLO's out on the car." Tony told Gibbs.

"Where are we on his whereabouts?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"He isn't leaving much of a trace. A few glances of him from a security camera here and there. Nothing definitive." McGee told him.

"Keep looking. I want this bastard in here yesterday!" Gibbs growled.

Gibbs walked into the bullpen and Kate wasn't there. His heart started racing, she shouldn't be alone. Then he heard a soft cry coming from Kate's desk and that's when he saw her. Kate was asleep on the ground whimpering.

"Kate," He whispered, "Kate. Wake up. Kate," He put his hand on her shoulder and she bolted up panicked, "You're alright, Kate. 'S alright."

Kate looked around panicked for a minute before realizing she was at her desk. She was so embarassed when she saw Gibbs squatting in front of her. Her boss had just seen her having a nightmare about the damn terrorist. She rushed off to the bathrom without saying a word. As she looked in the mirror she was startled at her own appearance. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and the cuts and bruises seemed to look even worse. She splashed water on her face, hoping to wake up from this nightmare but she didn't. She dropped to her knees and began to sob. It wasn't a nightmare it was all real. She'd been raped and it was all her fault. She couldn't go to the comforts of her own home, because it was a crime scene.

"Kate, you alright?" Gibbs asked.

Kate covered her face, "Gibbs, this is the ladies room."

"So? You're the only one here."

"I'm fine."

"No, Kate, you're not fine. Come on I'm taking you back to my place."

He helped her up off the ground. It was a silent car ride usually Kate had something to say, but today she was silent. It was like she wasn't even there.


	3. Immediate aftermath

A blood curling scream distracted Gibbs from his boat. He instantly ran to the guest room where the scream had come from. Kate was thrashing on the bed crying.

"No...please...stop. NO!" Kate screamed.

"Kate, wake up," Gibbs placed his hand on her shoulder resulting in her slugging him, "Kate! Kate, wake up."

She slowly opened her terror filled eyes, looking around frantically. Once, she had realized where she was sobs escaped her lips. She was hugging her knees against her chest.

"It's okay, Kate. You're okay." He attempted to comfort her.

"He's on me. He- he's on me." She cried.

Gibbs didn't know what to do. He knew how to comfort family members who had lost a loved one or help a service member who'd lost a limb, but comforting someone who had just been brutally raped- he had no idea what to do and it pained him.

"He's not here, Kate...it was a nightmare."

Kate finally was able to speak clearly, "It wasn't a nightmare. He was on me."

Kate felt disgusting she was all sweaty and she could still feel the bastard inside of her. That feeling of him inside of her, raping her was still there.

"Uhh you wanna take a shower or somethin'?" Gibbs asked her.

"Please." Her voice was weak.

The warm water pounded on her bruised flesh, but she didn't notice. All she wanted was to get him off of her. She scrubbed her skin raw and she could still feel him violating her. What did she do to deserve this? Kate slouched down against the cold shower wall until she was clutching her knees to her chest sobbing, begging God to get rid of the pain.

"Kate? You alright?" She heard Gibbs call out.

She was so damn weak, she couldn't even keep herself together in front of her boss. He must have realized he made a mistake when he hired her.

"Kate?"

Gibbs could hear faint sobs through the noise of the running water. He knocked on the door there was no response only her cries.

"I'm coming in." He was worried about her.

He slowly opened the door to find the woman he secretly loved, pained and sobbing not even noticing the water hitting her. A gasp escaped from him as he saw the true extent of her injuries. There were black and blue marks of where the bastard had laid his hand on her. He grabbed a towel and turned away as he handed it to her. Kate weakly took the towel from him, she barely had any strength left to stand up. Gibbs left allowing her to get dressed in private.

"You alright?" He asked her as she emerged fully dressed from the bathroom.

She nodded weakly, her face blotched with evidence of tears.

"Go back to bed. You need some sleep."

"I'm fine. Not tired." She tried to lie.

"Kate, get some rest. You look...exhausted."

Gibbs was right and she didn't have any energy left in her to argue with him. As tired as she was, she didn't want to go back to sleep. She didn't want to see his face again.

She laid down on the bed fighting her eyelids.

"'s alright, Kate. Sleep." Gibbs whispered to her.

"Stay...please." Kate sleepily pleaded with him before peaceful darkness took over.

Gibbs laid down next to Kate, careful not to get too close to her. He knew Kate probably wouldn't remember begging him to stay, but he couldn't just leave her alone after seeing her have such a rough night. He watched her as she slept she appeared to be content yet, pained at the same time.

A few hours later, whimpers woke him up. It was Kate crying and whimpering in her sleep, he unconsciously wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"It's okay. I've got ya." He whispered highly doubting that she'd heard him or even if she did she wouldn't remember.

Almost instantly her cries subsided and she inched closer to him in her sleep. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her temple.

"Gonna be okay. I'm not gonna let you do this alone."

The early morning rays of sunlight assisted in waking Kate. The very first thing she noticed was someone's arm wrapped around her, panicked she began to push it off her, and then she saw who it was.

"Gibbs?!" She felt a whole slew of emotions.

She was quite comforted by the fact that he had stayed with her for the rest of the night. For a mere second she thought that maybe he might like her back, but that feeling vanished as weakness and shame surfaced. She had to have been weak to beg her boss to stay with her as she slept. Who does that?

"Shit," Gibbs cursed seeing Kate's startled expression, "Didn't mean to fall asleep. Don't know if you remember, but ya wanted me to stay."

"I...It's fine." Her cheeks turned pink as she stuttered over her words.

"You feeling better?"

She shrugged, "I guess."

"Do you uhh want something to eat? Coffee?"

"Not hungry, but thanks."

"Coffee it is. Milk and sugar, I know." Gibbs clearly had no intention on letting her go the day without eating.

Gibbs left the guest room leaving Kate alone. She didn't want to be alone it frightened her. "What if" questions filled her mind- what if Ari came back to finished what he started with her? What if he was just waiting for her to be alone? As embarrassing as it was for her to admit it to herself, she felt a great deal of security when she was with Gibbs. She knew he would never let anything happen to her.

The smell of coffee encouraged her to go downstairs to the kitchen. Gibbs handed her a cup of coffee as she entered. She took a small sip and sat at the table silently. She sipped at her coffee as she thought about work and the terrorist.

Gibbs saved her from her soon to be destructive thoughts, "Have you...does your family know what happened?"

"No."

"Don't ya think they'd want to be here for you? This...it isn't easy to go through, Kate. You need support and you've got me and the rest of the team, but Kate, I think ya need your family."

"They don't need to know about any of this! That would just worry my mother more. She already tells me she's always worrying about me being an agent. My parents, my siblings, they don't need to know about how I let myself get attacked! Hell, if I wasn't an agent, NO ONE and I mean NO ONE would know about this. I don't need this and I don't need to be reminded of it anymore." Kate hissed angrily.

"Kate, it's not your fault. Everyone knows that."

"Maybe it's not 100% my fault, but I was the one who couldn't kill him. Remember? I could have stabbed him, but no there was something 'kind' about his damn eyes!" Tears spilled from her eyes.

"You're only human. It's hard to take someone's life. It's s one of the hardest parts about this job. We all make mistakes, Kate. It isn't your fault that he's an evil bastard," Gibbs handed her her phone that was laying on the table, "Give your parents a call, Kate. Even if it's just to say hi." He left the room, giving her some privacy.

Kate reluctantly powered the phone on and punched in the numbers to the place she had called home for so many years. Her heart rate increased as it began to ring.

"Hello?" Her mother's voice chirped.

"Momma?" Kate's voice shook.

"Kate? What's wrong, baby?" Her mother instantly knew something was wrong.

"Something...happened, mom."

"What? Are you okay?"

"I-I came home from work real early in the morning on Tuesday and I fell right asleep, but I woke up because someone was in my place," She paused before continuing on, "It was someone we've been trying to send away... Mom, I promise I tried to fight him, b-but he got the gun. Momma, h-h-he forced me." Her voice broke and she could've sworn she heard her mother gasp.

"Tuesday? That was three days ago. Oh my god, Kate. You just wait I'll be there right away."

"I don't have an apartment for you to stay in. It's a crime scene. I'm just staying with Gibbs and-"

"Caitlin Rose Todd, don't you dare worry about anything silly like that. I can stay in a hotel and don't you dare protest. You rest and take care of yourself until I get there. Okay?" Her mother wasn't leaving anything up for debate.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Okay. I love you, sweetie."

"Love you too, mom...bye."

"I'll see you soon baby girl."

As soon as the call disconnected, she covered her face with her hands as tears began to run down her face.


	4. Realization

"Miss us, Kate?" Tony asked Kate as she walked on over to her desk.

"No." A Simple single syllable reply.

"Visiting Gibbs? Abby?"

"Working."

"I thought you decided to take a couple days off."

"I did."

"Like two, Kate."

"A couple is two. Hence, a couple is made up of two people. Any new cases?"

"Nope. We've got one case and it's yours. Can you even work your own...case?"

"What do we have on my case?"

"Everything but Haswari so, the Boss isn't really in a great mood-," Both Agents winced as Gibbs's hand met the back of Tony's head, "Morning, boss."

"Kate, are you ready to be back? It's only been-." Gibbs asked her.

"I'm fine."

"No one's gonna think less if you take some more time."

"Like I said, I'm fine, Gibbs."

Gibbs realized that Kate wasn't going to take any more time off unless it was an order and he didn't want to do that. Kate could be stubborn but she knows when to stop.

He could tell that Kate wasn't fine. No one would be fine after going through what she did. He was pretty sure that she had barely slept. There were dark circles covered up by make up under her eyes. He'd heard her pacing late into the night as he had worked on the boat.

"Where's McGee?" Gibbs asked or rather demanded to know.

"McGeek went to the lab. Said he was going to try and do some computer thing to find," Tony glanced at Kate, "Haswari."

"I would think that he's probably still in the country and I bet he has the F.B.I protecting him otherwise. He wants to stay close enough to watch us try and find him and to watch you suffer. He has a vendetta against you. You probably remind him of someone, maybe his father who hurt him. He's getting payback at whomever hurt him by making you, someone who represents this person in some way suffer." Kate told them, remembering how as she was being raped he had told her that NCIS hadn't and wouldn't catch him.

"DiNozzo, go get McGee, update him."

"On it, boss."

Gibbs motioned for Kate to follow him when his phone rang. Kate stood still waiting for further instructions.

"Dead marine. Go get DiNozzo and McGee." Gibbs ordered her.

Kate reluctantly headed to the lab where Abby would of course be. She loved Abby but she really didn't want to bombarded with questions and concern over her wellbeing. As she stepped out of the elevator, she heard the blaring music coming from the lab.

"Tony! McGee!" Kate yelled as she entered the noisy lab and got no response.

Kate went over to the stereo and turned down the music which got everyone looking at her, "Dead marine. Let's go!"

Tony and McGee jumped out of their seats and headed to the elevator. Kate began to follow after them, but just as she had guessed Abby stopped her.

"How are you doing? It's only been a few days, Kate and you're back at work?"

"Abs, I'm fine. Working is good for me. Keeps my mind off it."

"Gibbs treating you well?"

"Of course. Overly concerned at times, but leaves me to be for the most part."

"Yeah, he cares about you, Kate. A lot."

"Cares about you too."

Abby raised an eyebrow, "In a different way. Kate, I'm saying you like Gibbs and he's totally head-over-heels for you."

"Abby, stop."

"Kate, I'm not joking. Go see for yourself."

"Okay. I'll see you later." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Bring me back some goodies!" Abby shouted as Kate headed towards the elevator.

Kate never had a problem before being so cramped in inside the truck, but today she couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand each time Tony would accidentally bump into her. She didn't want anyone touching her. Gibbs was already driving over the speed limit, which she normally hated however right now she just wanted to get to the damn crime scene and get out of the truck.

Her heart was racing. Breathe, Kate. Just breathe. Maybe she should have taken some more time off.

Gibbs glanced over at Kate and Tony who were being unusually quiet. Kate was pressed up against the door and breathing quick. Her eyes were shut even though she was awake, unlike the senior field agent between them.

"Deep breathes, Kate." Gibbs whispered as to not wake DiNozzo and not to embarrass her.

Her eyes shot open and she turned her head away from him embarassed that he'd seen her so...uncomfortable.

The moment Gibbs put the truck into park she jumped out followed by Tony. She leaned against the side of the truck, hands on her knees trying to breathe normally.

"Need a minute," Kate jumped, "Didn't mean to scare ya." Gibbs's way of apologizing.

"No, I'm good."

"Don't look too good. No one's gonna think any different if you sit this one out."

"I'm fine."

"Fine. Bag and tag," Kate turned away, "and Kate when you're ready to admit you're not fine I'll be here." Gibbs could have sworn in that moment he had seen a tiny glimmer of hope in her pained eyes.

He watched as she went to work, bagging evidence. She avoided eye contact as best she could. Why did this happen to her? Why Kate? She didn't deserve this pain. How could terrorists walk free while Kate, an innocent woman was condemned to pain? Sometimes he hated this world.

Kate avoided conversations with the rest of the team, she gave short answers and was straight to the point. She could feel everyone's eyes on her.

"Caitlin, could you see what's taking Mr. Palmer so long? I'd like to get this young lad out of here."

"Special agent Caitlin Todd...Hello Caitlin...Miss me, Caitlin?" Ari's voice echoed in her mind. Oh how she hated her name more than she ever had.

"Caitlin?" Ducky called out to her.

"Of course." Kate rushed out of the room.

"Jethro, she should take some more time off."

"She won't take it, Duck. Stubborn as hell."

"Has she spoken to anyone? The trauma that follows a sexual assault is not easy to go through especially alone. Caitlin is going to need a lot of help, Jethro."

"She just has to ask." Gibbs replied glancing around the room to see if Kate had returned.

"Ah and does she know this? It's important that she knows that there are people who want to help her. You know, she may just want a friend right now not necessarily a therapist."

"Thanks Duck."

"What've we got?" Gibbs wanted to know as he entered the bullpen.

"Lieutenant j.g Thomas Gillbert, 25. Enlisted right out of high school and has been on the fast track ever since." Tony informed them.

"He doesn't have a criminal record. Not even a speeding ticket." McGee said.

"Girlfriend couldn't think of anyone who'd want him dead. Hard core patriot living the American Dream." Kate added.

"Bank statements? Calls?"

"Going through them right now." McGee told their boss.

"Forensics?"

"Shot with," Kate paused she felt dizzy, "He was shot three times with his..."

"Kate, you feeling alright?"

"Yea, I just need...to sit down."

Kate walked slowly as her whole world was spinning and her head pounding and then nothing.

"KATE," Gibbs yelled as she fell backwards, rushing to her side, "Kate? Can you hear me. Dammit someone call an ambulance!"

"On it." Tony replied.

"Come on Kate open your eyes. You're gonna be fine."

"What happened?" An EMT asked.

"She just passed out. She was looking a little pale."

"She's got a lot of bruises. Where are they from?"

"Rape. She was raped five days ago."

"Could be physical trauma from that." The EMT whispered to his partner as they loaded her on the stretcher."

"Stay here. Find out who wanted the Lt. dead." Gibbs ordered the two agents watching anxiously.

"You're gonna be fine, Kate." Gibbs squeezed her hand.

Gibbs couldn't stand just sitting around waiting for someone to tell him what was wrong with Kate.

"Mr. Gibbs?"

"Yeah?" News finally.

"Your wife is fine but her blood sugar was dangerously low and she was dehydrated not to mention exhausted. We're giving her fluids right now."

"Can I see her?" Kate was going to kill him if she found out that the doctors thought he was her husband.

"Of course. She's sleeping right now. Now, I realize that just a few days ago she went through great trauma, but she's got to take care of herself. She has to eat and rest." Gibbs nodded.

Gibbs sat at her bedside waiting for her to wake up. Why hadn't he noticed just how bad she was doing? Hell she was living with him.

"Sorry, Kate."

Kate faintly heard Gibbs apologizing for something, which was a violation of his own rules. What had happened? She felt cold.

Her eyelids began fluttering and finally opening. She looked around confused, scared and then her eyes met his.

"What happened?" Kate asked. She was in the squad room going over the case what happened to end her up in the hospital?

"You passed out. Scared us all."

"I passed out?"

"Kate, when was the last time you ate something like an actual meal?"

"Ate? Um...Monday? I think..."

"You haven't eaten since Monday?" Gibbs asked shocked.

"What's today?"

"Saturday."

"No. It can't be. You mean...," She covered her face with her hands, "He raped me. Oh my god. It wasn't a nightmare was it? He raped me. Oh my god."

Any denial about the rape that she had was now gone. Gibbs saw the look in her eyes as she said it aloud. It was becoming all too real for her.

He raped you. He raped you, Kate. That one phrase repeated in her mind. She felt nauseous it really had happened. He forced himself on her, he had touched her. Why her? What did she do to deserve this?

"You need to eat something. You'll feel better."

"Alright..."

"What do you want?"

"Doesn't matter."

"I'll be back."

Gibbs didn't want to leave her but he wanted to give her some space and she did need to eat. How could he have not realized how bad she was doing? He knew she wasn't sleeping, why didn't he confront her? It didn't matter now, only now he had to make sure nothing else happened to her. He headed back to the room with a sandwich for her and as he did so he could've sworn he saw Kate. He turned around and then he realized why he thought it was her.

"Excuse me, ma'm?"

"Yes?"

"You wouldn't happen to be Kate- Agent Todd's mother would you?" Gibbs asked and the woman's eyes light up with realization.

"You must be Special Agent Gibbs. How did you...? Theresa Todd nice to meet you though I really wish it were under different circumstances."

"Likewise."

"How's my baby girl? Is she alright?"

"She's fine. Follow me. I'll take ya to her."

Before he had entered the room, Kate had recognized the footsteps as his. She really didn't feel up to the talk she was gonna get from her boss.

"Oh Kate, baby! How are you feeling?" It was her mother.

"I'm fine momma."

"You're in the hospital and that doesn't happen easily." Her mother retorted.

"Momma, I'm fine. Really."

"She keeps saying that." Gibbs chimed in and she glared.

"She's stubborn as hell. One time...oh she was five or six years old and she was riding her horse in the yard and the horse stumbled and she fell off. Everyone went rushin' to her side and she just stood up and said 'I'm fine, momma. See?' and she climbed back on that dang horse. Anyhow, a week later she was eatin and I looked at her arm and it was kind of purple so I asked her if it hurt and she told me 'Kinda mom. Only since I fell off Prince, but it's okay.' Well, I took her to the hospital and the girl had fractured her arm in two places. The next day one of her brothers comes in the house and says 'Mom, little Katie is gonna be in trouble.' I asked him why and he pointed outside and there was Kate with one arm in a cast on her horse. When I asked her what the hell she was doing she looked at me very seriously and said 'I'm learnin' how to ride Prince with one arm.'" Her mother laughed and Gibbs chuckled.

"Momma! This isn't story time." Kate groaned.

"You're right it's time to talk. Kate, why on earth haven't you eaten?"

"Haven't been hungry."

"And why are you back at work? You need time. Don't rush things."

Her mother wasn't going to back down and Gibbs had been telling her the same things. This was one argument she wasn't going to win.

"Miss Todd, we have some discharge papers for you to sign and then you're free to go." A nurse told her.

"Okay. Thanks," Kate looked at her mother and Gibbs, "Umm I need to change."

"Oh of course. I'll go get the car. Agent Gibbs, will you need a ride?" Mrs. Todd asked.

"No, no. I'll take the bus."

"No you won't. I'll drive."

"If you insist, ma'm."

Gibbs and Kate's mom walked out of the E.R. Room giving Kate privacy.

"I see all the bruises on my baby. How-how bad was she hurt...physically?" Mrs. Todd asked.

"She's had worse. Cuts and a lot of bruises. A couple stitches."

"And mentally?"

Gibbs sighed, "As you saw, she's not doing well."

"She's too stubborn to ask for help. She's scared. Agent Gibbs, don't let her shut you out. She trusts you."

"I'm not gonna let her do this on her own."

"Thank you."


	5. It's my secret

"Morning." Gibbs greeted Kate.

"Good morning." She replied.

"Made breakfast." He set a plate of eggs on the table.

"I'm not-"

"You're eating it. I don't want you passing out again."  
  
"Fine." She grumbled.

"Good."

"So how long are you placing on me house arrest." Kate asked seriously.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "You can come back to work once you start taking care of yourself. Kate, you're not 100%. You need to be 100%. You're exhausted. Tired agents make mistakes. Tired agents get killed. This is for your own good."

She'd never be the same, not the same person she had been a week ago. He had stolen something from her. He had damaged her. She'd never be 100% again.

"You'll have my letter or resignation by the end of the week." She replied angrily not necessarily angry at Gibbs, but rather herself.

Gibbs's head snapped up, "What?"

"I'll start working on my letter of resignation today. You don't want me back until I'm 100% but we both know that's never going to happen," Her eyes began watering and she quickly turned away from him, "Thanks for breakfast."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"Gibbs, you need agents you can trust not ones that are broken. Not an agent who got herself...raped."

"Kate....It's not your fault. He had a gun on you and even if he didn't it still wouldn't be your fault."

"Sure...." She didn't believe him. This was her fault nothing anyone said would change that. She made this mess and now she had to live with the consequences of her lack of actions- not killing him when she had the chance.

There was a knock on the door and Kate sighed. It had to be her mother because everyone else knocks and walks right in. Gibbs got up to answer the door.  
“Good morning.” Tessa greeted them.

“Morning, mom.” Kate replied as she poked her food around.

“Caitlin, eat your food don't play with it.” Her mother scolded.

“Caitlin.”

"Open your eyes. I want you to watch so you can tell Agent Gibbs all about it," He demanded, "The female body is quite beautiful especially yours, Caitlin." Ari groped her backside.  
Her eyes opened and he was still on top of her, brutalizing her. She struggled and he pressed the gun deeper into her skin.

“Goodbye again Caitlin.”

“Kate? You're okay. You're safe, Kate.” She faintly heard her name being called.

“Breathe, sweetie. It's okay.”

She tried to breathe but it felt like someone was sitting on her chest. Breathe, Kate, breathe. She slowly forced her eyes opened and found her mom looking at her worried and Gibbs kneeling next to her..

“Hey. You're alright. It was a flashback.” Gibbs reached out for her shoulder but after a second he pulled his hand back.

“Oh baby, it's gonna be okay.” Tessa embraced her daughter.

Tears continued streaming down her face, “Momma, it was so horrible. H-he had a gun. He was on me. I-it hurt s-so b-bad.” She buried her head in her mother’s shoulder crying.

“Everything's going to be okay. I’m here now.”

Gibbs watched as Kate sobbed and her mother comforted her. It pained him to see her in so much pain yet, he was glad she had her mom here.

"She's cried herself to sleep. Could you help me move her? She's not exactly a 5-year-old anymore.” Tessa whispered to Gibbs.  
  
“Yeah…at least she's sleeping.”

Gibbs gently picked her up, careful not to wake or startle her. She was so light that he guessed she probably didn't way more than 115 pounds soaking wet, yet she could take down a man twice her size; that was probably why she blamed herself for the rape he realized. On the job she could take down pretty much any suspect with little to no help, but she wasn't able to fight off that bastard. How the hell was he ever going to be able to convince her that it wasn't her fault?  
He placed her on the couch and covered her up with a blanket. Kate was out cold she didn't stir one bit.

“What am I supposed to do? I scared her and I don't know what I said or did?” Kate's mother asked as she eyed her sleeping daughter.

“Honestly, I don't know. Wait for her I guess. When she's-,” Gibbs was caught off by the ringing of his phone, “Excuse me.”

It was Tony, “Gibbs.” He answered.

“Boss, we might have a lead on Haswari.”  
  
“You might have a lead? Do you have a lead or not?” He demanded to know. If this wasn't a lead then, he wasn't wasting his time hunting down a ghost when he could be with Kate.

“Yes, we have a lead. Local LEOs saw our BOLO and told us they got a call from an urgent care center reporting a robbery. Suspect stole morphine and uhh well the point is they stole everything you'd need to treat a bullet wound. Files are on their way. McGee and I are going to interview the staff, show Haswari’s picture.”

“I’ll be there in 10,” Gibbs hung up the phone and grabbed his keys and gun before remembering he had guests, “We've got a lead….”

“Just get him will you? He hurt my baby.”

  
Kate rolled onto her side and her eyes blinked open. She wasn't in the bed she was on the couch? She looked around the room and found that it was empty. Gibbs must have left for work it wasn't like he was going to stick around.

“You're up. How are you feeling?” Her mom asked.

“I’m fine. What time is it?”

“10:30. You were exhausted.”

“I’m a wreck….” Kate muttered to herself.

“Just a bit. It's understandable though. What you went through…it’s something no one should have to go through.”

“Mom, I don't want to talk about it.”

“Okay sooner or later you are going to have to talk about it though. Alright I've been here four days and I haven't seen anything other than the hospital and the hotel. Get up, you're giving your mother a tour.”

“Alright give me 10 minutes.”

Kate showed her mother around the Capital and occasionally adding in a story from her time in the Secret Service that she'd never been allowed to talk about before as well as some NCIS stories.

“You'd be amazed at the amount of bodies that are discovered here,” Kate said as they walked through Shenandoah State Park, “Specifically Sailors and Marines. It's a decent spot to dump a body. Good hiding places and no one is really going to notice if the ground’s been dug up. Dumping a body can be an indicator that either the killer planned the murder out or he panicked.”

“That's good to know…. Remind me again why you enjoy this type of work.” Her mother shook her head.

“How is everyone back home?”

“They're all good. Oh little Stephanie and Caleb wanted to come with me. Steph begged me to take her with. The girl was practically in tears. They miss their aunt Kate.”

“Aww. Maybe I should give them a call.”

“I think they'd like that.”

“Do they know?”

“Only your dad and Jason. I had to tell your dad and Jason wanted to know why his kids thought I was coming to see you. Jason promised he wouldn't tell Rachel, Michael, or Seth. You and Jason have always been close. He's worried about you.”

“Jay worries too much. It's the doctor in him.”  
  
“He's always worried about his baby sister.”

“You really should talk to your brothers and Rach.”

“Okay but I'm not telling them.”

“Always so stubborn.”

“There's no reason for them to know.”

Gibbs was furious and frustrated. They'd spent a day tracking down leads from the robbery and all they'd hit were dead ends. The bastard had hurt Kate and he was getting away with it no doubt with help from the FBI. He wanted to punch something.

“Go home. We’re not getting anything done tonight.”

“Really Boss?” Tony asked shocked.

“Go before I change my mind!”

“Thank you boss. Come on McNerd lets go.” Tony called out to the probationary agent.

Gibbs was eager to get home he felt horrible that he'd left Kate after she'd had a flashback even though she had been sleeping. It was hard to watch her suffer and not be able to do anything about it. He was used to being able to fix things and with Kate he couldn't. He had fallen for Kate hard and there was no turning back now.

“Jason…I’m fine! No…it’s not a big deal…NO it’s not…you told Rachel!? Why…forget it just give the phone to my niece!” Gibbs heard Kate talking on the phone upset.

“Everything okay?” He asked as Kate pulled the phone away from her ear.

“Yeah just dandy,” She replied sarcastically before putting the phone back to her ear, “Hey Stephy. How are you…wow…yeah…Soon sweetie…I’ll come home for Christmas how's that? Good…okay.” Her voice softened and a smile formed on her lips as she talked to her niece.

Gibbs waited for Kate to finish on the phone, “You sure everything's okay?”

“It's fine just fine….My brother is an idiot.” She mumbled.

“I'm here for you.”

“My oldest brother, Jason. He and I have always been close. I was the baby sister and he was the protective brother. My mom told him about…ya know and he told Rachel, which means the whole family knows by now! Now now they know how weak their Special Agent little sister is. There was a reason I held off on telling my mom and why I only told her. My screw ups aren't there business!”

“Kate, listen to me. You did not screw up. You did not do anything wrong. He raped you. There was nothing you could have done to stop him. He had a gun on you. Kate, you survived and that's all that matters. Wondering about ‘What if’ and blaming yourself isn't doing you any good, because it was not your fault.”

Kate turned away from him, hiding her face with her long brown hair.

“Then why do I feel like it is? Huh? Why me? Haven't I suffered enough at his hands…haven't we all? I could of fought harder. I shouldn't have let my guard down. I should have-“

“No! Stop, Kate, stop. He broke into your place, he had a gun, fought you, and raped you. It's his fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Kate, you could have done nothing at all and it still wouldn't be your fault. He's a monster.”

“I know that…but at the same time I don't!” Kate cried out frustrated.

  


 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

“What are you wearing? ‘Cause I'm not sure it's appropriate.” Gibbs asked Kate who had just emerged from her bedroom.

“How are a sweatshirt and sweatpants inappropriate?” Kate questioned.  
  
“NCIS dress code says professional not casual, Kate. Hurry up and change!”

“You mean I'm off house arrest?!” Kate exclaimed and hurried to change into work clothes.

It had been a week since her mom had returned to Indiana and about two weeks since that night. Kate was getting restless and the more free time she had to just think, the worse she felt. Gibbs figured that she'd be okay on modified duty and she'd be busy.

“Do the others know I’m back?” Kate asked,

“No. Might wanna see Abby first ‘cause she's been sulking around without you. Says your her partner in crime. This true?”

“I’m innocent. Abby’s the one that's hacking servers.”  
  
Gibbs muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like “yeah right”. Kate ignored him, something she wasn't accustomed to doing. When she got to work she'd go straight to the lab. Kate suddenly felt bad she'd talked to Abby maybe twice since it happened. Actually she hadn't talked to any of her NCIS family since then. Would they be mad at her? Would they act differently? She felt anxious now she hadn't thought about any of this until now.

“’S gonna be fine. Relax.” Gibbs assured her before stepping on the gas and making a turn into the parking lot.

As the two of them got out of the car, Gibbs grabbed Kate’s arm before she had the chance to walk away, “Gonna be fine, Kate but if ya need a break or if ya decide it's too soon…it's okay.”

“I'll be fine.” Kate was assuring herself more than she was assuring her boss.

“Remember if ya need anythin- ”

“I know. You've only told me a couple hundred times.” Kate smiled weakly and headed into the building. She could feel people's eyes on her even though they tried not to. She heard whispers, rumors about the rape or some other fictional story about her two week disappearance. As she approached the lab she could heard and felt the familiar vibrations and sounds of her friend’s loud music. It was obvious that Abby hadn't noticed her enter the lab as, she was still concentrated on some computer thing.

“Hey.” Kate tapped Abby on the shoulder.  
“Kate, Kate, Kate!!! You're back!” Abby gave her a suffocating hug.

“So, how's everything here?” Kate asked.

“It's good. Everyone missed you Kate. Tony doesn't have anyone to pick on except McGee when he's here.”

“What a tragedy.” Kate replied sarcastically.

“How are you? No one has heard from you in nearly two weeks…except for Gibbs of course.”

“I’m fine, Abs. Doing well.” Kate lied.

“Kate.” Her friend scolded.

“Alright so not so well but I'm getting by.”

“You know you can talk to me right? I was worried about you.”

“I know…it’s just hard to say it.”

Abby gave Kate a bear hug, nearly suffocating her. Kate didn't realize exactly how much she missed her best friend, the friend who had convinced her to get a tattoo until now.

“Thanks Abs.”

“Kate! Don't start crying on me now. You've got to get to work. Due me a favor, don't let Tony torture Tim too much, okay?”

“Of course.”

  
Kate was surprised to see that Tony had not arrived yet. It was only her and McGee in the squad room and McGee seemed to be very concentrated on something. She quietly turned on her computer and pulled up her emails. They were mainly from Tony and a few from McGee the rest were notifications about various law enforcement seminars and workshops.

“Kate, you're back. McProbie was worried about you.” Tony announced loudly as he walked in two minutes late.

McGee’s head popped up from the computer, “Oh welcome back Kate.”

“Thank you McGee.”

“Where's the Boss? You carpooled right?” Tony asked.  
“Yes, he drove me to work. No, I don't know where he is.” Kate rolled her eyes.

“Are you still staying with Gibbs? Ya know he’s been married three times so, he’s probably not easy to live with.” Tony babbled on.

Kate smirked as she saw Gibbs’ hand smack the back of Tony’s head.

“Morning Boss.”   
  
“Start working. There's a stack of unfinished reports are on your desk.” Gibbs ordered.  
  
Kate mouthed ‘thank you’ to Gibbs and he nodded. Though her apartment was still a crime scene- three weeks after, she felt somewhat embarrassed and weak that she was still staying with her boss, her crush.

Gibbs discreetly watched Kate work as Tony was attempting to do work and annoy McGee. He was surprised Kate hadn't even looked up to glare at her coworker none the less lecture him. He wondered if this was how she'd be from now on. Gibbs had surmised that she would be different but he had no idea in what ways. He needed coffee.

Kate had noticed Gibbs slip out of the squad room, probably to avoid Tony’s babbling. It was pathetic but she hated when she couldn't see Gibbs, she felt safe in his presence. Though he put on a tough Marine exterior, there was something about him that made him warm, caring, and safe.

“Special Agent Caitlin Todd?” A suit approached her desk, most likely FBI.

“Kate,” She hissed, “Who are you?”

“Agent Greever, FBI. I’d like to speak with you.”

“What do you need to speak with my agent about?” Gibbs approached the Fed silently and startling him. Kate had to stifle a laugh as this Agent Greever jumped.

“Is there someone Agent Todd and I could speak in private?” The Fed demanded rather than asked like he was in his own house.

“No.” The two NCIS agents answered simultaneously.

“Fine,” He grumbled, “Is there anywhere I can talk to the both of you in private?”

Gibbs began to walk away a sign most people at NCIS knew as meaning follow me. Kate followed and smirked as their friend from the FBI ran to catch up with him. To Kate’s surprise Gibbs had actually lead them to the conference room not the elevator.

Gibbs stared at the agent waiting for him to speak.  
“I’m here in regards to the charges Agent Todd filed against Ari Haswari. As you both know, he's an important asset to the Bureau at this time in aiding our investigation into Hamas terrorist cells here in the D.C. area. These accusations could seriously harm his credibility. The FBI is prepared to offer you $10,000 to keep quiet about whatever happened until we no longer need Mr. Haswari.”

Kate’s jaw dropped and she stared at this…this guy before speaking, “You're prepared to offer me money to be quiet about whatever happened?! Let me tell you this, no amount of money will convince me to drop the charges! And whatever happened? Let me show you what happened,” Kate yanked the file, her file from his hands and laid out each gruesome photo, “Ari Haswari raped me. He broke into my house in the middle of the night and raped me! Look at the pictures! Look at them!! He. Raped. Me.”

“I understand that you're upset but-”

“I don't think you do! GO SCREW YOURSELF!” Kate slapped him across the face and left the room without another word. Gibbs silently laughed at the fed’s reaction as Kate slapped him. That's his girl.

“Does she know that she just assaulted a federal agent? I could press charges.”

“Charges would be dropped when the public found out you just tried to bribe a rape victim into silence. I suggest you leave now.” Gibbs growled.

Agent Greever put his hand out, “I don't think you understand the seriousness of what I'm offering.”

“Oh I think Agent Todd and I do know,” Gibbs opened the door to the conference room and looked at the junior agent guarding the door, “Agent, escort our friend from the FBI out and if he tries anything,” He glared at the fed, “shoot him.”

“Of course, Agent Gibbs. Sir, if you'll come with me.” The younger agent replied obediently.

Kate entered her best friend's workspace visibly upset and tired. She sat down in the chair next to Abby as not to disturb her.

“Kate! You're back again…what happened?” Abby spun around in her chair and looked at her friend worried.

“FBI. Abs, you don't think…you don't think that I’m making this up, right?” Kate asked her eyes not meeting her friend’s.

“Of course not! Why? Did the FBI say you were?”

“Basically. Offered me money to keep quiet about and I quote ‘whatever happened’” Tears began forming in her eyes and Abby embraced her.

“Oh Kate…. We know what really happened and no jerk from the FBI can hide the truth.” Abby held onto her crying friend, feeling somewhat guilty for what had happened. It should've been her in autopsy that day, not Kate and if it had been her then, maybe Kate would've never had to endure this.

Gibbs was furious with Agent Greever and the FBI. The bastard had upset Kate and implied that she was exaggerating or making up the rape. The nerve of this guy. He had been with Kate right after it had happened and just looking at her he had known something horrible had just happened. Gibbs wanted to slug the guy or more preferably put a round or two in him.

“Abs, have you seen-” He stopped mid-sentence when he entered the lab and found Abby and Kate huddled up together, crying at the computer..

He went over to the two women and saw that they were both asleep or at least nearly asleep. Abby kept blankets and pillow for long nights in some cabinet. Gibbs found a large blanket and placed it over them, tucking them in, and giving them each a kiss on the forehead before going back to the squad room.

This was his fault if he hadn't decided today was a good day for Kate to return to work, she wouldn't have had to deal with Agent Greever. He had to fix this, he had to help Kate but how, she won't talk about it. But first, he was going to have a talk with the FBI.

“DiNozzo!”

“Yes boss?”

“Get Fornell here before I shoot him.” Gibbs demanded.

“Uh boss, I'm not sure saying that is a…good idea.” Tony replied.

“Get him here NOW!”

“On it!”  
  
“McGee, find out everything you can about an Agent Greever with the FBI and his involvement with the terrorist.”

“Yes boss,” McGee pulled up the personnel file, “Uh boss…his supervisor is Agent Fornell.”

“Son of a bitch. You have twenty minutes, McGee!”

Gibbs watched the Probie start typing at an inhuman speed while Tony seemed to be annoyed with whomever he was speaking to, which was not at all an uncommon occurrence.

“Fornell’s on his way.” Tony announced as he sunk back into his chair.

“McGee?” Gibbs demanded.

“Greever and his partner, Agent Richards appear to be called into help with an undercover investigation into Hamas terror cells in D.C. quite often but not often enough to make it seem like a regular duty. Greever was once reprimanded for suggesting a victim drop charges. It doesn't say who this victim was or what he or she was a victim off. It was a first offense even though there are complaints about disobeying an order in his file.” McGee was now out of breathe.

  
“Hey sleepy head.” Abby teased as Kate sat up at the computer.

“How long was I out for?”

“Ehh 30,40 minutes. When was the last time you slept?”

Kate shrugged, “I think I got an hour or two last night.”

“You're not sure?”  
  
“Not entirely.”

“You really need to get more sleep. Is it insomnia? Insomnia is an psychological effect of sexual assault. If you're displaying a bunch of symptoms like not sleeping, Kate, maybe you should see a therapist.”

“Abs, I'm fine.”

“Did we discuss this earlier?”

“Okay, I'll think about it.”  
  
“Much better.”

“We're good?”

“We're good but Kate, I’m worried about you. Gibbs, McGee, Tony, and Ducky too. Especially Gibbs.”

She sighed, “I know.”

  
  
“Gibbs.”

“Fornell, conference room now.”

As soon as the door closed and the elevator started moving Gibbs hit the emergency switch and slugged Fornell in the gut.

“What the fuck!?” Fornell exclaimed clutching his gut.

“That's for sending your Agent Greever here to do your dirty work.” Gibbs hissed.

“What?! What the hell are you talking about?” Gibbs stared at him and after a moment came to the conclusion that Fornell really didn't know what the hell was going on.

“Ka- Agent Todd had a visit from Agent Greever this afternoon and he offered her 10k to drop charges and shut up. The terrorist is a vital asset to his damn operation.”

“Son of a bitch. He shouldn't have even been here. I’ll make some calls, find out why he needed to chat with Todd.”

“I want his ass.” Gibbs growled. No one was going to be hurting Kate on his watch and if they did there was going to be hell to pay.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was 6.5 pages in word but now it looks so short. :/


	7. A bit of Trust

She wakes up to screaming only when she wakes up it's silent. It was her. She’s all sticky with sweat and shaking.

_Chill out, Kate it was just a dream. It was just a dream…but it wasn't. It happened. He raped you._

She tries to suppress her sobs but they come out anyways, she's curled up in a ball against the pillows trying to hide.

Gibbs had heard her screams and came rushing to her room where he found her curled up with sobs shaking her body. He sat on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder, making sure it was okay for him to touch her before pulling her closer. She didn't seem to acknowledge that he was there next to her.

“Ssh, Kate. It's okay. I've got ya.” She looked so small and scared, even though he could barely see her face.

“I didn't want it. I didn't want it.” Kate repeated in between the sobs that shook her body.

“I know, Katie, I know. Take a breathe.”

Kate turned her head to look at him and finally it got through to her that he was right there, holding her. She attempted a few deep breathes but she was still choking on her cries.

“I fought. I really did but…. I tried to get away. I tried.”

“I know. You're okay now, Kate. Try to relax and go back to sleep.”

“Don't wanna be alone.” She whispered looking at him with her big brown eyes scared.

“Not gonna leave. Sleep.” He assured her.

“Promise?” Her eyelids were drooping and her words were being less understandable.

“I promise.”

Gibbs got into a more comfortable position and then wrapped his arms around a now whimpering but sleeping Kate. He wondered what had happened in her dream that she was telling him she didn't want it and that she tried to fight him off. It seemed like her nightmares were getting worse rather than better and that worried him.

He woke up about an hour later to Kate thrashing in the bed, whimpering. She was not having a good night. He gently shook her but that only seemed to frighten her.

“Kate, wake up,” She was still tossing and turning, “Kate! Kate, it's just a dream. You're okay. Come on open your eyes.”  
She finally opened her eyes, her breathing was fast and heavy and her eyes wide and startled.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered not looking at him.

“Nothing to be sorry for. You need anything? Water?”

“No.” I just need this pain to stop.

“Think you can go back to sleep?” She shrugged, still avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll stay…if you want.”

Kate’s eyes met his for a half second, “Okay.” She whispered and laid back down facing away from him. She was too tired, too weak to do anything else other than sleep but she couldn't even do that. Kate felt Gibbs wrap an arm firmly around her waist. She closed her eyes and waited to drift off.

 

Kate woke up a third time that night, again to her own screams. Gibbs’ lips were moving but she couldn't understand anything he was saying, all she knew was she felt him on her and she felt sick to her stomach. Kate jumped up off the bed and ran to the bathroom.

Gibbs watched as Kate woke up again panicked and confused. She had glanced at him and then ran off, he wasn't sure why until he heard her getting sick.

Kate was leaning over the toilet throwing up anything that was in her stomach. She flinched when she felt someone, Gibbs pull her hair out of the way.

“’s just me.”

Kate relaxed a bit knowing that Gibbs was there. She wasn't even embarrassed to be throwing up in front of her boss because she felt so bad. She finally felt like she wasn't going to get sick again and managed to rinse her face and brush her teeth.

“Feeling any better?” Gibbs asked as he put a cup of green tea in front of her.

“I guess. Tired.” She sipped at the tea.

“I’m worried about you. All these nightmares and sleepless nights…. ‘S not good for you and now you're getting sick.” He knew this wasn't the first time she'd gotten sick but it was the first time he’d actually been there when she did.

“It’s just…they were so real, so vivid. It’s that night all over again and it never stops, Gibbs, I just want it to stop. I want…I want things to be normal again.”

“But things aren't going to be the same but you're gonna be okay.” He said gently.

“I know….but this, its changed everything. I’ve always wanted a family. A husband some kids and now I'm just thinking who'd want to be with someone like me now? Who’d ever be able to love me? I'm broken and dirty and…this future I've always wanted just seems more unrealistic than ever.”

Gibbs felt a pain in his heart as he listened to Kate talk about a family that she worried she'd never have. A family, kids, a husband, kids.

“Kate, is it possible…that you're pregnant?” Gibbs asked softly remembering how Shannon had such vivid nightmares when she was pregnant with Kelly and the morning sickness.

Kate's eyes brown eyes widened and she froze, thinking, “It…it's possible. Oh my god. No. I- What if I am? I can't…oh my god. A baby? I don't know…oh my god.”

“Take a deep breathe. Before you start panicking, why don't you find out if you are pregnant. You might not be. No reason to start stressing if you're not.”

She closed her eyes, regaining composure, “You're right. I'll go to the store and get a pregnancy test. Yeah…I’ll go get a test.”

He didn't say anything he knew she was sorting through everything by talking aloud to herself.

It wasn't even 07:30 when she went to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. Kate felt nervous, out of place as she walked down the isle of the pharmacy with pregnancy tests. She looked at the shelf with a hundred different tests and grabbed three different ones. If she was pregnant then, maybe something good could actually come from this. She kind of hoped she was pregnant but she also hoped she wasn't. She's a cop, unmarried, and rarely home.

“Your first?”

Kate looked up, the cashier was talking to her, “What?”

“Baby.”

“Oh…um maybe.”

“Well good luck.”

“Thanks.” Kate handed over the cash in exchange for her bag with the tests.

She quietly entered Gibbs’ house, he wasn't anywhere to be seen so she figured he was probably working on the boat. She quietly made her way to the bathroom and read the directions on the pregnancy tests, pretty simple…except for the waiting three minutes part.

Gibbs had heard Kate come back home but he didn't want to bother her. He sensed that she was scared but he also thought he’d sense a bit of excitement in her. He wanted to give her some privacy but he wanted to be there for her so, he went upstairs and waited for her. Kate finally came out, he couldn't tell if she had just found out she was pregnant or not. She looked scared but she had a half smile but he wasn't sure if that was relief or joy.

“I'm pregnant.” She whispered, placing one hand on her stomach

What was he supposed to say? Congratulations? I'm sorry?

“I’m gonna keep her. I'll leave now if you want me to…go back to my apartment. Just let me get my stuff-”

“Congratulations, Kate.” He surprised himself and her by giving her a hug. “So…her? A girl?”

Kate smiled sheepishly, “I- yes, she's a girl…you're not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because I’m pregnant. I’m gonna keep my baby and she…I'm pregnant because I was raped. My baby’s father is a terrorist and wants to kill you. How the hell am I going to tell people when they ask about the father?”

“Not your fault, not the baby’s fault either. I'm gonna be here for you and the baby. Okay?”

“O-kay but why? Why would you want to be there for a baby, who's not yours. A baby who's his? And me…I’m not-”

“Not the best timing but…Kate, I like you not in the way a boss should like this subordinates. I don't wanna just be your boss, Kate.”

Kate was stunned. It wasn't even time to head to work and she’d already gotten life changing news. “Gibbs…I-I’m not ready for a relationship. Not now. I don't know if I'll ever be ready but I like you a lot, too.”

“Can take it slow. Slow as you want. Whatever you want, Kate.”

“Okay, slow.” Kate agreed, they already had some sort of unspoken unorthodox relationship going on.

“I'll make breakfast you go get ready. I mean if you want to. I get it if you don't want to come in today, it's not like we have an active case so-”

“Gibbs, I’ll go in. I need some distraction.”

Kate went back up to her room and looked in the mirror as she got dressed. She ran her hand over her breast and they were tender and they looked bigger. Her stomach felt firmer, maybe it actually was or maybe it was just her imagination after all she was only seven weeks. Had it really been seven whole weeks since she'd been raped? And how hadn't she noticed that she might be pregnant, why hadn't it ever crossed her mind? If she was already nearing the end of the first trimester, she needed to make an appointment with her OBGYN A.S.A.P.

……..

“Morning, Kate!” Tony chirped.

“Morning.” Oh she was tired and getting those positive signs before work meant she didn't get any coffee.

“You look like hell.”

“Thanks, Tony. Women love to hear that.” She glared.

“I was just saying! Probie, doesn't she look horrible?”

McGee looked up from his computer looking back and forth between them. “I think Agent Todd looks…fine.”

“Thank you, McGee.” Kate smiled at him before giving Tony a look of triumph.

“Liar. Come on McProbie, you can't be afraid of Kate.” He whispered loudly.

“I'd be afraid of her if I were you, DiNozzo.” Gibbs suddenly appeared at the opposite end of the squad-room.

“Of course, boss.”

“Get to work. I want all of your paperwork from the last month on my desk by 14:00.”

Tony grimaced and Kate smirked knowing that in the last month he’d probably filled out only a form or two. She had some paperwork from their last case to finish up but that was it. She'd caught up on paperwork when Gibbs had out her on house arrest.

Gibbs kept an eye on Kate and DiNozzo, he was feeling awfully protective of Kate. Sure he's always been a bit more protective of her than any of the other agents, but now she's pregnant. He couldn't protect her the first time one,two, three times so now he really had to make sure that her and the baby stayed safe.  
He glanced over towards her as he heard her cell phone ring. She scurried off out of the squad room as she answered the phone. Gibbs wondered if it was her family calling and she didn't want Tony to here or if it was something else, more personal. Kate is a private person but she usually would talk to whoever called at her desk.  
The day progresses without any dead marines or sailors or terrorism threats. Kate was glad she didn't feel like doing anything other than sitting at her desk doing nothing that was particularly useful. The fact that she was pregnant hadn't full hit her yet but she very slowly coming to realize it especially after she got an OB appointment for tomorrow afternoon. What if the baby wasn't okay? What if she'd hurt her when she had passed out? She felt nauseous, oh god what if she'd hurt the baby. She was gonna puke, she got up slowly and as discreetly as she could rushed to the ladies room.

She fell to her knees in the stall and puked, her head hurt too. There was still an hour left before she could go home, well to Gibbs’ house, assuming that they didn't catch a case. Her stomach churned and she threw up again.

“Kate? Are you in here?” Abby’s gentle voice called out.

“I’m fine.” Kate weakly called back as she got up from the floor.

“Yeah…you look great.”

“Gibbs send you?” Kate asked, splashing her face with cold water.

“Yup. He was worried about you. He mentioned you weren't feeling well.”

“He’s right about that. Damn my head hurts.” Kate groaned. She wondered if she should tell Abby she's pregnant or if she should wait until after she sees the doctor.

“You don't have an active case. Come on, I'm taking you back to Gibbs’.” Abby told her and it was clear that nothing was going to change her mind.

 

“Have you thought about seeing someone?” Abby asked as she drove out of the parking lot.

“Not really. But I guess it's probably a good idea.” Kate confessed, she hasn't thought about it but now that she was pregnant it was something she needed to do.

“Good. You know you can talk to me about anything. Gibbs hasn't said anything but Kate, I know you're not sleeping because you have nightmares. I can see it in your eyes. You're always tired, bags around your eyes, scared, forcing yourself to stay awake even when you really don't have to because you're working overtime.”

Kate looked out the window away from Abby, “Abs, I…you're right but I. Ugh I don't know.” Kate turned slightly towards Abby and closed her eyes, “I think I'm pregnant.”

Abby didn't say anything she just stared at her shocked. It seemed like minutes before Abby said anything to her.

“Have you taken a test?” Kate nodded. “What did it say?”

Kate inhaled deeply, “I took three this morning. They were positive. I have an appointment tomorrow. Abby, what am I going to do? I’m a field agent! How am I going to take care off her?! This wasn't supposed to happen, it's not how it should happen.” Tears streamed down Kate’s face and now Abby’s too.

“It's going to be okay. We’re all here for you. You're going to get through this and if you decide to keep the baby-”

“I’m keeping her. That much I know.” Kate interrupted.

“Okay. I’m here for you. Whatever you and little baby Kate need. You're going to figure everything out maybe not now now maybe not even next week, but you're smart and amazing you'll figure it out and everyone will be here for you. ” Abby parked the car and hugged her friend. Kate hugged her friend back.

“Thank you.” Kate whispered feeling slightly relieved.

“I'll call you later. Go take a nap, rest.”

“Okay. Thank you, Abby.” Kate got out of the car and headed inside.

 

Gibbs was frustrated that he was still here while Kate who wasn't feeling well was at his house. He’d seen her looking pale and tired at her desk before she'd left. He wanted to get home, see Kate, take care of her. He wasn't the type of person who could sit around doing nothing when someone needed him nor could he concentrate on anything.

Gibbs walked into his house and the first thing he saw was Kate curled up on the couch sleeping peacefully. He grabbed a blanket, it was Kate’s and covered her up with it, she let out a little noise before burying her head back into the pillow. He was relieved to see her sleeping without tossing and turning. God knows she needs the sleep.

 

Kate woke up from her nap to find Gibbs cursing. His hand was bleeding and a knife was on the counter next to him. She jumped up, grabbed a paper towel, wet it, and pressed it against his lower thumb where she'd determined the bleeding was coming from.

“What were you doing?” Kate asked as grabbed a first aid kit from underneath the sink.

“Making dinner.” He gestured to the salad behind him.

Kate sighed, “Men…” She rubbed an alcohol wipe over his cut and quickly slapped a band-aid over the cut.

“Sorry.” He gave her a charming smile.

“Rule number six.”

“Rule number eight.”

“Never take anything for granted?”

“Not everyday a beautiful woman patches me up.”

Kate blushed, “Okay. So what's for dinner?”

“That kale salad stuff you like and chips.”

“You're eating salad?”

“Course not. Don't know how you eat that.” Gibbs made a face.

“It's good for you. Should have some.” Kate shoved a forkful of the salad into her mouth.

He shrugged and headed down to the basement. Kate shook her head, resisting the urge to laugh. She knew that he was avoiding her mini-lecture on eating healthy.  
As it got later and she got tired, she got in the shower. She was too tired to start a bath and if she did she'd probably fall asleep and drown. She finally felt comfortable enough to hop in the shower without telling or asking first, it was becoming like home. She rubbed her belly as the warm water hit her bare skin. As she lathered her body with soap, she started feeling quite a bit anxious about her appointment. The doctor was going to have to touch her in places she hadn't touched, wanted touched, or even thought about touching since the fateful day seven weeks ago. Her doctor was great she'd been seeing her since she moved to D.C. nearly seven years ago when she had begun working in the Secret Service yet, the thought of someone else even a woman Doctor touching her made her cringe.

  
_God, how am I going to do this? If it weren't for the baby, I wouldn't be doing this. How am I going to let someone touch me? If I can't touch myself, except to scrub myself raw, how the hell am I going to do this?_

 

“Abs?” Gibbs called out.

“Hey Gibbs.” She jumped down the last few steps.

“What's up?”

“Kate.”  
Gibbs sighed he had a bit of an idea where this conversation was going. “Kate.”

“I'm worried about her, Gibbs.”

“We all are.”

“Did she tell you anything umm about uh.” Abby wasn't sure how to phrase it without giving away Kate’s secret.

“The baby?”

“So you do know. Is she going to be okay? It can't be easy for her, can it?”

“She's gonna be fine, Abs. Kate’s got you and me and the rest of the team.”

“Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.” Abby turned around and headed back up the steps, not seeing Kate anywhere in view.

Kate put on oversized t-shirt, sweatpants, and a robe. She couldn't bear going to bed anymore without clothing that covered most of her body. She wondered how long it would be before she started showing and needed to wear maternity clothes. Maternity clothes- she'd be showing the world she was carrying the child of a terrorist. No, not his child, _hers_. This baby is hers not his.

Gibbs was sanding the boat when he heard Kate’s footsteps getting closer and then stop. He turned around to face the stairs and saw Kate sitting on the middle of the staircase, watching him quietly.

“Wanna help?” Gibbs held out a piece of sandpaper, inviting her down and she did come down to take the sandpaper. “Back and forth, slow and firm.”

Kate started sanding the boat quietly, thinking, worrying, just wanting to be in the presence of someone safe. The two of them worked silently side-by-side on his boat.

“Abby stopped by.”

“What did she need?” Kate asked curiously.

“She’s worried about ya, Kate. We all are.”

“Oh. I need time off tomorrow. 12 to 2,” Gibbs raised an eyebrow waiting for her to explain further, “Doctor's appointment.”

“For the baby?”

“Yeah. OB/GYN appointment…yeah not exactly my idea of fun. Hell, I don't even know how I'm going to get through it.” Her hand covered her face, trying to hide her watering eyes. “I always figured that when I got pregnant I’d be married and happy, have a husband who’d be ecstatic about a baby and come to the first doctor appointment,” She laughed, “obviously that's not how things have turned out. I just- wish… never mind.”

“Gonna be a great mom.”

She smiled weakly, “Thanks. Doesn't feel like it but…okay.”

“I mean it, Kate.”

“Would you...god this is pathetic. You know what never mind. Forget I said anything..” Kate laughed awkwardly before starting to make her way to the stairs.

“No, tell me.” Gibbs told her with a gentle but firm voice.

“Okay just feel free to say no, I won't be offended, not like you really care if anyone is defended.”

“Kate.” His voice said get to the point.

“Okay…I was wondering if maybe you'd come with me to the doctor’s appointment. Just for the ultrasound,” She quickly added, “I don't really want to go alone. See pathetic. I’m going to bed now. Okay? Okay.” _Jeez, Kate what the hell!? Asking **Gibbs**? He doesn't want anything to do with a baby from-_

“I’d be honored.” He cut her thoughts short.

“What?”

“I'll come. Like I said before, I care about you. Whatever you need, Kate.” He stepped towards her and kissed the tip of her nose, affectionately. He laughed to his self when a light pink circle formed on each of her cheeks and she smiled, averting her eyes. She was so beautiful when she was embarrassed, the meek smile on her lips and the rosy color in her cheeks. Since they'd met, he'd enjoyed teasing her just so he could see her blush or get all badass special agent on him. He wondered if her child would have the same smile as she did. He'd make sure that nothing happened to the little one that had happened to Kate, his Kate.


	8. Love

Kate sat next on the exam table in the thin cloth gown, tapping her fingers against the paper cover on the table nervously. She was driving Gibbs slightly crazy with the constant taping of her fingers he knew she was nervous and had put his hand on her thigh back in the waiting room, in hopes of getting her to relax but that backfired she nearly twisted his wrist off. Having relearned that Kate was deadly, he was sitting back coping with the annoying tapping.

“You always do that when your nervous ‘cause it's the first I'm noticing it?” Gibbs finally asked.

She tilted her head thinking about it, “No. I usually have something to do with my hands.” Gibbs nodded at her explanation.

There was a slight knock on the door and then Dr. Kegan entered the room.

“Hello, Kate.” The doctor glanced over at Gibbs.

“Hi um this is Gibbs.”

Gibbs shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Gibbs.”

“So, I hear you think your pregnant? The nurse took a blood and urine sample?”

“Yeah.”

“So how have you been feeling? I’ve gotten your recent medical files.” Dr. Kegan asked.

“Fine, could be better.”

“Okay. Do you know how many weeks you are?”

“Seven well it's been seven weeks since so add two more, nine weeks? The only way I could be pregnant if I conceived during...the rape.” Kate averted her eyes to the ground.

“Alright. So we’ll start with a routine breast and pelvic exam, Pap smear,” Kate grimaced and the doctor chuckled, “I know. Then, we’ll do an ultrasound.”

“Okay.” Kate fidgeted a bit and glanced at Gibbs who gave her a reassuring nod.

“Kate, if at anytime you want me to stop or it hurts, tell me. I don't want to make this anymore painful than it has to be. Alright?” Kate nodded. “And you want him to stay or go?”

“He's staying unless he changes his mind.”

“Haven't changed my mind, Kate. Whatever you need.”

“Okay then, I’m going to need you to unbutton about a fourth the gown.”   
Kate glanced at Gibbs, “You look and I will shoot you where the sun doesn't shine,” Kate looked at the magazine he was reading, “So you just keep reading that parenting magazine.” Gibbs put his hands up and buried his head in the magazine.

“Am I to assume you're a good shot?” Dr. Kegan asked as she began examining Kate’s breasts. Kate winced remembering how he had touched them.

“I’d say I’m a good shot. I had to be when I was in the Secret Service and I still do now but if you're protecting the President, you better be able to kill with a single shot.”

“Remind me never to get on your bad side. You did actually protect the president. All those years of you telling me that your job was classified.”

“Couldn't tell anyone I was in the Secret Service especially not on the presidential detail or I would've been putting myself, the other agents, and the president in the line of fire.”

“I see. Okay you can button back up. Everything’s good.”

“That mean if I look at you, you're not gonna shoot me?” Gibbs asked.

“Yes but now you're keeping your eyes up here.” Kate replied with an eye roll.

“Kate, feet in the stirrups and remember if you want me to stop just tell me.”

“Alright.”

Her muscles tensed and she shut her eyes as she felt the instrument inside of her. It hurt and was more uncomfortable than she remembered. Vulnerable, humiliated that's how she felt last time someone had been touching her down there. A whimper escaped her lips and then she felt someone, Gibbs squeeze her hand.

“You’re alright, Kate.” She nodded weakly. “Tell me a story. What was your mom saying about you riding a horse with one arm in a cast?”

Kate smiled, “I had to have been five or six- six I think and mom already told you how I fractured my arm. So, I really loved my horse, Prince was his name. Prince was my best friend. Anyhow, I always rode Prince in the afternoons when we all came home from school and my six year old self decided that a cast wasn't going to get in my way.” She winced and a soft whimper escaped from her lips and she squeezed his hand.

“Sorry. You doing okay? Do you want me to stop?” Dr. Kegan asked.

“I'm fine. Just want to get it over with.”

“Anyways, I’d been riding since before I could walk so, I didn't really need a saddle. I let Prince out and found a bale of hay that was good enough to be a stool for me. I got on Prince, clutched onto his mane with my good arm and I rode him around the yard. Jason, my oldest brother saw me and tried to get me to come down, but I was stubborn so he gave up as long as I let him ride next to me. Michael and Seth, the twins are the third and fourth born. They saw me and immediately decided they were gonna go tell mom. I don't know where Rachel was, she would've pulled me right off my horse if she was there. Mom wasn't happy but she let me ride him as long as Jason was with me.”

“Kate, everything’s good. Your file says you had some very minor vaginal tears and those have healed up nicely, they're nonexistent now. Have you had any pain or bleeding there?”

“I had some bleeding, not much just spots here and there for a couple days afterwards and I mean I was really sore for like a week, but other than that no.”

“Good. I’m gonna go see if your blood work is back yet and then if it confirms your pregnancy, which I’m confident it will confirm I’ll do an ultrasound.”

“Okay.” She was surprised how quickly that went.

“You excited to see the baby?” Gibbs asked.

Kate smiled, “Yeah, I am. It's just so weird that a little over 24 hours ago I had no idea and now I have a little person growing inside of me.”

Before Gibbs could say anything else, the doctor returned into the room with papers.

“Congratulations, Kate, you are indeed pregnant and your tests have shown no STD’s of course we’ll want to retest in a couple months.”

“Doc, if someone happened to have the assailant’s blood and could run tests on it, would that be able to determine if he had any diseases.” Kate knew where Gibbs was going with his questioning. He wanted Abby to run the blood.

The doctor raised her eyebrow, “Yes, if you had his blood you could test for STD’s and any genetic diseases as well. Are you saying that you are in possession of a blood sample?”

“I shot him, twice and um flesh wounds bleed a lot so, the forensic scientists at NCIS has more than enough blood to spare for testing.” Kate commented.

“Well then, if you are able to test it send me the results or you could get me the sample.” Kate and Gibbs nodded, “Okay, Kate, let's see the baby. Hopefully we'll be able to hear your baby’s heartbeat today. You can usually hear the heartbeat around nine and eleven weeks so, if we don't hear anything don't worry. Since, you're in the first trimester I'm going to do a transvaginal ultrasound next time it'll be an abdominal one.” The doc held up the thin ultrasound probe.

Kate wasn't thrilled to have yet another foreign object inside of her but if it was for the baby, that she could deal with. Gibbs grabbed her hand again as the doctor started the ultrasound. The grainy black and white image filled the screen and Kate grinned when she saw the baby.

“There's your baby. You can see the head right here and it's a bit difficult to see but there's an arm and that's a leg.” The doctor pointed to the screen.

The little jellybean sized thing on the screen was her baby. Her little one. The baby was wiggling around like crazy. Kate couldn't take her eyes off the screen. She was really pregnant, she was really a mother.

“The baby’s measuring nine weeks and healthy. Shall we see if we can hear a heartbeat?” The doctor asked and Kate nodded eagerly, not trusting herself to speak without her voice cracking.

Soon enough a little thumping noise filled the room, her baby’s heartbeat. Tears filled Kate’s eyes and for the first time in a while they were happy tears. Kate turned to look at Gibbs who also had watery eyes and was staring at the screen.

“That’s her. God, she's beautiful.” Kate was stunned that this was her baby. Her daughter up on that screen.

“You're thinking she's a girl?” The doc asked Kate smiling.

“It sounds crazy but I feel like she's a little girl.”

“Not crazy, tons of women come in here and tell me that they're having a boy or a girl before the 20 week ultrasound and they're right quite often. Mother’s instinct is usually right. With my son, I knew I was having a boy from the moment I got the positive test.”

“She's quite active.” Gibbs finally said.

“Sign of a healthy baby.” The doctor said.

 

Gibbs drove back to the Navy Yard actually following traffic laws. Kate stared at the ultrasound photo of her baby girl.

“So are you going to tell anyone?” Gibbs asked.

“Haven't really thought about it that much. Not today though. I guess I'll have to tell Morrow, I'll probably do that before I tell anyone else at work. I'll call my parents and siblings later and give them the news and hopefully they'll take it well.”

“And Tony, McGee, and Ducky?”

“Not today. I don't want to tell them all separately so, I'll have to find a time where I can tell them all. Do you think they'll be okay with this?”

“If they aren't, they will be when I'm done. If you want to tell everyone at once we could have them all over for a barbecue. This weekend is supposed to be the last nice weekend, could use that as an excuse and you tell them then.”

“That's a good plan. Gibbs, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming with me. I’d imagine that going wasn't your first choice of things to be doing.”

“You're welcome, Kate. Now let's get back before DiNozzo starts thinking we're on a date.”

 

Tony watched his coworker very happily return from wherever she was and very happily work on a cold case. He found this very odd because just before she left for wherever she seemed distracted. Tony squatted down in front of her desk, waiting for her to look away from her computer.

“Have a good date, Kate?” 

To his surprise she smiled, “Yes, I had a very good date. Thanks for asking.” She wasn't exactly lying just spinning things a little, she did have a date to see her baby but Tony didn't need to know that quite yet.

“Huh.” Tony returned to his desk. Something was going on, Kate never gave him an easy time if he asked about her personal life.

Kate was feeling very content at least for the moment, she’s pregnant and the baby is little healthy jumping bean. That in mind, she didn't mind searching through witness statements and forensic reports from a five year old cold case for anything hinky.

“DiNozzo, if anyone needs me, I'm in the lab.” Kate didn't wait for him to answer.

 

“Kate!”

“You look extremely busy.” Kate glanced at the computer game Abby and McGee are currently playing.

“McGee, shoo! Kate and I need some girl time.” McGee winced at the mention of girl time and swiftly grabbed his laptop and left.  
“Soooo how was it?!”

“Good. She's healthy and beautiful.” Kate pulled out an ultrasound photo for Abby.

“Aww! She's adorable. Have you shown Gibbs?”

“He actually came with me.” She felt weird saying that.

“Really? Are you and Gibbs?”

“Kind of? Not really, it's complicated.”

“But you want to be together and he’s obviously in love with you and you're head over heels for him too!.” 

“Well I mean yeah I do want to but like I said it's complicated.”

“Uh huh. Gibbs letting you stay with him, Gibbs being all protective of you, and Gibbs going to a doctor’s appointment with you is extremely complicated.” Abby told her sarcastically.

“It is!”

“Nope.”

“What's complicated?” Gibbs asked startling the two women.

“Not you and Kate.” Abby smirked at Kate.

“Nice chatting with you, Abs, but I am not continuing this conversation.”

Gibbs watched as Kate left the lab and quirked an eyebrow at Abby, “You talkin about me and Kate?”

“Of course. You're smitten.”

 

After work, Kate crashed on the couch mere seconds after she got in the house and Gibbs had gone down to the basement. Today he wasn't working on the boat, he was drawing out ideas for a crib for Kate’s baby. The baby was going to need somewhere to sleep and babies are expensive and she's certainly not getting rich on a federal agent’s salary. And Abby is right he is kind of, completely smitten.   
When Kate awkwardly asked him to accompany her to her appointment, it had been him happy that she knew she could trust him. He knew that she's weary of just about everyone now and for her to trust him like that was a big deal. Then there was something tugging at his heart when he saw the baby on the ultrasound monitor and the look of unconditional love in Kate's eyes; it was something he wanted to be a part of. He wants to be a part of Kate’s life.

Kate woke up to a completely silent house, even the basement was quiet- no breathing, no noises. The silence was very nerve wracking, she could hear everything which was actually nothing and that meant she couldn't hear any comforting noises of Gibbs working on his boat. It was too quiet for her liking. As she stood up, a piece of paper fell from the blanket that she didn't remember putting over herself it must have been Gibbs.

Went to hardware store. Be back soon. Call if you need anything. –Gibbs

Kate smiled at the note, it wasn't a love note but it was considerate of him to not leave her clueless and panicked.

Gibbs returned from the hardware store with wood, glue, and a stencil for his new project. Kate was no longer on the couch and the blanket was folded nicely across the back of the couch, she must be awake now or down for the night. He brought his stuff down to the basement where to his surprise, Kate was sitting in the boat with her sketchbook and pencils. He knew she heard him but wasn't saying anything, which was typical for her when she was drawing.

“Whatcha drawing?” Gibbs asked as he approached her trying to see what she was doing,

“Just figures of my imagination.” Kate lied.

He peeked over her shoulder and saw a drawing of a baby wrapped in a blanket, not enough telling features for him to know whether the baby was a boy or girl but it was beautiful.

“Nice. The little one?”

“Yeah, it's not finished yet.” Kate told him as she picked up the wallet sized ultrasound photo.

“Uh Kate, do ya think that maybe um I could have a copy of that?” He gestured to the photo, feeling like he was out of place asking.

Kate looked up at him and smiled as she handed him a copy of the photo.

“I called my parents, brothers, and Rachel. Told them I'm pregnant. Mom was enthusiastic from the moment I told her but dad he was trying to figure out how to ask me who the father was even though I knew that he knew. Same thing with Jason and Michael. They knew he has to be the father but god it was so awkward it was painful having them try and ask,” Kate laughed nervously, “By the time I called Seth and Rachel I just straight out said ‘I’m nine weeks pregnant and the answer is yes to your question about the paternity of the baby’. They were all pretty happy and supportive but it seems like they're all unsure of what to say. Also called and made an appointment for Tuesday at 5:00 with that therapist Dr. Kegan recommended.”

“But your family's good?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good.”

“What about the team? Do you think they will? You know be good with it?” Kate bit her lip.

“If they want to keep their job they will.”

“No, really, Gibbs, what do you think?”

“I think it'll be a shock to them but I think they'll be happy for you. Duck’ll start telling you stories about some pregnant tribal woman he met decades ago and how some herbs or something were used to stop morning sickness.” They both laughed knowing that is exactly how Ducky will react.

“Sooo are you still up for that barbecue this weekend?” Kate asked, smiling softly.

“Of course. Abby the only one who knows?”

“Yup. She won't tell.”

“Tomorrow I’ll invite them and you.” Gibbs grinned.

“You like top secret ops, don't you?”

“Good at keeping secrets.”

“That's because you don't socialize.” Kate muttered under her breathe or so she thought.

“Don't socialize ‘cause I don't have time for stupid.” He retorted.

“You socialize with me.” Kate raised her eyebrows, teasingly.

“I don't mind talking with beautiful intelligent feisty women.”

“Okay stop. One, that's the most adjectives I've ever heard you use and two, if you're going to start calling me beautiful then I want to know what the hell this is.”

Gibbs simply looked at her waiting to her to go on further.

“I’m pregnant, Gibbs. I mean we really really briefly discussed this but I'm living with you…for the moment and you came to the ultrasound with me even if she's not yours. And according to Abby we should be together, she says you're interested…romantically.”

“Abby's right, Kate, I want to be with you. I want to be a part of your life and the baby’s and no Kate, it doesn't matter if I'm not her biological father. I want to be there for you two.”

Kate paused, taking in everything he said, “I know you know that I…have feelings for you. I just if we are together, how is this going to work? I mean you deserve someone without all the baggage I have and I don't want to weigh down on you.”

“I've got baggage too, everyone does some more than others. Katie, if you let me…well even if you don't, I'm still gonna be there for you. I haven't felt this way about someone since… a long time.”

“Since Shannon?” Kate asked softly.

“Since Shannon.” He confirmed.

“I’m willing to give us a go, Gibbs, but like you've said slow. I don't know…I’m scared.”

“So that's a yes?” Gibbs smiled.

“Yes.” Gibbs kissed her cheek lovingly and put his hand on her belly, she blushed slightly but was smiling.


	9. Her child

Kate woke up not to a nightmare but to a queasy stomach that morning and rushed to the bathroom. She hated this and she was only nine weeks along, she'd heard stories from her brothers and their wives about awful morning sickness lasting forever and she'd thought they were exaggerating how bad it was, now she was praying that this didn't last longer because she felt like crap. 

“You okay?” She hadn't heard Gibbs come in and hold up her hair.

“How long until this is over?” Kate moaned and then glared as Gibbs chuckled.

“Sorry. You need anything?” 

“A time traveling machine from one of Tony’s movies so, I can skip to the part where the baby's here.” Kate puked again.

After a few minutes, Kate no longer felt like she was gonna puke again so, she brushed her teeth and Gibbs disappeared to the kitchen.  
Gibbs hated seeing Kate not feeling well, he was just glad that she hadn't woken crying from a nightmare too. Though he hated the nightmares more because if he had gotten Haswari the first or even second time, she wouldn't be having nightmares of being raped.

“Made you some toast and tea…Shannon would eat toast when she had morning sickness with Kelly.” 

“I don't actually know about Shannon and Kelly just that they were murdered when you were overseas.. You'll have to tell me about them some time and thanks.” Kate nibbled at the toast, afraid that if she ate too much she'd puke.

Gibbs smiled, “Shannon had a rule for everything like never date a lumberjack. She's the one behind the rules. No sugar past seven was another rule of hers. Kelly loved candy and when I was home she got a lot.”

Kate laughed, “I think that'll be a rule for little jellybean too. My nieces and nephews always get spoiled by me and my brothers hate me for it, because they've got to deal with the sugar highs.”

“You're gonna be a great mom.” 

“God, I hope so.”

“You still feeling up for the barbecue?”

Kate sighed, “Yeah.” 

“It’s going to be fine.”  
“This is terrifying.” Kate mumbled as she continued nipping at her toast. She knows Ducky, Tony, and Tim, they're her coworkers, her friends so why the hell was she so nervous? What if they find out she's pregnant and then decide that she must have made it up? What if they want her off the team, a pregnant agent has to be problematic. 

“The what ifs aren't going to help.” 

“How…?” Kate asked dumbfounded, forgetting that Gibbs knows everything.

“Look on your face. Thinking too hard, worrying. Stop worrying and finish eating so, we can go get the food.” 

“You're dragging me along?” 

“You're dragging yourself along.”

“Gibbs, that doesn't even make any sense.”

“Means your coming ‘cause you're not gonna worry all day.”

“Okay?” Kate agreed, still not sure Gibbs knew what he was originally saying.

 

Gibbs had deemed Kate as responsible for getting all the healthy stuff for the barbecue. As Kate went up and down isles, she wondered if this was what her life would be like after the baby was born. Would she work full time or would she be able to manage to get buy being a part time stay at home mom and a part time agent? She stroked her belly, she would like to be able to care for the little jellybean as much as possible, but she wasn't sure how realistic that would be.   
Kate grabbed fruits and the occasional junk food like chips, which are obviously a barbecue food. She'd get to arrange a fruit tray later, that she was sure off. Gibbs acted like healthy foods were poison and he had told her once that her salad wasn't real food. Men. 

 

Abby had arrived over an hour early and was assisting Kate in cutting up the fruit.Tony was the second to arrive, he was actually early for once. Gibbs was in the back starting the grill and Kate was cutting watermelon. 

“Where does Gibbs want this?” Tony asked, holding up a six pack.

“Cooler, in the back.” Kate replied still focused on the watermelon. She wasn't sure she could look at her friends without freaking out and then making up an excuse as to why she'd left the barbecue before it started.

“That's some fancy fruit.” Tony looked at the plate of fruit that was shaped like a smiley face and tried to snatch a slice of an apple that made up the mouth, but Kate was quicker and slapped his hand away.

“No eating until the others are here. You'll eat it all!” 

“Do I have to eat my veggies first?” He asked sarcastically.

“Yes.” 

“Okay, mom.” Tony rolled his eyes and went out the backdoor in search of Gibbs.

“Mom” Abby mouthed to Kate, smiling.

 

“Don't irritate her, DiNozzo.” Gibbs told the younger man the moment he came into view.

“Of course not, Boss. I'd never irritate my partner.” 

“Good. Go see if Kate needs help and if she doesn't stay out of her way.”

“On it, Boss!”

Tony made his way back into the kitchen, “Put the chips in the bowls and don't eat them.” Kate gave him a stern look.

“Good afternoon Caitlin, Abigail, Anthony.” Ducky greeted the two agents and scientist.

“Hi Ducky. How are you?” Kate asked.

“I'm well and yourself?”

“Good. Tony, do you see McGee here yet?” Kate asked as Tony shoved a handful of chips into his mouth. “No! So don't eat anymore…like a child.” 

Ducky chuckled, “Jethro would be grilling out back?”

“Yes.” 

“So, when Probie gets here I can eat?” 

“Put the bowls on the table out back.” Kate ignored him and he did as she asked, well ordered.

“This is awfully domestic stuff, Kate.” Abby smirked.

“Abby! It's still complicated just a little…less now.”

“You two talked? Spill!” 

“I'm not late am I?” McGee asked as he stepped into the house.

“Nope, you're right on time.” Kate replied.

“Good. Uh…do you need any help?” 

“If you could grab those pitchers and take them out back, that would be great.” 

McGee nodded and got to work, which meant all Kate had to do was being a few things out and they'd be all set.

“You'll tell me later.” Abby wasn't letting Kate keep the details of her relationship to herself.

“How are you doing?” Gibbs quietly asked Kate as she came out.

“Fine. It'll be fine.”

“Yeah. Burgers should be done soon.” 

“Great.”

“Breathe, Kate, you're tensed up.” 

“Can you blame me?” 

Kate sat at the table with her coworkers and listened to Tony tell a story of some frat party that involved indoor barbecuing and an almost fire. McGee looked horrified that Tony was involved in such crazy activities whereas, Kate and Ducky just shook there heads, disapproving. Abby was amused by the story occasionally adding in her own very eccentric activities from school.

“Kate, didn't you do anything wild in college? Even once?” Abby asked.

“Umm not really. I had a boyfriend who wanted to get me drunk at a party and kept handing me drinks, because I kept pretending to drink them then ditching him and when he thought I was drunk he tried to kiss me and I poured a beer on his pants and broke up with him.”

“That's not really wild.” Tony commented.

“Wait you poured the cold beer on his erection?” Abby asked, clearly amused by the grin on her face.

“Yeah! He was getting off thinking of kissing me- drunk!” Kate exclaimed defensively.  
“Good girl.” Gibbs praised her. “Food’s ready!”

“Finally!” Tony raced to the grill but Ducky grabbed his shirt collar.

“Ladies first, Anthony. They prepared all this lovely food whereas you and I just showed up. 

“It's only polite to let them go first.” Tim added.

Tony raised his eyebrows and looked at McGee, “McPoliticallyCorrect, you only want to impress Abby with your ‘generosity’.” McGee didn't bother responding.

The main conversation at the table was work as usual. Suspects, victims, bodies, forensics, the whole nine yards of their job. Kate didn't contribute much to the conversation, she was too nervous to say anything. The waiting was killing her, once everyone had eaten most of their food she'd make her announcement. Her heart was racing and she wouldn't be surprised if her coworkers could hear her heart jumping out of her chest. Abby could see Kate was extremely nervous, but she wasn't sure what to do besides whisper some encouragement.

“I have an announcement to make.” Kate stood up, feeling a tad wobbly as everyone turned to look at her and wait, “Um I’m pregnant. Almost ten weeks.” 

Kate watched as Tony, McGee, and even Ducky glanced at her to Gibbs and then back to her. They were wondering if Gibbs was the father!

“You are almost ten weeks so that would mean that you conceived the child-” Ducky started to say.

“Yes, he is the biological…father.” She managed to say and then she waited for her friends to say anything.

Abby, even though she already knew, broke the silence, “CONGRATULATIONS!! When are you due? Do you have an ultrasound picture? You're having a BABY!!” Kate was greatly appreciative of her best friend's acting skills. Abby was just repeating the same questions she'd asked after Kate’s ultrasound.

“Congratulations, Caitlin. You are due the end of April?” Ducky asked.

Kate smiled, “April 30th is my due date.” 

“Congrats, Kate.” McGee added.

Kate waited for Tony to say something, she was nervous because she couldn't read his expression very well.

“Congrats. So you're keeping it?”  
“Yes, Tony, I'm keeping her.”

“A little girl, you believe the child is? She will be quite beautiful like her mother.” Ducky grinned.

“Um, Kate, you wouldn't happen to have an ultrasound picture, would you?” McGee asked nervously.

“Of course I do. Pass it around.” Kate pulled out the picture and handed it to Tim first.

“She's beautiful, Kate. Congratulations.” McGee told her after looking at the little jellybean for a moment.

“Are you experiencing any morning sickness? Ginger is an old, wonderful remedy if you are.” Ducky informed her.

“Yep, It's mainly in the morning and early afternoon and then I'm not hungry.”

“Saltine crackers and ginger are your best bets. Make sure you are staying hydrated, that's very important. Did you know that some old wives tales say you can determine the child’s gender based on the mother’s morning sickness?”

“I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Ducky.” 

“Little baby Kate. Have you started thinking of names yet?” Abby asked happily.

“Abs, I only found out this week! Right now I'm just calling her jellybean.” 

“Jellybean?” McGee asked.

“She was jumping all over.” Gibbs finally contributed to the conversation. Kate really hoped that they'd just assume she'd told Gibbs that the baby was active not that he'd actually seen the ultrasound with her.

“Oh. Because she looks like a bean right now and is active. Little jellybean.” McGee reasoned.

“You should have seen her. She wouldn't stay still, probably more energetic than Abby and Tony combined. God, I hope she's not that active.” Kate happily told McGee.

“Nothing wrong with energy!” Abby exclaimed.

“Only when all the energy comes from sugar and caffeine from your CafPow!, my dear.” Ducky quipped.

“Gibbs brings me them!”  
“Yes, Jethro, you will not be making Caitlin work for days straight and streamlining her and the child coffee.” Ducky told Gibbs firmly.

“Course not.” 

“I won't let him. Anyhow, my doctor did recommend that I go on modified duty at 16 weeks, no getting suspects. Jellybean will be able to hear then and gunshots and explosions- probably not good for her and then around 20 or so weeks, I'll go on full desk duty.” Kate informed her colleagues.

“You can stay in the lab with me then!” 

“As long as you keep Brain Matter to a minimum.” Kate mentally winced recalling Abby’s death metal loud music that she could practically hear from the elevator in autopsy.

Eventually the conversation turned away from the baby and on to work and hobbies. Tony was exceptionally quiet and McGee seemed to be taking advantage of the senior field agent's silence. The team stayed until the sun started setting before they trickled on out, of course making sure to give her one last congratulations.   
Later that evening, Kate was curled up in the unfinished boat as Gibbs worked around her. 

“Wasn't that bad, was it?” Gibbs asked.

“No but Tony he…he was more like himself before I told them. He looked almost disgusted.” 

Gibbs sighed, “Tony probably believes that this is his fault, that he's your partner, he should have had your back.”

“But it's not. It's mine.”

“It's not your fault, Kate.” Kate shrugged as if to say ‘whatever you say’ and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. 

 

Things were awkward, tense even between Kate and Tony. The two of them tried to pretend like everything was okay, but Gibbs could see it wasn't so he was really glad when they caught a case. They'd work it out, whatever it actually was.

“We don't know if this is a sailor just that she was found in Navy housing?” Kate asked and Gibbs nodded.

“It is usually our job to figure out who the vic is, Kate.” Tony commented.

“Unload the truck.” Gibbs ordered as they pulled up to the crime scene, already full of LEOs.

As they got out their necessary equipment, Gibbs was speaking to a Lieutenant Commander, well that's what the uniform indicated.

“Ah, Special Agent Todd, McGee, DiNozzo. How long since anyone's lived in these units?” Gibbs introduced the three agents when he realized they were ready to investigate the crime scene.

“Base closed the tract five years ago. Plans were to convert it to a park. Cutbacks put it on hold. The units were becoming a security and health hazard. We brought in a private company to demo it.” Five years their victim could have been here, Kate thought. If it really has been five years since their victim was left here, there’d have to be a missing persons report.

Tony pulled Kate out of her thoughts, “When Gibbs introduced us, he introduced you, then McGee, then me. Why did he mention me last?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “You are kidding.” She hoped.

“No, for Gibbs to mix up the seniority order like that…it just, you know, it just seems weird, that's all.” 

“I really don't think it means….” McGee started to say before Tony cut him off with, “Probie?”

“I wouldn't put to much stock into it.” She assured the senior field agent.

“Why do you say that?” 

“Well, because I don't think it has anything to do with seniority.” 

“What do you think it has to do with?”

“My guess would be level of intelligence and general competence.” Kate grinned only to get a scowl from Tony.

 

As Tony annoyed McGee, Kate studied the house, observing all possible entry or escape points all while trailing some hundred feet behind Gibbs listening. Gibbs had McGee get a visual of the house with a camera and then finally they could go in.   
The house was dusty, an obvious sign it hadn't been occupied in quite some time, but other than the dust it looked completely normal.

“Boss, over here!” She heard Tony call out.

“Kate, McGee, you're with me. DiNozzo, wait for Ducky,” Gibbs ordered as he went through the trap door Tony had discovered, “Let's do it.”

In the room was indeed, like the construction workers said, a mummified woman’s body in a wedding dress. Kate was horrified, this was definitely something she never had expected to see when she started at NCIS. After somewhat regaining her composure she tagged alongside Gibbs examining the room where this woman had probably died. 

Ducky got their soon after they found the body in the bunker, or whatever this room was and they were greeted by his telling of a story of a claustrophobic classmate who died trying to overcome his fear. Kate heard Ducky saying comforting words to the body as she looked around for any evidence that might be left. 

“The Good Wife’s Guide. Ten steps to pleasing your husband.” Kate grimaced as she read the title of the book she had just found. No doubt this was some old-fashioned book with stereotypical gender roles. 

“I think I read something like that in Redbook.” McGee chimed.

“Redbook?” Tony asked, staring at the younger agent.

“Yeah.”

“You read Redbook?” 

“Yeah, all the time.” 

Kate flipped open the book and saw the publishing date- the 50’s, “Well, I don't think you read this one, McGee. It's from May, nineteen fifty five.”

“How long’s she been here, Duck?” Gibbs asked the question they all wanted to know. Was this an ice cold case or just cold?

“Oh, it’s hard to say, Jethro. Poor thing’s been dead for months.” Cold case.

“How about years?” The boss pressed on.

“Perhaps one. Not more than two.” 

“Housing’s been abandoned for five years.”

“Well, then she wasn't the last tenant.”

“Check it anyway.” And Kate gladly took that as her cue to figure out who the last tenant was and who their bride was.

Kate wasn't sure why but this case was only hours old and it was already really bothering her. The poor woman was killed and left in a wedding dress in an abandoned house for months, not that she would've known, but still.   
What if that was her? What if the body they found next was her own? Ari wanted to torture Gibbs and he had already raped her so what would stop him from killing her…and the baby. Kate protectively put her hand on her abdomen and got back to work. She couldn't think like that. No, she had to focus.

“The last tenant in that house was Lieutenant Commander Carlton Halpin, his wife and two children. Moved out January of ninety nine. Transferred to the San Diego Naval Station. As far as we can tell he's never been back.” Kate informed her colleagues once they'd all gathered back in the squad room.

“McGee?” 

“All the materials used in the construction of the bunker could have been purchased at any Lowe’s in the area.” He told Gibbs.

“DiNozzo?” Kate suppressed a laugh as she realized once again Gibbs had used the order of her, McGee, and then Tony. 

“A lot of the furniture in the room is authentic Fifties. Not my taste, but what the hell. All from various manufacturers. Nothing in production today. The way I figure it, he would have had to have collected the pieces from antique shops or garage sales.”

“What about the possibility that they were handed down from family?” Kate asked.

He glared at her and continued, “Yeah, I was getting to that. There is, of course, always the possibility that the pieces had been handed down from family members. The point is either scenario is not a road that is easily traceable. Question for you, Probie. Redbook. Why?”

Not needing to listen to Tony badger McGee, Kate and Gibbs went down to autopsy and nearly instantly she was hit with a wave of nausea. It smelled horrible- a combination of death and an overuse of cleaning supplies.

“Oh god. Are you using a new sterilizing chemical or something?” Kate asked covering her mouth.

“No, it's the same as always.” Palmer replied looking oddly at her.

“Oooh I'm gonna be sick.” Kate mumbled and rushed to the sink where she threw up the toast she'd managed to eat for breakfast. She was feeling so sick that a, she wasn't even embarrassed to be puking at work and b, she didn't notice Gibbs grab her hair. 

“Morning sickness is not kind to you, is it my dear.” Ducky commented as soon as she stood back up and wiped off her face with a wet paper towel.  
“Morning sickness?” Palmer asked confused.

“Yes, Mr. Palmer, morning sickness a common occurrence with pregnant women.” Ducky replied indirectly telling his assistant that she’s pregnant.

“OH! Congratulations, Agent Todd.” 

“Thank you. I think I'll go back upstairs.” 

As she was leaving she heard the assistant ask if the baby was the rapist’s, and now she wanted to go cry. 

The rapist’s baby, the terrorist’s baby, the serial killer’s child. Was that what they'd call her baby, his because the little jellybean is very much hers and hers only. But would that what she and the baby would be known as- the one who had the terrorist’s kid and the terrorist's baby? 

 

Kate got in the elevator and headed up to Abby's lab even though she knew it was unlikely she'd have any results so soon.

“You're her friend. I don't get it. Why she's having his baby?” Kate heard Tony ask.

“Because she loves the baby.” Abby responded.

“She loves a terrorist's kid? She's a federal agent. She can't really want to have it, can she? Why doesn't she just have an abortion problem solved?” Tony asked and Abby froze.

“Because she isn't going to kill her child, Tony. She's mine not his. All he did was give her half his DNA. I’m her mother. And yes I love my baby. It's nice knowing my partner has my back.” Kate’s voice was full of venom and if looks could kill Tony would have been killed a hundred times over. 

“Good job, Tony.” Kate could hear Abby growl as she got into the elevator. 

Her partner didn’t consider Jellybean as hers and he's her partner, the one who's supposed to have her back. She felt as if Tony had just crushed a piece of her soul. She wanted to cry, wanted to beat the hell out of him but either crying or fighting would have to wait until later. 

“We’ll be okay little one. I love you.” Kate whispered. Her hand ran across her belly as if she was comforting the baby. 

 

The team all gathered in the bull pen to go over their hours old case. “Victim is Carolyn Figgis. Petty Officer Third Class, twenty two. Went missing eighteen months ago.” Kate told Gibbs.

“ I pulled the file, Boss. It was a Pacci case. Didn't have much. She left for work one morning and poof! Gone! No witnesses. Case went cold.” Tony added and Kate ignored him.

“ Yeah, well it just got hot again.” Gibbs stated.

“ Ducky estimates she's been dead about a year. That means she was in the bunker for six months before she died.” McGee continued adding to their known facts about the dead bride.

“ That rules out the last tenants.” Tony figured.

“Kate? Tell me about our killer.” Kate was grateful for Gibbs’ question that allowed her to shed some insight on their killer.

“ The basic pathology is obvious. He was probably abused as a child. Dad beating on mom. One or both beating on him. Who knows?”

“He's trying to create the perfect relationship.” McGee very reasonably guessed.

“ That's right. Control is the name of the game.”

“This one didn't live up to his expectations.”

“Why was I sure you'd understand that part?” Underneath Kate’s usually sarcastic comments Gibbs noticed a certain amount of anger in her voice when she spoke to her partner.

“ So he cut off her air supply, left her in an airtight chamber to die, and moved on.” Gibbs added on to Kate’s profile.

“ Yeah, that's the problem. This kind of pathology is driven. He's not going to stop until he finds the perfect one.”

Gibbs gulped this wasn't their going to be their only victim. “He's playing house with somebody else out there.”

They finished updating each other on the case and assigned their duties for the case. McGee and Tony, thankfully were off to interview the victims family. 

“Kate.”

“Yes, Gibbs?”

“You alright?”

“Why?”

“May not be a profiler with a fancy degree like you but I notice things like you and Tony.”

Kate swallowed nervously, “It's no big deal.” Gibbs raised his brow and waited for her to continue on. “So maybe he was questioning how I can love the baby and why I don't ‘solve the problem’ with an abortion.” She blinked trying to keep her eyes from watering.

Gibbs’ face darkened, Kate had seen this look before. He was furious. “I'm going to kill him.” 

“Gibbs!”

“He can't just say that stuff to you!”

“Well he was actually talking to Abby and I came in at the wrong time.” Kate told him in Tony's defense.

“Still doesn't make it okay.” He growled.

“Just let me handle it. Please?”

“Fine but you tell me if he says anything else and I'll hurt him.”

“Thank you.”

“It's lunch time. Come on lets get you and little Jellybean something to eat.”


	10. Blame

“Something's off.” Gibbs stated much to Kate’s irritation.

“Gibbs, I recreated it from McGee's photos. Gibbs, everything in here was A-L-S'd. All pertinent forensic evidence was sent to Abby for analysis, and then I rebuilt it from the photos. This room and everything in it is exactly as it was when we found it.” Kate sighed as Gibbs straightened a lamp. A lamp was what was off, really?

“What is with his Fifties thing?” He was asking Kate to profile the killer.

“The Fifties represents an idealized time when the rules between men and women were simpler.” 

“This was an older guy.” 

“Actually, I think he was younger. As Tony said, a lot of the stuff in here is authentic Fifties, but a lot of it isn't. Some is Sixties. Some are reproductions. But it isn't pure.”

“He couldn't get his hands on the real deal.”

“I don't think it mattered. I think he put this room together based on his idea of a fantasy, rather than some remembrance of an ideal experience.”

“Someone who grew up with it would be more pure?”

“Well, I think he'd want be as close to what he actually experienced as possible. Plus he didn't seem to have a problem with just picking up and leaving everything behind.”

“How do we know that he didn't have to leave?”

Transferred. It's possible.”

One of the guards in the evidence garage interrupted, “Ducky said her wedding ring was removed.”

“Well, it makes sense that would be the one thing that he keeps in common from one bride to the next. You know, it might help if I could observe a re-enactment of the victim's life inside the chamber.”

“ Put someone in a wedding dress.”

“Tony would look cute.” Kate smirked. 

“Nope. Off interviewing the victim's parents.”

“Well, McGee then.” 

“No. McGee’s with Tony.”

“Abby?” Kate was running out of options.

“No, up to her tats in forensics tests.” This was his idea.

Kate grinned, “Well what about you?” There was an awkward pause, “You won't have to wear the dress.”

Gibbs stepped closer to the bed and lifted up a finger in come here motion. Kate gulped and hesitantly walked over to him then she felt the old cuffs in her wrists. Kate groaned, she knew he was up to something. 

“Gibbs!” Kate pouted very clearly annoyed, “This is not what I had in mind, Gibbs.” 

Gibbs shrugged, “You wanted a re-enactment. Re-enact.”

“I wanted to observe.”

“I'm observing.”

Kate threw her head back in exasperation before giving in. “Okay. She can make it to the toilet, but she couldn't make it to the threshold of the tunnel. I can't imagine what she must have gone through, Gibbs. How many months did she suffer before giving up and realizing she was never going to be found, that no one was ever going to hear her screams? She had nothing left to do but sit and stare at her own reflection.” 

“Hmm.”

“What?” Did he not hear anything she just said?

“The rug. The spots.” Kate’s eyes flew over to the indentations in the carpet.

“Someone was standing there over and over again.”

“Mm-mm. The pattern's wrong. It's not from a shoe or foot. It's too round - too large. She wasn't standing. She was kneeling.” 

“Enough to permanently wear an indentation in the carpet.”

The two agents looked at each other, “Praying.” They said simultaneously. 

Kate reached for the file that she'd set on the dresser, but she had forgotten she was handcuffed to the bed. Panic began to wash over her as she realized she couldn't get free and her heart started racing.

“Gibbs…Gibbs, please take them off.” Kate pleaded, her eyes wide like a doe’s. 

Gibbs took one look at Kate, who was beginning to panic and immediately un-cuffed her wrists. He mentally cursed himself for being so stupid. 

“God, Kate, I’m sorry.” 

“I'm okay. I'm fine.” Neither Kate or Gibbs were sure who she was trying to convince that she was alright. 

“God, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, Katie.” You really are an idiot, Jethro. She was raped and you cuff her! What the hell were you thinking? 

“Katie?” She tilted her head and stared at him.

“Nickname.” He shrugged.

“Typically nicknames are shorter than someone's name. Kate is four letters, Katie is five.”

“Shorter than Caitlin. Seven.” He grinned.

“Nobody calls me Caitlin.”

“Ducky does.”

“Okay no one besides Ducky calls me that.” You're lying, Kate. Ari called you Caitlin when he kidnapped you and while he raped you. 

“Kate?”

“Huh?” Gibbs had snapped her out of her dark thoughts.

“You were in your own world.”

“Yeah. I'm fine. Abby probably has something for you by now. I'm gonna get back to work.” 

Before Gibbs could say anything, Kate had already rushed out of her replica of the crime scene and into the elevator. He sighed he wanted to know what had gotten Kate upset after she'd been bickering with him. Was it him? He was the one that stupidly decided to handcuff her to the bed. 

 

“Gibbs!” Abby exclaimed as he was about to leave her lab.

“What, Abs?”  
“How’s Kate?” 

“Kate's fine.” 

“Are you sure? Because after she heard what Tony said she was really upset and she hasn't even come back to see me. Do you think she's mad at me? I know she's got to be mad at Tony. Wait, you do know what Tony said, right?” 

“I know. Abby, she's…having a hard time. She's not mad at you.”

“Okay.” The scientist didn't look convinced.

 

“Boss, flight leaves in four hours.” Tony announced across the squad room.

“Keep working the lead.”

“But the lead is in Jacksonville.” 

“Work it.” Gibbs growled as he got up out of his chair and subtly motioned with his eyes for Kate to follow him.

 

“You okay to fly?”

“I'm pregnant not an invalid.” She glared at him.

“Just making sure.” 

“That it?” 

“That's it. Abby thinks you're mad at her.”

“What?”

“Talk to her, Kate.” 

“Okay.”

“But remember we have a plane to catch!” He called after her. 

 

Kate walked into the lab where Abby’s music was blasting. Kate winced the music was actually hurting her head. Abby didn't seem to notice her so Kate walked over to the stereo and turned the volume way down.  
“Hey!” Abby spun around as soon as Kate had touched the volume.

Kate leaned back against a cabinet. “Gibbs says you think I'm mad at you?” 

“You're not?” Her friend asked tilting her head to the side.

“Why would I be?” 

“Because I let Tony talk like he did. I didn't tell him to cut it out. But Kate, I did try to reason with him you know, explain.” 

“Abby, but it's not your fault DiNozzo doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.” Kate rubbed her belly as she remembered what had been said.

“How's little Jellybean?” 

“We're good. Jellybean’s not a fan out autopsy though.” Abby smiled.

“Did Gibbs tell you that we’re headed to Jacksonville?”

“He didn't tell me, I figured it out. Remember Kate, I'm a scientist.” 

“And you can kill someone without leaving a trace of evidence.”

“I wouldn't ever kill you though. SO what's the deal with you and Gibbs? Something has changed, Kate. Spill.”

“Abby!”

“Are you dating?” Abby persisted on.

“Sure.” Kate wasn't entirely sure how to define their relationship. Somewhere along the lines of dating.

Kate grimaced as her friend shrieked quite happily and then gave her a bear hug.

“You can't tell anyone, Abs.” Kate told her as soon as she was released from the hug.

“My lips are sealed.” Abby made a zipping motion across her lips.

“Thank you. I’ll see you when we get back.” 

“Be safe!” 

 

Throughout their flight, Kate and Tony didn't say a word to each other. It was mainly Tony annoying McGee and Kate trying to get some sleep like Gibbs, who had been sleeping peacefully. Kate had begun to feel nauseous and somehow ended up slumped against Gibbs’ shoulder with him rubbing her back. She blamed the motion sickness on Jellybean, she used to be Secret Service and on Air Force One more times than she could count.

 

“You feelin’ alright, Kate?” Gibbs asked as they got off the plane.

“I don't know why they call it morning sickness when I'm nauseous now at four in the evening.” Kate complained sleepily.

“We’re gonna check in with Agent Melankovic and then I’m thinkin’ we’ll start fresh in the morning.” 

“Okay.”

 

What Gibbs deemed as “checking in” really meant a nearly three hour debriefing and discussion on their course of action. It had been eventually determined that they'd have a team search the base for thermal signatures tomorrow as, most people they’d need don't work on Gibbs’ time and had already gone home.  
Kate was beyond grateful that they had a place to stay the night on Naval housing. 

“Uh Boss, there are only two bedrooms and the couch and there are four of us.” Tony had very obviously stated.

“Gonna have to share then. Kate gets one bed.” Gibbs replied.

“What? Why does Kate automatically get a bed?” 

Kate hid a smirk as Gibbs head-smacked Tony.

“Tony, she's pregnant.” McGee answered the senior agent's question.

“Thank you, Tim. DiNozzo, I don't wanna hear any whining. You and McGee can share and I’ll take the couch.” Tony and McGee both obediently made their way to their room.

“Gibbs, we can share. The couch can't be good for your back.”

“Kate, this ain't the first time I’ve slept on the couch.” 

“You're only furthering my point. It's not good for you. Gibbs, it's not that big of a deal. How many times have you ended up in-” Kate froze she wasn't sure how to finish her thoughts. He had ended up in her bed more often than not since she'd begun staying with him, but God, it was embarrassing to admit.  
“Okay. But if you change your mind.” He had understood what she was trying to say. Good.

“You'll be the first to know.” 

They got the master bedroom. Kate had pretty much tossed her bag to the side and climbed onto the bed. She was exhausted. Gibbs had come in after Kate and found her fast asleep. He tugged the blanket from underneath her and tucked her in, kissing her forehead before he left. 

“I’m starving.” Tony complained.

“Didn't you eat on the plane?” McGee asked.

“Probie, that wasn't food.”

“We’ll go grab something to eat if you stop complaining, DiNozzo.” Gibbs growled. Tony looked up at his boss surprised.

“Of course, Boss.” 

“Where’s Kate?” McGee asked realizing she had disappeared.

“She's grabbing some sleep.” Gibbs replied casually.

 

Gibbs silently walked into their temporary bedroom. Kate was still sleeping.

“Katie, we’re going to grab something to eat.” Gibbs gently shook her trying to wake her.

“Mm tired.” Kate didn't bother opening her eyes.

“You want us to bring you something back?” 

“Sure. Kinda hungry, more tired.” 

“Alright. I'll get you somethin’ ‘kay?”

“Mkay.” Kate buried her head back into the pillow. Gibbs kissed the top of her head and headed out.

“Come on. Lets go.” Gibbs told Tony and McGee.  
“Kate ditching us?” Tony asked.

“Kate’s exhausted.” Gibbs replied giving Tony the look.

“The first and third trimesters are the most tiring. She should have more energy soon.” McGee added into the conversation.

“And you know this how?” Tony asked.

“Biomedical engineering. John Hopkins has a lot of students studying to be doctors.” 

“I see.”

Gibbs really hoped McGee was right. He hated seeing Kate so tired and not herself. Though, he wondered how much of it was the pregnancy and how much of it was the aftermath of the rape.

Gibbs suffered through dinner listening to DiNozzo blabber on to McGee about movies and girls. He wanted to be back with Kate making sure she was alright. 

Kate awoke to an unfamiliar empty setting. It was silent absolutely no sounds of life. The blankets were tucked in around her well, that wasn't anything new. Gibbs had been doing that for weeks after she'd been shivering underneath a couple blankets. As she sat up she remembered she wasn't at home err Gibbs’ house. She groaned as she got up and stretched her tense muscles.

Kate heard a car and she grabbed her sig without a thought then, she heard the door open and Tony babbling. She exhaled a sigh of relief and quickly put the gun away before anyone saw her.

“Hey sleeping beauty’s awake!” Tony announced and Kate glared at him.

“Shut up.” 

“Some one woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“TONY, SHUT UP!” Her eyes welled with tears and she ran back to the bedroom, embarrassed. 

“Whoa. What did I do?” 

Gibbs followed Kate to the bedroom where she was clutching a pillow to her chest and crying into it. He sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“I don't know what happened. I just- He was driving me crazy.” 

“It's alright.”   
“NO! No, it's not. I just yelled at a coworker for no apparent reason.”

Gibbs decided to change the subject. “Brought you back a burger.”

Kate lifted her head up and smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Go eat. You've gotta be hungry.” Kate’s stomach growled confirming Gibbs’ assumption.

 

Kate had nipped at her burger only finishing about half of it before she felt like she was going to puke if she ate anymore. She hadn't even wanted to eat that much of it but she could sense Gibbs watching her and she had to eat it…for the baby.

 

By the time Gibbs went to bed, Kate had been long asleep. He could tell by the way she was sprawled out, just a bit across the bed. When she went to bed she clutched the blankets to herself almost like she was a caterpillar wrapping itself in a cocoon, which was pretty adorable, not that he'd ever let that thought leave his mind. It was also pretty adorable how she had somehow ended up wearing his NIS sweatshirt. 

God, Jethro you're completely smitten. Abby was right now don't screw up.

 

A rumbling stomach, her own actually is what woke her up. Kate slowly moved out of the bed as not to wake up Gibbs even though the man did sleep like a rock on a carrier. He mumbled something as she slipped out of his one-armed embrace. 

Kate quietly looked through the refrigerator for something to eat, an apple. An apple with ranch dressing sounded good to her, really good. She washed off the apple and began to cut it.

“What are you doing?” Tony asked and Kate just about jumped out of her skin.

“Making myself a snack.”

“You have an apple and a thing of ranch dressing, Kate.”

“Yeah.”

“Ranch isn't supposed to go on apples.”

“Well it’s going on this one.”

“Okay.” Tony sat down at the table and watched her.

“Do you need something?” Kate was beginning to get annoyed.  
“Well…I um…kind of need to apologize.” He stuttered.

“Rule 6.”

“I guess I'm going to break it then. There's probably an exception. Kate, I’m sorry. Really sorry for being an insensitive asshole. I shouldn't have suggested that you abort even if you weren't there. Abby and McGee knocked some sense into me. Yeah, McGee.” 

“So why did you?”

“Kate, you're my partner. My partner! I screwed up big time. I’m supposed to have your back and I didn't. I should've looked out for you better, should've been more aggressive in trying to catch the son of a bitch before he hurt you again. I failed, Kate. It’s my fault you were raped. I should've…should’ve done something!” Kate had never seen Tony look so hurt and crying.

“You're forgiven, Tony. But listen to me it's not your fault! How were you supposed to know that he’d. God, Tony you're an idiot.” Kate began crying too and Tony got up and hugged her. 

“I'm real sorry, Kate.” He apologized again as he held her tightly.

“Is that Gibbs’ shirt?” Tony asked as he let go of her and she went back to eating her apple slices with ranch dressing.

“Mhmm.” 

“Huh, so you and Gibbs are…?”

“Don't go there, DiNozzo.” She glared at him.

“Alright. Going back to bed. Sleep well, Kate. I’m sure Gibbs will make sure of that.” Tony winked at her.

“Go!” 

“On it boss!” He mock saluted her and she stifled a laugh as he disappeared into the dark hallway.


	11. Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who actually read this and I think there are a few of you, I apologize for the long wait. June was the month of graduation and chaos as my mom had major emergency surgery. Read on.

 

Gibbs had returned from his caffeine dealer as Kate once had referred to the diner as. Kate hadn't made her way downstairs yet so he decided to go get her.

He knocked on the door to Kate's room. "Kate, I've got your tea." No response. "Kate? You okay?" He listened closely and could hear crying. He opened the door and found Kate crying and a couple pairs of pants thrown off the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"They don't fit! I can't fit into my own clothes, Gibbs!" Gibbs held in a laugh as he had learned to do many years ago with Shannon. He was really glad that she was crying about clothes and not anything more serious.

"Maybe Abby could drop off something for you to wear?"

"I'm pretty sure I have a dress or two that will fit. I'm getting fat!"

"Katie, you're pregnant." He said softly.

"I'll be down in a second." She dismissed him and dug into the closet to find a looser dress. She hadn't expected to need to buy maternity clothes so quickly. She dug out a purple dress that was somewhere between a sundress and church dress that had always hung a little loose on her. It fit. Kate was relieved but she'd need to go buy some new clothes soon.

She looked down at her belly and rubbed the small very subtle bump that she had noticed when she'd gotten up. Her baby was growing.

As Kate emerged down the steps, Gibbs tried to figure out what was different about her. Something was definitely different about her and it wasn't that she was no longer crying and then it hit him. She was glowing and a very small, barely noticeable bump protruded from her abdomen.

"Ya look beautiful."

"Really?" Her voice was filled with doubt.

"You're glowin'." He caught a slight smile on her face as she turned away from him to pick up her tea.

  
"Did you get a haircut?" Tony asked Kate trying to figure out what was different about her.

"No."

Tony smirked, "You get some last night?"

"NO!"

"Tony, do you really not notice?" McGee made his way into their bickering.

"Of course I know that's why I'm trying to guess." The senior field agent replied with a roll of his eyes.

"She's got the pregnancy glow, Tony. Haven't you ever been around a pregnant woman before?" Kate laughed at Tony's shocked reaction to McGee getting the upper hand in this conversation.

"Quiet. I'm trying to do work." Tony muttered and the two other agents smirked.

An IM bubble popped up on Kate's screen.

**T_McGee: He can't stand losing, can he?**

**K_Todd: No. Thanks for the rescue.**

**T_McGee: No problem. How are you doing?**

**K_Todd: Fine. Thanks.**

**T_McGee: It's probably none of my business but I was reading up on sexual assaults and found that lots of women say talking to someone helped them....**

**K_Todd: You better not mention a word of what I'm about to tell you to anyone especially Tony or I will castrate you.**

**T_McGee: Okay.**

**K_Todd: I may or may not have an appointment with a therapist.**

**T_McGee: Good for you :) . I promise you won't have to castrate me.**

**K_Todd: Thank you.**

 

"I want reports from the Figgs case on my desk by the end of the day." Gibbs ordered as he walked across the squad room to his desk.

"Just what I was doing." Tony replied and Gibbs gave him a doubtful look.

 

"Abby, there's no way in hell that Gibbs is going to allow this!" Kate protested.

"You don't have a case and we'll be close by! He'll say yes!" Her friend insisted.

"We can go tomorrow after work."

Abby tilted her head and gave her friend a look. "And tomorrow you're going to freak out because you don't have any clothes that fit and then you'll get a case and have to go out in the middle of the ocean! Please please please, Kate! We can get cute baby things too!"

"Fine! You're asking Gibbs."

"Asking me what?"

"Gibbs! Kate needs new clothes because she's pregnant and that you already knew, but we don't have a case and she's finished her reports for you and we won't go that far and we'll be reachable-"

"Go."

"What?" Kate asked while Abby signed something excitedly to Gibbs.

  
"Okay. What do we need to get first?"

"Pants. I have t-shirts that are loose enough that they won't suffocate me, but no pants."

"So underwear too?"

"You're not helping me with that."

"We'll see about that."

  
"So what's going on with you and Gibbs?" Abby asked as Kate tried on clothes.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked feigning innocence.

"You know what I mean."

Kate walked out of the dressing room with a small pile of clothes in her arms.

"He's...sweet. Protective. I think little Jellybean's got him wrapped around her finger already."

"Awe. So anything else happening between you?" Abby grinned.

"No."

"No kissing?" Abby looked surprised.

"He kisses me on the cheek."

"Hm."

"What?"

"Nothing. Oh look is that a little sailor outfit?" Abby rushed over to the baby clothes and Kate laughed.

"Look how tiny they are, Kate! Oh this is so cute!" Abby squealed holding up a little sundress.

"Abby, you can get one thing! One!" Kate knew an excited Abby meant this could take a long time.

"Okay, mom." Abby stuck her tongue out at her friend.

 

  
"Oh my god, Kate! St-ahp!" Tony complained.

"What's your problem." Kate hissed back.

"The tapping! Stop it!" He threw his hands up and Kate looked down at her hand to see that she was unconsciously tapping her fingers against her desk.

"Deal with it. I'll be outta here in a couple minutes."

This peeked Tony's interest. "You're leaving early? You have a date? Is that what you and Abby went shopping for?"

"I do not have a date and even if I did it would be any of your business."

"Well you and Gibbs did share that room over the weekend and you were wearing his clothes so if you two are dating it would be my business, because can't have the Boss playing favorites, Katie-Cat."

"Don't call me that." Kate hissed as she picked up her purse and headed to the elevator.

"Getting in?" Gibbs asked as the doors opened.

"Yes. Why are you hanging out in the elevator?"

"Waiting for you. You sure you don't want me to give you a ride?"

"I'll be fine." Who she was convincing, herself or Gibbs she really didn't know.

Gibbs nodded and kissed her cheek. Kate smiled shyly at him as she stepped out of the elevator.

  
"Caitlin?" A woman called and Kate stood up. The woman held out her hand, "I'm Sarah. It's nice to meet you, Caitlin. Do you prefer Caitlin or something else?"

"Kate. Everyone calls me Kate."

Sarah gestured for Kate to enter her office, "Have a seat."

Kate sat down and studied the room. It was pastel blue with a desk, a bookshelf, and a table. Simple and comfortable is what she was probably aiming for.

"So, Kate, what brings you here?"

Kate gulped and looked down at the floor. "I...I was...a man he um forced himself on me...and I uh...now I'm pregnant." Her hand covered her stomach.

"When did this happen?"

"August...August 4th early in the morning. I'd just gotten home from work."

"How have you been coping?" Sarah asked gently.

Kate paused to think about the question. How had she been coping? Was she even coping with it?

"I don't know I guess I haven't. I can't sleep without seeing his face. I force myself to eat for the sake of the baby. His face, his voice...I- I can always feel him." Tears welled up in Kate's eyes and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"I'm so sorry to hear everything you've been through. You're a cop, right?"

"Federal agent. Started in the Secret Service on the presidential detail then I resigned two years ago and started at NCIS."

"Secret Service?" Sarah's eyes widened.

Kate laughed a little, "Yeah Secret Service. I know it's a shock. No one ever suspected me of being in the line of fire for the president. That's what part of what made me valuable."

"Wow. Um what was I going to say...oh yeah. Your coworkers do they know what happened? Do you have support at work?"

"Yeah they all know. They um actually investigated my...rape, because it was obviously a crime against an NCIS special agent. I've been staying with Gibbs, my boss and we have an...unique relationship. He's been really good to me. Abby and McGee too. Tony's...coming to terms about the baby. You see, Tony's my partner and um he feels a bit guilty for what happened. Gibbs too. Especially since we've been after this guy since he held me, Ducky, and Gerald hostage in autopsy."

"Gibbs is your boss but you two are involved?"

"Sort of. We're not sleeping together or really intimate or anything like that. We're just going really slow."

"I see. And who is everyone else you mentioned?"

Kate continued on telling her about her coworkers and friends and they discussed ways to help her cope. And after all that Kate was exhausted.

As Kate pulled up in the driveway another car backed out. Kate walked towards the front door and there was Gibbs holding the door opened for her with a bag of food in his hand.

"Hey." Kate greeted him.

"Got Chinese."

"I can see that. Did you get my-"

"Healthy Chinese take out stuff? Yep."

"Thank you." Kate, feeling a bit affectionate kissed his cheek. He turned around and stared at her for a minute, surprised.

"It go well?"

"Yeah I guess as good as therapy can go."

"Huh. You feeling okay?" Gibbs asked noticing her eyelids drooping and how the circles under her eyes looked much darker.

"Just tired." Kate yawned.

"Finish eating and you're going to bed."

Kate rolled her eyes, "That was the plan except I had a shower in between finish eating and sleeping."

"Don't need my permission."

"It is your house."

"It is?" Gibbs teased and Kate glared.

"I'm going to shower."

"Now you're not asking permission."

"You just said I don't need permission."

"Yup."

"God, Gibbs, how does anyone put up with you?"

"Don't know but you do pretty well." He gave her a boyish smile and she shook her head amused as she headed up the stairs.

 

 

  



	12. Morning sickness extreme

  
Kate punched the punching bag over and over again with all her strength. She was mad and tired and upset. She'd barely gotten any sleep because at first she was just plain uncomfortable then she had woken up sweating and crying from a nightmare and finally she'd had to pee really bad. And on top of that, she was really hungry. She'd barely been able to keep down half a piece of toast.

"You want me to hold that?" Kate spun around ready to fight only to find it was Tony.

"Do whatever you'd like." She muttered.

Tony seemed to take a step back before holding the punching bag as Kate ruthlessly hit it not caring how sore her knuckles were getting.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"No."

"Gibbs know you're here at oh six hundred?"

"No." She hit the bag harder, mad at herself for being so weak that she hadn't even gone back to her apartment yet.

"Okay. I'll shut up."

Kate punched and kicked the punching bag until she wasn't sure how much more she or Tony could take.

"Remind me never to get on your bad side." Tony said looking like he'd had the wind knocked out of him.

Kate cracked a smile, "I try but you don't listen. See you later, Tony."

  
Beating the hell out of something made her feel just a tiny bit better so did seeing Tony so stunned but she still felt like crap. She sat in her car contemplating whether to go home- Gibbs' house or just drive around. She'd been enough of a burden on Gibbs for the past few months so she decided to drive around.

After an hour or so of driving aimlessly around, Kate found herself parked in front of her apartment building. She felt numb and almost like she had no control of her actions as she got out of the car and entered the building.

"Miss Todd, it's been quite a while. How are you?" The doorman, Tom an older man asked her.

"Hey Tom. I'm doing alright. How are your grandchildren?" Kate asked hoping to get the spotlight off of her.

"Hannah's going to be one next month and my goodness Ryan is faster than a race car. I wore myself out trying to chase him. That boy's gonna be an athlete." Tom grinned and then he noticed Kate's hand protectively on her belly. "What about your little one?"

Kate froze, she didn't realize that it was obvious she was pregnant. "Um well I'm only 12 weeks, but uh she's healthy and squirming around."

"Ah. Good. Good. You let me know if you need anything."

"Of course. I'll see you later." Kate forced a smile and made her way to the elevator and prayed she wouldn't see anyone else.

  
She gulped hard and unlocked the door to her apartment. She shivered as she walked in not because it was cold but because of the memories last time she'd been here. There was a brownish stain in the hallway from when she'd shot the bastard and as she made her way into the bedroom, for the first time she saw all the damage that had been done during the struggle. She bent down and picked up a book that she had been reading at the time. There was glass from a shattered lamp on the ground and she wondered how she hadn't stepped on it. Various items like pictures and clothes were scattered on the floor. Her bed had been stripped and her mattress had been cut up.

Tears fell from her eyes and she fell down on her knees. How could this be her home? He'd destroyed her place. Could she ever live here again knowing that right here was where he'd held her at gunpoint and raped her? A loud sob escaped her lips and she pushed herself back up against the wall and let herself cry.

Kate could just _feel_ him, his presence still lingering around in her house and on her. The bastard had destroyed everything. Her life, her home, her happiness. She sobbed harder.

  
Kate wasn't aware of how much time had passed when she heard someone open the door. She reached for her gun and shakily she pointed it at the doorway.

"Whoa! Kate, it's me. Put the gun down." Gibbs approached her and she let him take the gun from her.

"What are you doing here?" Kate whispered, her voice raspy from crying.

"Looking for you. God, Kate I was worried. Thought something'd happened to you." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest while he used his free hand to run his hand through her hair as she cried.

"Why? Why me, Gibbs? Why'd he rape me?" For once he didn't have an answer just pulled her closer.

 

"I can't go back." Gibbs turned around to look at Kate. She hadn't spoken a single word since they'd come back home to his house. "I can't go back there. I just can't, Gibbs. I'm going to have to move and oh shoot by the time I find a new place I'll probably be really pregnant and I'll have to set up a nursery. But I can't go back not there, not where he raped me....God, what am I going to do?"

"Move in with me." He said calmly. He liked her presence and she essentially was already living with him.

"What?"

"Like havin you around, Katie. You've been staying here since...then and you basically live here. Just get the rest of your stuff. We'll figure out what to keep and what to get rid of."

Kate thought she must have been dreaming. "You want me to move in with you?"

"Shit. This was bad timing. Yes - I just think about it. Don't have to decide today or hell even this month."

"I'll think about it but if I say yes I'm just going to burden you."

"You wanna pay rent?" Gibbs joked.

"Yes! Anything that won't make me feel completely useless."

"Not payin' rent but I'm sure we could figure something out."

Kate raised her eyebrows, "I'm not sleeping with you."

"You already do." He did enjoy having her in his arms, comforting her as they slept.

"Okay let me rephrase that I'm not having...sex with you." At least not now she added in her head.

"Wouldn't ask ya to."

"Okay so then what arrangements are we talking about?"

"Well you make really good desserts." He grinned like a Chesire cat.

"Play housewife?" Kate teased.

"Huh, why not? You've already got the baby." He teased back and Kate's eyes widened then, she began to laugh at the ridiculousness of the conversation.

"Did you, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs just make a really bad joke?"

"Gotta sense of humor ya know."

"That could be debatable." Kate smirked and Gibbs rolled his eyes at her.

"That's not nice." She muttered.

"Get back to drawing, Secret Service." He muttered back at her and she groaned at the nickname.

  
Kate drew for a while occasionally glancing over at Gibbs who was very focused on his boat before realizing she'd become hungry.

"I'm going to make lunch since you like my cooking so much."

"What are you making?"

"I think there are some frozen chicken breasts in the freezer unless you cooked them."

"If you didn't touch 'em, I certainly din't."

Kate shook her head. "And you say you can cook."

"I can," He protested before giving her a lopsided grin and telling her, "But you cook better."

Kate flipped the chicken on the skillet that had somehow appeared in the house since her arrival. She searched through the cupboards, that were now along with most of the kitchen stocked with food for spices. Honestly, how did Gibbs stay in such great shape with his diet consisting of coffee, takeout, more coffee, steak, and even more coffee?

The kitchen filled with the smell of onion and unappealing chicken and Kate felt a rush of nausea come upon her. She turned off the stove as she put one hand over her mouth and rushed to the bathroom.

  
Gibbs didn't think chicken took nearly an hour to cook and well if it did shouldn't he at least smell it by now? Filled with worry that something happened to Kate, he ran up the stairs and found the stove turned off with semi cooked chicken still on the skillet. His heart was racing. Could Ari have gotten her? No, she had to be here.

"Kate?!" He called out panicked and was relieved when he heard her weakly reply, "Bathroom." Followed by a gagging cough.

He was extremely relieved to find her kneeling next to the toilet bowl but his worries returned when he saw how pale she looked and her red eyes.

"You okay?" _Wow, Jethro, of course she's not okay. She's puking her guts out!_

"Just peach-" She leaned over and threw up and then slumped back down.

"Do ya need me ta do anythin'?"

"Can you get rid of this morning sickness so I can eat? 'M hungry."

"Been throwing up a lot lately, Katie....Don't they have some medicine for morning sickness? Could try that, right?"

"I have for the past week. Oh god-" She threw up just water a few times before she weakly fell back against him. He rubbed her back as he tried to figure out what to do. She looked like hell and he was pretty sure that throwing up until there was absolutely nothing left to throw up wasn't normal.

"I'm calling Ducky." Kate just barely nodded.

  
Ducky came over immediately and for that Gibbs was extremely thankful. Kate was slumped on the floor next to the toilet now with her eyelids drooping.

"Ducky's here." He said before entering.

"How are you feeling, my dear?" Ducky asked.

"Like hell." Kate croaked.

"You do look like it. Jethro says you're not able keep anything down."

"No. Been puking my guts out too many times to count."

"When was the last time you ate a meal and kept it down?"

Kate shrugged honestly unsure of when her stomach actually kept the food down. A day or so, she'd guess.

"Caitlin, you need to go to the hospital. Jethro, she needs fluids. Look how pale and weak she is."

"Kate, what do you think?"

"Just wanna feel better." She whined.

"Hospital is."

"I will drive you. Jethro, you help Caitlin to the car."

 

Gibbs watched as Kate slept in the hospital bed with an IV in her arm. She had fallen asleep almost immediately after she'd been admitted to the hospital after spending hours in the emergency room. Her right hand rested on the small baby bump while her left hand clutched the thin blanket close.

"Gibbs! How is Kate?"

"Ssh, Abs. She's sleeping."

"Oops. How is she?" Abby whispered.

"Doing better. Got some more color in her. Still tired and nauseous."

"Abby?" Kate croaked.

"Kate! When Ducky said you were in the hospital I was so worried! I brought a gift!"

"I'm fine. Just a bit dehydrated."

"That's an understatement." Gibbs mumbled.

"What was that?" Kate asked sweetly.

"Nothing. I'm going to get coffee."

"You two are so cute! I've waited way too long for this." Abby squealed.

"For me to be in the hospital?" Kate teased and Abby swatted her arm.

"You know that's not what I meant. Anyhow, open your present!" Abby thrusted a small gift bag into her lap.

"Okay," Kate pulled the gift out of the bag and began laughing, "Jellybeans?"

"You and Jellybean need to eat so here you go! Jellybeans!"

"Thank you, Abby."

"Tony and McGee are going to stop by tomorrow. They would never admit it but they were hounding Ducky for answers about you. No joke. Oh I have to call them and tell them that you're fine or they might start bothering Gibbs and he doesn't like being interrupted when he's with you." Abby raised an eyebrow and Kate blushed.

"Maybe he just doesn't like people bugging him about his personal life."

"That's true but he loves me. I mean not that way he loves you that's totally different. He looks at you like he wants to-"

"Abby, don't!"

"I'm just saying, Kate."

"Just saying what to Kate?" Gibbs asked appearing in the doorway.

"Gibbs! I'd love to stay and chat some more but looks like Kate should get some more rest. See ya!" And she bounced out of the room.

"How's the coffee?"

"Crap."

"You can go home, Gibbs."

"Could but I'm not goin to."

"Gibbs." She narrowed her eyes.

"Katie, not leavin ya."

"Then don't complain about the coffee."

"I'm not. You asked how it was."

Kate yawned, "I'm tired."

"Sleep."

"I've already slept too much."

"Kate, you're pregnant, dehydrated and exhausted. Sleep." He told her firmly before kissing the top of her head.

"Stay?" It was half demand half question.

"Of course. Sleep, Katie."

"Think 'at maybes I will move in wit you."

"We can talk later. Go to sleep."

True to his word when Kate woke up that morning as in actually woke up on her own not because someone had to check her vitals Gibbs was exactly where he'd been when she'd fallen asleep. She couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not. The man was able to fall asleep on a carrier but he also could wake up if he heard a feather drop and still act as if he was asleep.

Kate carefully swung her legs over the side of the bed, one hand still protectively resting on her belly and clutched onto the side of the bed.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

"Going to the restroom?"

"By yourself?"

"That's typically how these things go."

"Typically, Kate. Not when you're clutching onto the rail for your life."

"I'm fine."

Gibbs ignored her protests as usual and held onto her making sure that she didn't fall. He worried about her and he couldn't bear to let anything else happen to her. He was slowly coming to realize that he was completely in love with her - more so in love than he thought he was.

"You there, Gibbs or should I walk those 15 feet alone?" She sassed, pulling him from his thoughts.

"I've got ya." He wrapped his arm around her waist and as she untangled herself from the wires attached to the IV he leaned in and kissed her.

Kate's eyes widened, surprised but she kissed him back. The way he was kissing her was so firm and gentle and it was like he was savoring it. His lips tasted like coffee, strong marine grade coffee and she liked it...a lot. He was looking at her like she was the only thing in the world and she was completely melting on the inside.

"God, Kate." He breathed not taking his eyes off of her and she blushed. "That was...wow."

She couldn't help it, "That's what they all tell me." Gibbs laughed clearly remembering when he'd told her that on the submarine.

  
Anything further of a moment they could have had was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Can we come in?" Tony asked.

"I suppose." Kate replied and Tony came in with McGee following behind him.

"How are you feeling?" McGee asked.

"Ehh I'm feeling better. Not so nauseous."

"You don't look too good." Tony commented.

"If you saw her yesterday you'd think she looks much better." Gibbs added in her defense.

"Gee, a girl loves it when you talk about how bad she looks." Kate glared at her partner.

"Well you have been here like what, three times in three months?" Kate and Gibbs both glared at the senior field agent who promptly shut up.

"Jellybean hasn't been much of a fan of food or drinks these past couple of days." Kate insisted.

"Jellybean is - are those jellybeans over there?" Tony pointed to the bad of jellybeans on the table next to the bed.

"No, they're tofu wraps. Abby brought them." Kate saw McGee smirk as Tony just rolled his eyes back at her.

"Weird." Tony mumbled.

"It's funny."

"It's very Abby." McGee added.

"See, Tim agrees with me."

"You all bicker. I'm going to get coffee." Gibbs announced.

"I'll come with!" Tony exclaimed and Gibbs shrugged.

"You want anything, Katie?" Gibbs asked accidentally letting the nickname slip which got her looks from both coworkers.

"Chai tea, please."

"We'll be back. McGee, keep an eye on her."

"Yes, Boss."

  
"Uh - so how long are you going to be here for?"

"The nurse mentioned something about me getting to go home later today, but it depends if Jellybean decides she doesn't want any liquids or food again."

"And the baby's good?"

"Baby's great." Kate rubbed her still mainly flat belly.

"That's good."

"How's your shooting?"

"What?"

"How are your shooting skills? In need of some more practice?"

"Yeah, a bit."

"Friday after work you and me shooting range." He looked at her dumbfounded.

"Tim, before we know it I'm gonna be stuck on desk duty and then I'll be on maternity leave. You're still the probie and you're gonna have to step up when I'm out so while I still can I'm gonna help."

"Uh Agent To - Kate are you sure?"

"Do I sound sure?"

"Yes."

 

"Is Kate really okay?" Tony asked as he and Gibbs walked over to the coffee shop.

"She will be."

"But she's not now."

"Doing better but no." Gibbs replied honestly giving away as little information as he could. There was some stuff that he could say but he respected Kate's privacy.

"That fucking bastard deserves a slow, painful death when we get him."

"And he'd still be getting off too damn easy." Gibbs hissed.

  
Gibbs and Tony came back with coffee and tea for Kate, which she eagerly sipped. Tony and McGee stayed for about a half hour more and then left for the office but more before Gibbs could give Tony a 'you're in charge, don't screw up' mini talk.

  
"Where were we before they came?" A slight pink color formed on Kate's cheeks.

"I kissed you."

"Yup."

Gibbs remembered Kate's talking about moving in with him as she was falling asleep. "Have you thought about ya know moving in with me?"

"Yes." Kate grinned.

"Yes, you've thought about it or yes, you're going to move in."

"Yes, to both. It's logical and well you did kiss me. I have been living with you for the past three months and I can't go back to the apartment." She shivered at the thought of returning. "And wait, is this like a permanent offer or just until...?"

Gibbs grinned and he leaned in and kissed her again. He looked into her chocolate eyes and hoped that she'd be able to decipher his answer. He ran his thumb over her cheekbone and her eyes sparkled.

"That answer your question?"

"Yeah." She was blushing and it was beautiful. No, beautiful was an understatement she was absolutely gorgeous.

"Good."

 


	13. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate becomes the owner of a dog and moves in with Gibbs.

"I don't know if that's considered taking it easy, Kate." 

"It's just shooting! I'm going to the range and I'm going to help McGee sharpen his skills." Kate protested.

"McGee?" Gibbs asked. Kate had left out that piece of information.

"Yes. Is that a problem?" Kate glared.

"No. Guess not. Have fun? Be careful, Katie." Worry flashed across his eyes.

"I'll be fine. I promise." Kate told him, stepping into his personal space.

"Okay." He agreed and kissed her soft lips.

 

Kate arrived at the range and found McGee already waiting.

"Good morning, McGee. Have you been waiting long?"

"Morning. I uh just got here."

"Liar." 

"You need to work in your lying skills, McGee. But for now we'll stick to shooting. Show me what you've got." Kate pulled the ear protection on.

McGee glanced nervously at Kate who nodded before he began to shoot. He was a pretty good shot he just seemed to lack confidence.

"I'm impressed." Kate looked at the center groupings on the target. "Now, let's see how you do with a bit further of a distance." 

Kate, unholstered her own gun and went to the station next to McGee. She placed one hand protectively on her belly before shooting her own target. It'd been a while since she'd fired her gun in fact she hadn't since that night. When her clip was empty and she took off the ear protection she turned around to find McGee staring at her target.

"Wow." 

"Let's see how you did." He didn't get as many good shots as he did the first time, but for a probie she was slightly impressed. 

"Focus on your target, McGee. You can't hesitate. Hesitating could get you killed. Do it again." Kate ordered.

The second time McGee did better getting more groupings on the target. 

"Better. We can pick this up next week."

"Next week?" McGee asked surprised.

"Next week and the following week. Can't be shooting after that." Kate rested her hand on her belly.

McGee looked confused for a second and then the lightbulb went off. "You'll be 16 weeks then and that's when the baby can begin to hear, right?" 

"Yeah. Don't want to do anything that could potentially harm her." 

"That makes sense." 

 

"Probie, where have been? You're late so are you Kate." Tony said when he saw his coworkers get off the elevator.

"Uh we were at the range." McGee replied.

"'We? As in you and Kate?" 

"Yes, Tony. I was helping McGee improve his shooting skills."

"What's Gibbs think about this?" He raised his brow suggestively.

"I think my senior field agent should have been the first one to offer to help McGee train." Gibbs gave Tony a head slap on his way to his desk.

Kate grinned at Tony and he glared at her.

"Well, what're you waiting for, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Uh..." Tony paused.

"Gas the truck." Gibbs told him as if it was obvious.

"I knew that." He scurried off.

"McGee, get Ducky."

"What am I telling him, Boss?"

"We have a dead Marine in Shenandoah River State Park. Come on! Let's go!" He urged both Kate and McGee.

"No special job for me?" Kate asked as the two of them stepped into the elevator.

He grinned and then leaned closer to her to kiss her lips. It was quick but passionate and made Kate's cheeks turn red. 

"Am I forgiven?" 

"I suppose I can forgive you." Kate grinned looking at the ground.

"Good cause I'd hate for you to be mad at me cause then I wouldn't be able to do this." His lips brushed against hers "anymore." He grinned boyishly at her and walked out of the elevator.

 

"Looks like he was eaten for breakfast." Tony commented at the very bloody and mangled body. Kate felt nauseous and ran to the bushes. 

Don't get sick. Don't puke at a crime scene. Kate, this isn't even the worst body you've seen.

"Caitlin, are you alright?" Ducky asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. The body it's - been scavenged." 

"Ah pregnancy. It makes you feel quite queasy to the simplest of things though I suppose most pregnant woman don't see bodies often. But my point is it makes things you don't blink at turn to something that makes you sick. Go, get some fresher air. I'm sure Jethro would not mind your help interviewing the witnesses my dear."

"Thanks Ducky."

"It was no trouble. Now Mr. Palmer, what do we have here..." 

 

"What happened?" Kate asked Gibbs.

"Thought you were looking at the scene."

"It's...gruesome." 

"You're a special agent, aren't you? Don't you see these things often?" 

"I'm pregnant and who are you?" Kate snapped.

"He's a park ranger. This is Agent Todd." 

"Nice to meet you, miss. I was just telling Agent Gibbs that Sergeant William Moore must have lost his footing and fell to his death. It happens."

"Uh huh. Where are the witnesses? We need to talk to them."

"Mrs. Moore and Sergeant Caine are right over there. If you'll follow me."

"Feeling better?" Gibbs whispered.

"Yeah."

"Boss, I found the camcorder!" McGee yelled holding it up.

Gibbs nodded approving of the younger agent's work.

"Mrs. Moore, Sergeant Caine we're sorry for your loss." Kate said sympathetically.

"We found his camcorder. He was filming?" Gibbs asked.

"He was obsessed with the stupid camera. I gave it to him on his birthday. Maybe if he hadn't, he wouldn't have slipped." Mrs. Moore told them.

"Anybody else at this campsite while you were here?" 

"No, Sir. Just the drunk. He was nothing to worry about. He was in a trailer over there. Scruffy guy. He was drinking too much. He got loud. We asked him to keep it down." Sergeant Caine informed them. Possible suspect Kate thought.

"He didn't keep it down?" 

"No, Sir. So we went over there and tried to reason with him. That's when he took a swing."

"You took a swing back?" She interjected. 

"No, Ma'am. Bill put him in a head-lock 'til he calmed down and then he just took off." 

"I don't suppose you got a license number?" Gibbs asked though they both knew the answer would be no.

"No, point, Sir. The guy was harmless."

"Bill spends eight months in Iraq and dies filming a sunrise in Virginia." The wife said sorrowfully.

"Thank you. We'll let you know if we have any further questions." Kate told the two before her and Gibbs walked off.

"Still feelin' okay?" 

"I'm fine. It was just the body." 

"You let me know if you're not. K?" He put a hand on her shoulder and she nodded.

She felt all warm and fuzzy knowing he cared - loved? And a slightly bit annoyed. She could take care of herself, but still Gibbs protective of her made her smile.

"Sergeant William Moore, transferred from Camp Lejeune to Quantico two months ago. He was serving as an E-I for all newly commissioned Marine Officers." Kate stated while Gibbs was in either the lab or autopsy.

"E.I.?" McGee asked.

"Enlisted instructor, Probie." Tony answered.

"Uh... what did he teach, Kate?"

"Well, according to his records, MOUT." 

"MOUT stands for military operations..."

"Yes, I know what it stands for, Tony." McGee interrupted.

"Well, excuse me for trying to help junior agents!"

"Trust me, when I need help you will be the first person I ask...where Gibbs or Kate is." Tony laughed and Kate hid a smirk.

"Are you two done?" Kate was beginning to feel agitated.

"For the moment." Tony informed her.

"These are the last two people to have seen our Sergeant alive. His best friend, and his wife." 

"Hey!" McGee shouted and Kate spun around.

"Now I'm done. Continue." Tony told her earning a glare.

"Do you think that one or both of them could have murdered the Sergeant?" She pondered.

"Well it is kind of weird a single guy hanging out with a married couple." Tony stated like it was obvious.

"I agree." Kate looked funny at McGee

"Why is that?" She wanted to know.

"Well, because he's a single guy hanging out with married people." Tony told her.

"I do that all the time." 

"Yeah, but you bring a date, right?"

"Not... always." She was beginning to feel real awkward.

"Are you related to them?" McGee prompted.

"No," Both men stared at her, "What?"

"Well, who usually invites you ...?" Tony asked.

McGee clarified, "The man or the woman?"

"I don't know, I guess usually the guy. Okay, a lot of my friends are from the Secret Service, and most of them happen to be men."

"What about your ... girlfriend who called yesterday morning?" Tony asked clearly remembering the discussion Kate had had about sex.

"Well, Deb is married to one of my buddies, Rick." Tony and McGee laughed and Kate gave them her best Gibbs stare. "Okay, so what you're trying to say is that all of my married male friends secretly want to sleep with me?" Please let this conversation end.

"Pretty much. Yeah." Tony grinned. 

"That's very mature, Tony. And for your information, men and women can just be friends. Isn't that right, McGee?"

Both of her coworkers giggled again. "Technically." McGee told her.

"What do you mean technically"

"He means she'd have to be pretty ugly first." Tony added and they both laughed. 

"I didn't say that." McGee protested.

"I swear I do not get paid enough for this." Kate groaned.

"For what, Kate?" Gibbs who had appeared out of nowhere asked.

"Nothing. We are just discussing potential suspects." 

"Focusing on the Sergeant's wife and best friend, Boss." Tony informed their boss.

"Yeah. Well, come on. We've got one more." Gibbs told them and for the millionth time Tony and McGee giggled.

"You guys are four years old, honestly." Kate snapped. 

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Tony muttered.

"Tony! Shut up!" Kate exclaimed angrily. 

"Hey hey. What's going on?" Gibbs asked as the two of them walked into the elevator.

"They're being immature jerks!" And with that Kate began crying. Gibbs hit the emergency brake and pulled her into his chest and let her cry out whatever she needed.

"I hate these hormones!" Kate hiccuped when her tears subsided. He laughed softly and kissed her cheek, making her smile. 

They eventually made it in to the lab somehow at the same time as Tony and McGee. They found Abby wearing a decorated plastic hat or something. Kate wasn't too sure. 

Abby had the videotape fixed for them to watch. Moore had been assaulted by the guy who they'd asked to turn down the music. Just like their witnesses said. Their mystery guy also threatened to kill Moore.

"We need to I.D. this guy." Gibbs looked at them.

"Oh, I'm way ahead of you, Gibbs. I got a shot of the license plate. It is registered to a David Runion. His last address is an R.V. campground in Manassas. He's since moved." Abby announced happily.

"Find him. That's good work, Abby. Tony, head back to Shenandoah State Park. Take McGee." 

"For what exactly, Boss?" Tony wanted to know. 

"I want to know where the Sergeant was killed before he was tossed off that cliff."

"Oh. Get the sedan ready, Probie. I'll meet you out front." Tony left leaving McGee behind.

"So Kate, you really like my hat?"

Kate hesitated. "Uh... it's different."

"Cool, because I made you one!"

"Abby, I don't know what to say."

"Put it on!"

"Okay." She gave McGee a hesitant look before putting it on and then McGee handed Abby a 20 dollar bill.

"She bet me twenty bucks that she could make you wear that today." McGee groaned and walked out.

"Your cut." Abby handed Kate a 10. 

"Pleasure doing business with you, Abs." Kate grinned.

"Totally." Abby smiled waving her half of the "deal". 

 

"You and Abby makin' money off McGee?" Gibbs asked as Kate turned the corner to the elevator making her jump.

"Gibbs!"

"Waitin' for ya. Come on let's grab lunch." 

"Lunch?"

"Lunch, Kate. Meal that ya eat around noon."

"I know what lunch is Gibbs."

"Good. Whaddya want?"

Kate thought about it for a minute, "A cheeseburger. Lots of pickles. And apple juice. Mmm."

"Kate, if you're gonna be one of those pregnant women who needs pickles all the time...."

"What?" 

"I'm not gonna be the one gettin them for ya."

"Like Hell you won't." Kate rolled her eyes.

"You're probably right."

They ate comfortably in silence with the exception of Gibbs looking awfully nervous.

"Gibbs, are you okay?"

He stared at her. "You're acting weird."

"You um are you sure you want to move in?" He asked.

"Yes." She didn't hesitate.

"Okay. So I was thinkin' we could have the team help ya out this weekend."

"What exactly are we telling them? I'm staying with you until I can sell the apartment and get a new one?" 

"Up to you."

"Are you sure you still want me? I mean to move in."

"Yes and yes, Katie." She smiled shyly and her cheeks turned light pink, which made Gibbs smile.

"Okay." She whispered happily.

 

By the end of the day Kate had somehow become a dog owner considering the explosion that had killed the dog's previous owner. Not to mention he was very much guilty of murder. 

"Are you really going to call her Tony?" Abby asked.

Kate laughed. "No. I'm just going to let Tony think that for a while. I think she's more of hmmm I don't know yet." 

"Kate! You can't leave her nameless!" 

"I know! I'm thinking! What would you call her?"

"Uhh I don't know. She's your dog!"

"She's kind of Gibbs's dog too." He was the one who orphaned the dog and she did live with him.

"Gibbs! What's the dog's name?!"

"Beta." Gibbs said as he walked past them.

"Beta?" Abby called out.

"Well Kate's obviously Alpha of the house. Dog's second in command." Gibbs told her. Abby looked at Kate who was blushing hard.

"Beta. Is that your new name?" The dog yipped. "Beta, you need to act like your name's Tony just for a little longer. Okay?" The dog wagged her tail.

"He's coming." Abby hissed Kate.

"Is it just me or do you think Tony likes me?" Kate asked Abby.

"I think it's more than obvious Tony likes you."

"Not my usual type, but kind of cute." Kate stroked the dog.

"More like adorable. Maybe we could share Tony?" Beta barked and then growled. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Good doggie. You can come out now, DiNozzo."

"Hey." Tony greeted them.

"Did you bring the dog food?" Kate demanded.

"Yeah, they didn't have any bowls." 

"That's okay. We got it covered."

"Got a present for you, Little Tony." Abby said presenting a spiked collar.

"Good idea. Now we can tell the two of them apart!" 

"At least I don't hang out with married, Kate."

"Ah will you please tell him that men and women can just be friends?" Kate asked Abby.

"Absolutely they can."

"Without having sex?" Tony asked ridiculously.

"Oh, no. They'll have sex." Abby replied casually.

"Abby!" What was wrong with her coworkers? They turned everything into sex. Sex. She didn't even want to think about sex right now it just seemed so...unappealing so wrong to her.

"What, Kate? You never slept with a friend?" 

"What is wrong with you people?" 

"Good question, Kate. What did you do to the dog?" Gibbs asked as he entered the bullpen.

"Just taking care of her. Unless you want to." Gibbs put his hands up in surrender.

"Here you go, girl." Abby placed the food in front of Beta who dug in.

"Wow! She even eats like you, Tony."

"Did anybody see my ball cap?" Tony asked staring at his desk.

"No." The two women replied in unison.

"I could have sworn I left it right on my desk." Tony mumbled. Gibbs looked over at the dog and grinned when he saw Tony's cap being used as a dog bowl.

"Moving party Saturday. Y'all are gonna help Kate get her stuff to my place." Gibbs announced.

Abby's eyes widened and she squealed. Tony looked horrified and McGee was confused.

"What? Why?" Tony asked.

"I'm selling my place. I can't stay there and I don't have money for a new one until the apartment is sold. So Gibbs is offering to let me stay with him." Tony and McGee nodded understanding. Abby gave Kate a suggestive look and grinned.

 

"Whoaaa! Let me get that!" Gibbs insisted the second he saw Kate lift a box.

She glared. "This doesn't even weigh 10 lbs! It's jewelry." 

"Fine but make DiNozzo carry the rest." Gibbs told her before kissing her cheek.

"Why me?" They heard Tony ask from the other room.

"She's your partner." Gibbs replied.

"But isn't she staying with you until she sells this place and finds a new one?" 

Gibbs didn't respond which Tony assumed meant that he was getting glared at.

Kate was hesitant to tell anyone about their relationship so they'd continued to tell Tony that it was just until she found her own place though Gibbs suspected McGee knew and Tony? Well Tony was a bit of a wild card. Abby knew the real reason though and Ducky had to know even if no one had told him.

"But Gibbs, really I'm fine." Kate insisted.

"Kate, how many times have you been in the hospital in the past three months!?"

She laid on the hospital bed bruised and sore. Strangers touching her getting evidence off of her. She could still feel him. He was still on her. She felt violated all over again as she was poked and prodded and so...weak.

"Shit. Kate. Kate, hey. You're okay. You're safe." Gibbs immediately regretted what he had said. He had no idea she would react like this.

Kate looked straight at him, her brown eyes wide and tears dripping down her cheek. 

He reached out to touch her and then stopped himself, afraid that he might upset her more.

"I'm sorry, Katie. I'm so sorry. Didn't mean to upset you...just...god Kate, if anything happens to you of the baby...."

Kate nodded and fell into his arms, allowing him to comfort her. 

 

"Kate is moving in here, right Gibbs?" Abby asked.

"Yup." 

"Where is she? She was here like I don't know an hour or so ago but not she's nowhere to be found. Is she okay, Gibbs?"

"She's sleeping."

"She okay though?"

"She's getting there, Abs." And she nodded understandingly. 

Flashbacks had been taking a lot out of her. It would be hard for say, Abby to know as her flashbacks most often came in the forms of the nightmares and when that happened she'd cry, he'd hold her, and then they'd both fall asleep. But during the day, the amount of energy it took from her was much more noticeable. When she had finally regained some sort of composure her eyelids had been fighting her so, he'd insisted she lie down. She didn't even put up a fight which in itself showed how tired she was. 

 

"We've got everything, Boss." Tony announced.

"Good work DiNozzo, McGee." 

"What about me?" Abby asked pouting. Gibbs kissed her cheek and she beamed and then grinned smugly at Tony and Tim.

"We know you're the favorite." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Actually, I'm thinking Kate's the favorite." Abby raised her brow suggestively.

"Wait - what? You mean they're sleeping tog-"

Gibbs' hand met the back of Tony's head with a "thwack".

"I'll take that as a no." Tony squeaked.

 

Kate woke up tired and confused. She was supposed to be moving in with Gibbs not sleeping. She no longer heard voices in the house and glanced at the clock - a quarter past four. She went downstairs and it was empty except for the dog laying by the back door so she continued on to the basement.

"How are you feeling?" Gibbs asked her.

"Tired. I don't wanna be tired."

"I know. You'll start feelin' better soon." 

"What if I don't?" Kate rubbed her belly and looked up at him. Sadness, worry both in her eyes.

"You will. Takes time, Katie." He kissed her cheek.


	14. Thanksgiving

"Going out?" Gibbs asked noticing that Kate was dressed up. Something she didn't do after her weekend morning runs. 

"Church." Kate replied.

"What time?"

"9:30. Why?"

"Like 'ta come with you if you don't mind..." 

"You want to come to church with me? Who are you and what have you done with Special Agent Gibbs?" 

"Hey!" He wrapped his arms around her slightly bulging waist and kissed her neck.

"This stays between us. It'll ruin my reputation."

"Of course."

"You gonna raise Jellybean Catholic?" 

"I don't know. Maybe. She'll definitely be going to church every Sunday." Kate rubbed her belly. "I'm leaving in an hour." 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means in an hour I'm leaving with or without you so, get ready." 

"Coulda just told me. No need ta be so passive aggressive." He teased.

"Would you rather I just be plain aggressive?" Kate shot back.

"You did threaten to shoot me on Air Force One."

"First of all it was Alpha Foxtrot 2900. And second, I said I was destined to shoot you. Destined not going to."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Same thing. Gonna go shower." 

 

Kate walked into the church taking small hesitant steps while with one hand she played with her necklace.

"Relax." Gibbs whispered.

"Miss Kate!" A little girl ran up to Kate and hugged her.

"Aimee, you've gotten so big!" Kate said picking up the little girl.

"You haven't come to church is a million days. I miss you." 

"I missed you too, sweetie. Where's your mom?"

"She was talking. It was boring." Kate laughed and managed to spot her friend and the child's mother, Laura.

"Kate! It's so good to see you. I see you've found one of mine." Laura hugged Kate and in the process took Aimee back and set her on the ground.

"It's good to see you too."

"So when are you due?" Laura asked smiling.

"What? How-?" 

"I have kids. You have that pregnant glow."

"April 30th." Kate replied.

"Really? I'm due May 5th!" 

"This is your fifth?" Kate asked.

"Sixth actually. Alex went home to his birth mom. We're in the process of adopting Kiley." 

"Congratulations. Kiley and Andrew are the same age right? They're both three?"

"Yes. Anna's 7, Aimee's 5, Kiley and Andrew are 3, and Kaden is 16 months." 

"Wow. I don't know how you do it. I'm freaking out about this little one." 

"You'll be a great mom, Kate. I've got to get going but we should catch up sometime. Are you still working crazy hours?"

"Of course. I'll call you."

"Alright. Enjoy the service."

 

"Sorry for abandoning you." Kate apologized to Gibbs.

"Rule 6. Friend?"

"Yeah. Her and her husband are foster parents. They've got five kids and Laura's due with her sixth a week after me."

"Six?" 

"Six. They've always got kids running around." 

"You close? The little one likes you."

"Aimee's 5. She's actually the second oldest. She's a sweetie. Loves everyone especially her siblings."

"You're gonna be such a great mom." He told her as he remembered how she happily scooped up Aimee.

Kate nodded but didn't say anything. 

Gibbs wasn't sure what the sermon was entirely about. Kate's head had been resting on his shoulder for half the service and she was really cute. All he knew was the sermon was something about love and opening hearts.

Kate's heart raced. She wanted to go home. She wanted to see the rest of the kids though, but she didn't want to be surrounded by people anymore especially ones who were likely to ask her about her long absence and the baby.

"You okay?" Gibbs whispered and Kate jumped.

"Fine. I'm fine. I want to see the rest of the kids. I'll introduce you to Laura." Kate said quickly.

"Miss Kate! You come back!" Aimee exclaimed running towards her with little Kiley holding her hand.

"Hi Kiley. Do you remember me?" Kate kneeled down.

"You maked cookies." Kiley whispered while clinging onto her sister.

"I did. I came over and made chocolate chip cookies. You've got such a good memory." Kiley beamed.

"Let's go back over to your mom." Kate told them.

"Oh good. There you girls are. We're waiting for daddy and Anna and then we can go home." Laura told her kids. "Thanks for returning them."

"You're welcome. Laura, this is my...my boss, Gibbs. Gibbs, this is Laura." 

"Nice to meet you." Gibbs shook her hand.

"So you're the one that makes her work all the time." Laura grinned. Gibbs smiled.

"He's being a little nicer now thank to Jellybean. She's got him wrapped around her finger already."

"You're thinking girl?"

"Yes. I feel like she's a girl." 

"I don't know. I'm thinking this one might be a boy, but maybe that's wishful thinking since I already have three girls. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls but I'd like another son. Three girls and three boys. No more gender wars between them." Laura laughed.

"Wars? They're angels." Kate teased.

"Wait until yours is born. She'll look like an angel but she'll be up all night." Kate groaned.

 

"You ever want a big family like that?" Gibbs asked as he drove them home.

"I wanted kids not six but two or three. A couple kids. You know I thought I'd have a husband kids by now. I didn't ever think that I'd be thirty, pregnant, unmarried, and working a dangerous job." Kate briefly smiled sadly at him.

As Kate spoke, Gibbs realized he really did want to give Kate everything she dreamed off. He'd known was in love with her but he hadn't felt such a desire to be with her forever, to love and cherish her, father her children, or be her husband. He wanted to be this child's dad. If he was honest with himself, he scared himself a little. After all, women weren't his strong suit. Shannon was his only successful relationship and that had ended too soon. Kate - Kate on the other hand he'd be there for her. Nothing more would happen to her and no one would ever touch the baby he promised himself right then. He looked over at Kate whose hair was flowing down her shoulders, looking stunning and he knew he was 110% absolutely in love with her.

 

"Thanksgiving is this week. What's the plan?" Kate asked.

"Thanksgiving dinner at Ducky's if we don't get called in." 

"Did he tell us what he'd like us to bring?" 

"No. Your brownies are delicious though." 

"According to you?"

"Will DiNozzo's opinion matter?"

"No." Kate laughed. "Okay brownies it is."

"I can help." Gibbs grinned.

"You will not be eating them until we're at Ducky's."

"I said help not eat." Gibbs whined. 

"Your definition of helping is eating or as you say, taste testing." 

"Hafta make sure your cookin' is 100%." He grinned.

"Whatever you say."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate awoke needing to pee. Bad. She was slightly annoyed with this - waking up early because of Jellybean. As Kate washed her hands, she saw a bump. A real visible baby bump. She ran her hand over her newly bulging belly and she couldn't help but grin. Her baby was getting bigger. 

Sweet - chocolate. God that sounded good. She checked the clock 5:30. It was still early but god she wanted chocolate and she did need to make brownies for Thanksgiving at Ducky's later today. So, she got out the pans and started baking.

 

"Thought you were makin' brownies." Gibbs greeted Kate.

"I did." She pointed to the pan of brownies.

"And cupcakes and cookies." 

"And cupcakes and cookies." She confirmed. 

"Ya destroyed the kitchen."

"I'll clean up. And it was Jellybean. She wants chocolate chip cookies." Kate tore off a piece of the biggest cookie on the plate and popped it in her mouth. 

A melted piece of chocolate was on her nose and she looked utterly adorable. 

"What?! You're giving me that look." Kate asked fiercely but still looking very cute.

"What look?" 

"That one! That look that's saying you wanna - I don't know. Just stop!" 

Gibbs gave her a lopsided grin, leaned in, and kissed her nose.

"Mmm." 

"Did you just lick chocolate off my nose?" 

"Kissed your nose." He corrected.

"Semantics." Kate huffed.

"You're cute." 

"Babies are cute. Beta is cute. I am not...but thanks anyways. Better keep up the compliments." 

"Beautiful. Stunning. Feisty. Badass. Gorgeous." He kissed her neck with each word. Kate giggled. Gibbs placed his hand on her belly, looked down and grinned. 

"She's growing. Can- may I?"he gestured to her growing belly. Kate nodded.

Gibbs rubbed her belly and leaned down to kiss it.

"Hi Jellybean. You're getting big. You know, your mommy loves you a lot so take it easy on her. Okay baby?" 

When he looked back up at Kate tears were streaming down her face.

"I-I'm sorry. Ho-hormones. I'm-I'm okay." Kate blubbered. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. 

"I'm okay." She wiped the tears from her eyes smiling. 

"You're okay. So ya need any help bakin'?" 

"One! You can have one cookie. If you have even a crumb more I will shoot you." 

"Aye, Captain." He mock saluted her.

"I mean it Gunny!" 

 

"Caitlin, Jethro, please come in. Abigail is already here. Caitlin, you're showing!" Ducky happily greeted them.

"Where would you like me to put the desserts?" She asked.

"You didn't have to make all this! I hope you didn't get up too early to make this all." 

"It was Jellybean who wanted the cookies." She rubbed her belly.

"Kate! Gibbs! Happy Thanksgiving! Oh my god you're showing!" Abby embraced her friend and then Gibbs. 

"Abs, let her breathe."

"Oh sorry Kate!" Abby let go of Kate and dragged her off into the kitchen.

 

"She looks happy." Ducky observed. 

"She deserves 'ta be happy after everything."

"Yes, she does. You are in love with our Caitlin." 

"Duck-"

"I may be getting old, Jethro but I can see you love that girl. Have you told her?"

"No. She's - I - No." 

"You're worried she's not ready."

"Happy thanksgiving Ducky, Boss." McGee greeted them.

"Timothy, Abigail and Caitlin are inside. What is this?" Ducky asked gesturing to the bottle in his hands.

"Cranberry sauce. It's my grandmother's recipe."

"Why don't you bring this inside. Jethro and I will be right in." 

"You should tell her Jethro." Ducky proceeded to say once they were alone again.

"I will...eventually." 

 

"Wow. Kate, did you make all this?" McGee asked gesturing to the cookies and brownies.

"Yep." 

"McGee! Look at Kate! Tell me what's different about her!" Abby demanded while bubbling with excitement. Kate elbowed her friend jokingly.

"Umm...oh! You're uh showing." 

"This is so exciting, McGee!" Abby squealed.

"What's exciting, Abs?" Gibbs asked.

"Kate and Jellybean!" Abby exclaimed. Gibbs look awfully happy and proud, which caused Abby to give both him and Kate a suggestive look. Kate's cheeks filled with color and Gibbs just grinned. 

"You are! Gibbs! Kate, we need to talk! You're not getting out of this."

"There's nothing to talk about." Kate insisted.

"Nothing? Not one single thing?" Abby persisted.

"There's nothing going on." She insisted.

"Kate's right. Let her be Abs." Gibbs said. 

"Aww alright. I will get something out of you Caitlin Todd."

"You can try." Kate teased.

 

"Abby, is Tony coming?" Kate asked. She was hungry - really hungry and they were waiting on Tony.

"He didn't pick up. He said he was coming though." Abby answered.

"I'm going to kill him." 

"Wait until he's finished the pile of case reports on his desk, Katie." Gibbs whispered and Kate grinned.

"Our Anthony should know better than to keep a pregnant woman waiting especially a former secret service agent." Ducky said amused.

"You would think." Kate retorted.

The door creaked open and Tony walked in.

"DiNozzo, nice of you to join us." Gibbs said.

"Sorry Boss. I had a late night. Beautiful woman, Lucy that was her name and I-"

"Shut up and sit down. I'm hungry." Kate glared at him.

"Kate's pissed." Abby informed him.

"What? Why- I'm only a little late!"

"Tony, please just sit down before she kills you." McGee pleaded.

"McGeek, Kate wouldn't kill me."

"Try me." Kate hissed.

"Sitting down right now." 

"We're all here now! Happy Thanksgiving!" Abby exclaimed.

"Before we begin to eat I'd like to say how wonderful it is to have you all here. It is an honor to know all of you. I know that this past year - it hasn't been an easy one, but you are all here. And this time next year we will have another member of our family here so I'd like to toast to family." Ducky raised his glass.

"To family." Gibbs repeated and the rest of them repeated after. 

 

"Has your morning sickness been improving?" Ducky asked as Kate piled up food onto her plate.

"Yes! I can eat again. It's great." 

"And she's not wakin' me up anymore." Gibbs teased and the team's jaws dropped. Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was happily teasing Kate. Abby grinned at them.

"Shut up." Kate told him.

"Have you started picking out baby names yet?" Abby inquired.

"Not yet. I do have a couple that I like." 

"Tony is a good name." Tony chimed in.

"My child will not be named after you Tony. She deserves her own unique name."

"She? You still think it's a girl?" Palmer asked.

"Yes. I know she's a girl. I just have that feeling. Second week of January we'll know for sure." Kate beamed.

"And then we can go baby shopping!" Abby added.

"You're going to spoil my child, aren't you?" 

"Of course! Tim and Tony are going to spoil her too." 

"Don't worry Kate, I'll make sure the baby has all the classics since you lack in that area." Tony teased her.

"Tony, I swear if you ever let my baby watch a movie with sex in it, I will castrate you." 

"What kind of guy do you think I am? Provide, tell her she's wrong!" 

"Um well she does have a point." McGee stuttered, "Don't sorry about Jellybean ever seeing anything...Tony rated I'll make sure you've got the best parental controls." 

"Thank you Tim." 

"Show off." Tony whispered loudly across the table.

"Caitlin, your child will be very well cared for. She will have a very large family. And I don't doubt that Gibbs will also spoil the little one." Ducky grinned.

"Gibbs spoiling a kid? I mean yeah Gibbs is good with the kids but spoiling them requires being soft and-" Tony got cut off.

"You don't think I can take care of a child, DiNozzo?" 

"No, Sir - I mean yes you can. Just think about it Kate's kids is gonna be really stubborn like her and feisty."

"And I can't be stubborn as well?" 

"Shutting up now."

"Ducky, would it be okay for me to bring some of the desserts out now?" Kate asked.

"Of course. Mr. Palmer, why don't you and Abby clear off some of the dishes so we can have room for the desserts." 

As Kate walked into the kitchen, she realized her baby bump was really visible.

"This is so exciting! You're showing!" Abby said as she passed by.

"Yea it is." Kate rubbed her belly.

"Gibbs must be thrilled." 

"He is - I think. He's -" Abby was grinning ear to ear and Kate realized she'd been tricked into spilling some details of their relationship. "He's really sweet and he's going to be so good with Jellybean. This morning he - he's amazing, Abs."

"We'll talk later. I want all the details. And Kate? I'm really happy for you." 

"Thanks." Both women picked up a tray of Kate's homemade desserts and brought it into the dining room.

Kate felt Tony's eyes on her and she suddenly felt very self-conscious and...vulnerable.

"What?" She demanded.

"Nothing you're really...pregnant. It's real." Tony answered awkwardly.

"Well yeah I'm really pregnant and I have been for three and a half months. I'll be 14 weeks in a couple days so, yeah I'm really pregnant. What, did you think I was joking? Faking the god awful morning sickness?"

"Kate, I think he means-" Gibbs tried to say but she cut him off.

"Tell me DiNozzo." 

"I just meant that it's uh just visible now. That's it. I didn't mean anything by it just that we can see you're pregnant now." Tony quickly defended himself.

Kate instantly felt bad for snapping at him and at Gibbs. She put the tray down and sat back down without saying another word.  
Gibbs put his hand on her thigh, which at first startled her and then he took her hand and squeezed it. He was telling her it was okay. She looked at him with uncertainty and he simply nodded confirming everything was all right.


	15. Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter

"You have any plans today?" Gibbs asked peaking his head inside Kate's room.

"No?"

"Good."

"Why?"

"Now who's speaking in monosyllables." He teased. "Well I was um wondering if you might have dinner with me. Go out for dinner."

Kate smiled, "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Do you want me to?" Kate's cheeks turned light pink. "Kate, will you go on a date with me?"

"Yes, I'd love to go on a date with you." Kate's smile stretched from ear to ear.

He'd asked on a date! Her, Kate Todd.

"What should I wear?"

"Somethin cute. Preferably somethin that lets Jellybean show off a little."

"Is it me you want to go on a date with or my daughter?" She teased.

"Well I'm head over heels for her mommy and I think she's pretty cute too."

Kate blushed again and giggled.

"Okay."

"Be ready at six."

"Is that when you're picking me up?"

"Well you live here too so, I guess we're doing things backwards. Seeing as you're pregnant and all." He grinned.

"Shut up." Kate laughed and threw a pillow at him.

"Ya know you're cute when you pretend to get mad. Your eyes sparkle and you've got this mischievous look in your eye...and now you're blushing and it's cute."

"I still could change my mind about that date, Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Kate said firmly but still smiling.

"Yes ma'm." He mock saluted her.

"Don't call me ma'm and stop being cute." She scolded.

"Marines are not cute, Todd."

"Whatever you say. Now, I'm trying to read." She dismissed him with a hand gesture. She heard him chuckle as he exited the room.

Kate was still grinning ear to ear. He'd officially asked her on a date. She hadn't been on a date in months. And she'd never had these types of feelings for anyone else she'd dated. She was in love and that terrified her.

Kate picked up her phone and called Abby.

"Hey Kate! What's up?" Abby answered.

"Gibbs asked me out."

"Aren't you dating?"

"Well he's never officially asked me on a date. A real date, Abs! Tonight! I'm pregnant! What am I supposed to wear?" Kate panicked.

"This is so exciting! What time's he picking you up at?"

"6."

"Okay! I'll be over in a half hour."

  
Sure enough Abby arrived half an hour later. She knocked and walked right into the house.

"Gibbs! This is so exciting! Where are you guys going?"

"Abs, calm. Kate's upstairs."

"Actually I'm over here and would also like to know how I should dress? Casual? Business casual?"

"Business casual." He replied

"Kate, we've got work to do. Come on. See ya Gibbs!"

  
"You're a life-saver."

"I know." Abby grinned. "What's Jellybean letting you fit into?"

"Not my pants. Oh and Gibbs he um wanted me to wear something that, well, you can tell that I'm pregnant."

Abby's eyes widened and she whistled.

"What?" Kate demanded.

"He wants to show you and the baby off. Kate, he's claiming you and the baby as his!"

"I- no. Gibbs and? No, no, Abby. He can't, can he?"

Abby put her hands on Kate's shoulders. "He's completely in love with you. He fell for you on Air Force One. He said "please". Gibbs does not say "please" for just anybody."

"What?"

"Kate, tell me you didn't fall for him at the same time."

"I - I thought he was...very attractive."

"And you wanted to get in bed with him?" Abby suggested.

"Abby!" Abby just grinned at her. "Okay maybe I thought that once...or twice. But we are not sleeping together. Not now."

"Not yet."

"I thought you were helping me pick an outfit not analyzing my relationship."

"You're underestimating my ability to multitask. Now show me what skirts you have." Kate rolled her eyes but obediently began collecting skirts.

Abby looked at the skirts then began rummaging through the closet for tops.

"Kate! Why didn't you just say you had this dress?" Abby asked as she pulled out a red maternity dress that still had the tag on it.

"I -"

"Try it on!"

Kate put the dress on and her jaw dropped. She looked stunning - she was pregnant and going on a date.

"Let me see!"

Kate stepped out of the bathroom and gave her friend a shy smile.

"I think you found it."

"You look stunning! Gibbs's jaw is going to drop. Okay! Make-up!"

  
"Kate, you ready?"

"One second...okay. I'm coming." Kate yelled back to Gibbs.

Kate walked down the stairs in a stunning red dress with the baby bump visible. Her hair was wavy and flowed down her shoulders like she was some Greek goddess.

"Gibbs? Gibbs, say something."

"You - god you're gorgeous. Wow." Gibbs stuttered.

"That's what they all tell me." Kate smirked as she approached him. Gibbs placed his hand on her cheek just admiring her beauty and leaned down and tenderly kissed her.

"You ready to go?"

"If you're done kissing me then, yes."

"One more." His lips pressed against hers once more and he savored the taste of her lips. He didn't want to stop. He could kiss her all day long.

"Now I'm done." Kate blushed and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"You're cute when you blush." He teased. He gave her a peck on the cheek as she blushed once again.

"Stop teasing me." Kate whined under her breathe and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Was a compliment. You're beautiful, Katie."

  
"They already gave Christmas lights up!" She exclaimed as they pulled into a parking spot.

"Favorite holiday?"

"Very much so."

Gibbs got out of the car and opened her door.

"My lady..." Kate giggled and shook her head but let him take her arm in his.

They were seated in the corner, away from most of the other people there.

"This is nice. Thank you."

Gibbs smiled. "You feelin alright today?"

"Jellybean's been behaving. Um I have my 16 week ultrasound on the 8th so, if you wanted to come it's at 9:30."

"Course I wanna come."

"Okay."

"Have I mentioned you look beautiful?"

Kate's cheeks turned a light rosey color. "Who would of knew. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is quite the gentleman."

"Hey now, don't go ruining my reputation."

"My lips are sealed."

"Back to the topic of Christmas, um you're still invited. My mom really likes you. I mean it's okay if you don't want to come. Todd family Christmases can be very...loud and crazy. And meeting the family? That- if you don-"

"Christmas at the Todd's. Sounds fun. Get to meet those brothers of yours. Bet they've got stories of little Katie." Gibbs grinned.

"Oh no. Don't you dare. You realize they're going to interrogate you since you're- we're dating."

"I'm a Marine. Think I can handle your brothers."

"We'll see, Gunny. We'll see."

 

"Thank you for dinner." She said as they walked back to the car. He had an arm around her shoulders.

"Anytime, Katie." He opened the door for her. "My lady." Kate giggled and he grinned.

Kate laughing was the most beautiful sound he'd heard in a long time. She didn't laugh often better yet giggle. Not since that night.

"Am I allowed to kiss you on your doorstep?" He teased her as they got home.

"Yes." Her cheeks were rosey and not just from the cold.

He leaned in to kiss her placing one hand on her cheek and the other on her belly. He started off gently but Kate was the one who wanted a more passionate kiss and he gave it to her. A quiet, pleased moan came from the back of her throats and he kissed her thoroughly until neither of them could breathe.

"So beautiful." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

Kate smiled shyly. She could see the love in his eyes, the tender, warm caring side of Gibbs that she knew she was reserved for very few people. Mainly children and now her. It scared her. The way he looked at her with such love all while she was still trying to put back together the pieces.

 

 


	16. Fears

  
"How are you doing this week, Kate?" The therapist asked her as she sat down.

"I'm alright. I've got an ultrasound tomorrow."

"Excited to see the baby?"

"Yes! I want to see how big she's gotten since, I'm getting big now."

"And Gibbs?"

"He's coming to the appointment tomorrow. Gibbs is very involved."

"How do you feel about that? Gibbs being involved?"

"It's...nice. Sweet. And terrifying." Kate admitted.

"What scares you?"

"I'm in love with him. Jellybean she's not his responsibility, she's mine. He could change his mind. How - how could he love me back? I'm broken. My baby's biologically related to a terrorist!"

"Are you saying you're afraid of him leaving?"

Tears welled in Kate's eyes and she nodded. "I can't lose him. He's the only one who...can understand me. But what if when the baby's born he decides to back out?"

"You're afraid that he's not serious?"

"I guess so. I know that he's a good man and he wouldn't leave but I there are so many what-ifs running through my head. And I'm a mess, I wouldn't be able to raise a baby on my own...." Kate wiped the tears from her face.

"Have you talked about this with Gibbs?"

Kate paused. "No. I can't. He's already done more than enough for me and I -I don't want him worrying about me and my...mental stability."

"Kate, you and him are in a relationship. You're pregnant. It's important for you to discuss these things. It's especially important that he understands what you're feeling and experiencing. And Kate, from what you've told me, he cares deeply about you and your baby. Talk to him, bring him to our next session and we can all talk together, but you need to talk with him."

"Okay." She nodded.

  
Gibbs greeted Kate with a kiss when she got home. "I made ya dinner."

"You made me dinner?"

"Nope. Made Jellybean dinner."

"So it is for me. You're sweet." Kate smiled up at him.

"Told ya before. 'M not cute or sweet." He growled which made Kate laugh that melodious laugh he loved to hear.

"So what's for dinner?"

"Grilled cheese...you were wantin' some earlier." He chuckled to himself, remembering Kate's mumbling about how she was hungry and was craving a grilled cheese sandwich.

"It's not funny. Jellybean's picky. Where's the food?"

"Sit. I'll get the food."

  
"Ultrasound is tomorrow." Kate mentioned.

"I'll be there."

"Gibbs, you don't have to come if you don't want to. I can go on my own."

"No. Absolutely not. I'm coming with you. Kate, I told you I'd be here for you and I sure as hell am not going back on that. I am going to be here for you and for the baby. We're gonna do this together." Silent tears streamed down Kate's cheeks and he instantly went to her side and embraced her. "It's okay. I've got ya, Kate."

"'M sorry. It's - 's the hormones." She cried into his shoulder.

"It's okay, Katie. It's okay." He wiped the tears from her face and kissed her cheek. "Long day, huh." Kate nodded in between sniffles.

"Finish dinner, shower 'n go to bed. Need ya to be awake to see Jellybean bright an' early tomorrow."

"I'm sorry." Kate cried not entirely sure what she was apologizing for anymore. Gibbs just held her tighter until she had no more tears to cry.

Kate flopped into bed so exhausted that she didn't even bother brushing her hair just threw it up in a ponytail. She cradled the baby bump and fell asleep in seconds.

When Kate woke up she noticed that there was a different, thicker blanket on her. She sat up and saw the other blanket on the floor. She stretched her legs and got out of bed. It was ultrasound appointment day!

"Mornin." Gibbs kissed her cheek.

"We get to see her today!" Kate grinned.

"Yup. Sleep alright?"

"Mhmm. Did you put another blanket on me?"

"You had a nightmare. Were pretty upset and I'd tried to untangle that blanket to put back on you, but you...ya wouldn't let me. So I got a new one. You don't remember? You woke up briefly."

"I- I don't remember anything. I was so tired and god I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Katie. Ya had a rough day. Today you've got an ultrasound. Get to see Jellybean again."

"Jellybean's the size of an avocado now and she's got arms and legs and her eyelids are formed now. Oh and she can hear us! She's not much of a Jellybean anymore. Are you, baby?" Kate rubbed her belly.

"Jellybean's gonna need a name. You going to find out the sex next month?" Gibbs asked.

"Probably. I'd love for it to be a surprise, but I couldn't handle not knowing. Plus, knowing whether the nursery should be pink or blue is a big help too. And a name. Wouldn't want to be calling you the wrong gendered name, Jellybean. Would we?"

"Okay! You ready to go, Gibbs!?" Kate grinned.

"We're going to be waitin' for a while."

"So? Come on. Let's go see the baby."

  
"Kate Todd." The nurse called and Kate nearly jumped up. Gibbs was right behind her and grabbed her hand and grinned at her.

"We'll be in room 3. First I'm gonna have you step up on the scale and then we'll get a urine sample. Alright?"

"Sounds fine." Kate replied and stepped onto the scale.

"120 pounds. Right on track." The nurse told her smiling.

"Good." Kate sighed relief. She knew that at the last appointment Dr. Kegan was a tad concerned she hadn't gained any weight.

"Now I'll need a urine sample from you and then the doctor should be in with you."

Kate groaned, "Am I going to have to pee in a cup every time?"

The nurse chuckled. "Yes." Gibbs grinned, amused and Kate glared at him.

"Behave while I go pee in the stupid cup."

"Aye, Captain." He mock saluted her and she rolled her eyes.

  
"Good morning, Kate, Gibbs. Ready to see that little one?" Dr. Kegan greeted them.

"Absolutely!"

"Okay. Pull up your shirt about halfway and we'll get a look." Kate did as the doctor asked, "This might be a little cold." The Doctor said before putting the gel on her belly.

Kate tapped her fingers impatiently against the exam table as she waited for the doctor to find the baby on the ultrasound.

"There we go! One 16-week old baby!"

"She's gotten so big. Oh she's so beautiful." Kate stared at her baby.

"Still very active. That's good. Have you felt any movement yet?"

"No - I don't think so. Should I?" Worry was evident in Kate's voice.

"Most expecting moms begin to feel movement between 16 and 20 weeks. It's likely you've felt her moving, but haven't realized it. That's common among new moms. And we can see that your baby is very active."

"Okay." She felt relieved.

"Baby's measuring good for 16 weeks. There's an arm and a leg..." The Doctor proceeded to point out each part of the baby as she was checking.

"Everything looks good, Kate. Baby's healthy. I want to check the baby's heart rate now."

Kate grinned at Gibbs. "We get to hear her heart!"

The room was soon filled with the little thumps of Jellybean's heart.

Gibbs looked at Kate smiling, "That's our baby."

Our baby. He said our baby. Kate began crying and clutched onto his hand.

"Our baby. Look at her Gibbs, we're gonna have a beautiful little baby." Kate cried happily and Gibbs realized why she was crying. He'd told her that Jellybean was their baby.

"Yeah, Katie. Our baby." He kissed her cheek lovingly and wiped the tears from her face.

  
"Good morning!" Kate chirped as she entered the office.

Tony stared at her trying to figure out why she was so chipper. "You're late. Why so happy?"

Kate smiled and shoved one of the ultrasound pictures at him. "That's why."

"Is that an ultrasound picture?" McGee asked.

"Yep." McGee came over and tried to get a look at it while Tony was still holding it.

"Less alien-like, Kate. Congrats you're having a human baby." Tony teased which earned him a head slap from Kate.

"She's bigger - obviously. Have you uh have you started thinking of names for the baby yet?" McGee asked.

"I've got some names in mind. We'll see. Next appointment we get to find out the gender."

"We? You have a boyfriend?" Tony asked and Kate ignored him. Kate went to frame the ultrasound picture for her desk.

"Leave Kate alone and be happy for her." Gibbs ordered Tony.

"Of course, Boss."

"Wait! Is it Gibbs who's included in "we"? Are you two dating? You do live together and you come to work together. Kate, are you and Gibbs together?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Do you value your balls, DiNozzo? If you do I'd recommend you quit talking." Kate told him sternly but still smiling.

"Shutting up." He replied.

  
Kate walked into the lab which was being blasted with music. "Abby! Abby! ABBY!" Kate yelled but her best friend didn't notice so, she went over to the stereo and turned the volume down.

"HEY-" Abby began to protest, "How was your appointment?! Do you have a picture for me?"

"Jellybean's happy and healthy. She's not quite a jellybean anymore. She's got these little arms and legs and she's so cute!" Kate boasted as she held out a copy of the scan for Abby to see.

"Baby Kate's getting bigger! Are you going to find out the sex at your next appointment? Have you and Gibbs started talking names yet? You're almost half way there. This is so exciting!"

"Yes and no."

"You haven't talked names yet? At all?"

"No. Not yet. I wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to you know be so involved."

"Kate, of course he does! I keep telling you he's in love with you."

"I know."

"Kate, he is absolutely in love with you don't try and tell me he's - wait what did you say?"

"I said I know. I know he's in love with me."

"Finally!! So baby and then a wedding?"

"Abby!"

"What, Kate? Love equals a wedding and a baby. You've got two thirds of the equation. I'm telling you next step is a wedding."

"Who's getting married?" Gibbs asked as he appeared in the lab.

"Well you and Kate are - one of these days." Abby replied enthusiastically.

"Abs, let's wait until the baby gets here. One thing at a time."

"That reminds me - BABY SHOWER!"

"No. No baby shower Abby." Kate insisted. Baby showers were for happy expecting young couples not a couple like her and Gibbs she told herself. Baby showers weren't for women like her - pregnant from violence instead of love.

"We are having a baby shower for you!" Abby insisted right back.

"No. No baby shower." Kate told her firmly before walking out of the lab.

Abby looked at Gibbs confused. "What just happened?"

"No clue." Gibbs admitted wondering what had just happened.

"Did I say something? The baby's okay right?" Abby asked suddenly worried that Kate was hiding some fatal condition the baby had.

"Baby's fine. Perfectly healthy. Again Abs, not sure what just happened."

"Go find out, please Gibbs. Talk to her."

  
He found her up in the conference room with her knees to her chest or almost to her chest silently crying.

"Hey." He said softly.

Kate quickly wiped her eyes. "Hi."

"You wanna talk?" Kate shook her head. "'S okay. We don't hafta talk. Can I sit with you?" She nodded and he sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her with one hand resting on her growing belly. He felt her rest her head against his chest and then she looked up at him.

"Sorry I'm such a mess."

"No apologizing. We're in this together, Katie."

"It's just I- I'm afraid. That you'll leave me that I'm just too broken and I'm pregnant, Gibbs. And I know that other people don't see this pregnancy as her being my baby they think she's his baby. She's mine and well yours but you know that's not how people will see it and I'm scared that that you'll leave if she looks to little like me or. Gibbs, I can't lose you. I can't. I need you, we need you and-and it's terrifying." She confessed with her head still resting on him. He rubbed her belly before speaking.

"Not gonna leave you. I promise ya Kate, I'm not leaving you and Jellybean. She's as much mine as yours I mean that is if you'll let me. I love her just like you do and nothing's gonna take me away from you two. Okay?" He moved so Kate was forced to look at him.

"Okay." She replied meekly and let herself sink into his embrace again.

 

 


	17. I love you

  
Gibbs climbed up the basement stairs after working on the crib for a good amount of time. He found Kate on the couch with a book, a piece of paper, and a bowl of ice cream on her lap.

"Haley. What do you think?" Kate asked him without looking up.

"Of what?"

"Haley you know a name for the baby."

"It's nice."

Kate sighed, "'Nice'? Do you like it or not?"

"Ehh not the best name I've heard , but definitely not the worst."

"Emily wait that's your ex and Fornell's kid's name." He glared at her. "Okay that's a no. Julia? Julianna?"

"Julianna could nickname her Julia."

"Alright. How about you? Any suggestions?"

"Didn't know ya wanted my suggestions."

"Do you even have any?"

"No. Gimme the book." Kate handed him the baby name book.

"Okay...um...no. Anna...Melanie?"

"Both could be possibilities or a middle name."

Gibbs flipped some more pages, "Who names their kid Apple?"

"Probably the same people who name their son Leroy Jethro." Kate teased.

"Hey! I was named after a great man who served with my dad. It's completely different."

"So, your parents never considered naming a child Apple?"

"God no."

"Okay. Natalie? That's a pretty name."

"Eh."

"Eh? What's wrong with Natalie?"

"Eh. Not a fan."

"Okay. No - Natalie." Kate said to herself.

"Hey just cause I don't like it doesn't mean you can't use the name."

"I know but I value your input. You're already a part of her life. You get a say in her name. You're - you'll - Jellybean doesn't have a dad and he will never lay eyes on her. She's gonna need a daddy and Gibbs, be a part of her life?"

"Of course, Katie." He scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her. He kissed her tenderly and wiped a couple tears off her cheek. Her brown eyes were soft and full of gratitude and she kissed him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her much firmer. A soft little moan came from her throat.

When they pulled apart for air, he brushed his thumb against her cheek - admiring her, his Katie.

"Beautiful." He murmured. Kate's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she smiled shyly. He pulled her closer so that he was holding her.

"Back to names. Jellybean needs a name as soon as we find out if I'm right."

"Yes ma'm." He mock saluted her and she laughed.

"Sophia? Sophia's a pretty name."

"Put it in the yes column."

"Sarah? Sarah Todd? No. Doesn't sound right." Kate mumbled to herself.

"Kate."

"What?"

"Could name her Kate. Well maybe middle name could be Kate."

"Gibbs! You can't think of a middle name first!"

"Why not?"

"Because the middle name has to fit with the first name."

"She has a last name first though?"

Kate groaned. "And her first name has to fit with the last name! Just think of first names for now."

"Aye." Kate glared at him and he figured he best shut up.

"Allison? Ally?" Kate said to herself.

"Ally. That's cute. Little Ally cat."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes column."

"See, now we're making progress. We should pick out boy names just in case."

"No weird names, Kate."

"You think I'd name my child Jethro? Or Leroy?" Kate teased.

"Oh. Are you making fun of my name Secret Service?"

"Of course not Agent Gibbs. Leroy and Jethro are very normal names." She laughed.

"Laughing at me? Think you're gonna get away with that?" He asked grabbing her waist and pulling her in for a kiss so passionate that her arms wrapped around his neck and she moaned softly. Kate pulled away reluctantly. Her cheeks a beautiful shade of pink.

"We- we can't. It'll start as a really great kiss like that and then the next thing we'll be...sleeping together."

"I know, Katie. I know. Not gonna go further than that."

"I know you know, but what if we get carried away? It's not that I don't trust you it's just - I can't, I'm not going to risk putting myself in a compromising situation."

He put his hand on her shoulder, "I get it. And you're pregnant. Your hormones are all over the place and making you want things that you don't want to want."

"Exactly." Kate was surprised he understood. She wanted sex, intimacy, anything beyond kissing but just the thought of someone even Gibbs touching her so intimately terrified her. Thinking of intimacy brought back the memories and the feeling of being violated.

"I care about ya so much and I'm not - we're not gonna do anything you don't want." He squeezed her shoulder. "Back to baby names?"

"No." Kate yawned. "I'm tired. Gonna go to bed now."

_"Hello again Caitlin." Ari grinned._

_Kate's heart rate sped up and she tried to place her hand on her growing belly but her hands were bound behind her. "What do you want?"_

_"You are pregnant. Is it mine?"_

_"No." Kate hissed._

_"Just like Gibbs you are lying to me. I know the child is mine." He told her grinning evilly._

_"What did you do to Gibbs? Where is he? GIBBS!"_

_He raised his voice and said something in a foreign language and a man brought Gibbs in with his hands bound and a bloody gash on his head._

_"Jethro!" She gasped._

_"Kate." He breathed a sigh of relief. "You're gonna be okay. Baby's gonna be okay."_

_"You look lovely, Caitlin. Don't you agree Agent Gibbs?"_

_"Don't. Touch. Her." Gibbs growled. Ari laughed and put his hand on her belly. She tensed and tried to back away._

_"Please don't." Kate begged._

_"Even more beautiful than last time." His hand moved down to her thigh and he looked at Gibbs._

_"Stop. Please. Just leave us alone." Kate begged._

_"I will kill you slowly. You'll be begging Kate to tell me to let you out of your misery." Gibbs growled. Ari's hand disappeared beneath her pants._

_"Let go of her!"_

_"Are you jealous Agent Gibbs? That you will never touch her as I have."_

_"Stop. Just stop. Just stop and I'll never say a word about this." Kate begged._

_"I can't leave you and our child. You already tried to deny me my child once. And Gibbs helped you. Claiming to be the father instead of me." Ari raised his gun and a shot range out. Kate screamed as Gibbs collapsed._

_"GIBBS! NO, GIBBS!" Kate felt the restraints fall and she launched herself across the room towards him. She kneeled down in a growing pool of crimson and placed her hands on the wound in his chest._

_"You're gonna be okay. Okay? You're gonna be fine."_

_"Ka- Katie. I love you a...and Jellybean."_

_"I love you too but you're not dying."_

_Gibbs coughed up blood. "Love you...always." His eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp._

_"NO! GIBBS!" Kate screamed._

  
Kate's eyes flashed open and she looked around to see that she was in her bed at Gibbs's house. She was sweaty and there were tears drying on her cheeks. She took some deep breathes and put her hand on her belly. She was okay. Jellybean was okay. Gibbs was okay.

Gibbs is fine. It was just a nightmare. He's fine. Ari's not here. You're okay.

She needed to see him just to confirm he was okay. Kate got out of bed and walked down the hall. Gibbs's door was opened just a crack. She carefully pulled the door just a bit more open and peeked in. She exhaled when she saw him laying on then bed and heard him breathing.

"Ya can come in Kate." Kate nearly jumped. She hadn't realized he was awake. He sat up and his face filled with worry.

"Nightmare?" She nodded and he gestured for her to sit on the bed.

"You wanna talk about it?" He smoothed her hair out of her face. Kate didn't respond just looked at him and put her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Go back to sleep. We can talk, if you want in the morning." He assured her.

Kate laid down in his bed and he pulled the blanket up over her. He laid down too and let one arm drape over the growing baby bump and his other hand rested on her shoulder. Kate seemed to relax in his embrace.

Her eyes drooped and soon she was half-asleep.

"I love you Kate." She heard him whisper just before she drifted off.

Gibbs woke up before Kate. She was sleeping peacefully with her head nuzzled against his chest and one hand clutching on to his t-shirt. A few wisps of her hair laid on her face. He gently tucked her them behind her ear. She was absolutely gorgeous. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.   
He wanted to kiss her and love her and show her just how much he loved her. One day, he hoped he would be able to do just that. But for now he'd settle for telling her and kissing and holding her.

Kate woke up with a warm body holding her. She sighed sleepily and snuggled back up against Gibbs.

"Mornin' Katie." He whispered.

Kate reluctantly turned over from the warmth of his embrace to face him.

"Hi." She whispered looking up into his mesmerizing blue eyes and her heart fluttered. She remembered him telling her that he loved her as she was falling asleep.

"How are you feeling? You alright?"

"Was just a nightmare. Just...just a nightmare." Kate began to weep.

"Hey. Ssh. It's okay. It's over now."

"It was him. He came back a-and he wanted m-my baby. 'N then then he started feeling...touching me. A-and he shot you, Gibbs. Because you claimed to be her dad and not him. And you died, Gibbs, in my arms." Kate sobbed. "It was so real. I thought you were dead. You can't die on me-us."

He exhaled. "Oh, Kate. I'm not going anywhere."

"Because...because you love me?" Kate asked for confirmation of what he said last night.

"You were awake?"

"Barely."

"Yes, Kate because I love you. I love you. I love you and our baby. She's not his - she's yours and mine. We're her parents, Kate and I will protect the both of you at all costs. He will never hurt you again and he will never ever touch Jellybean." His voice was comforting and firm. The kind of tone that he used that made her feel safe and protected and loved.

Tears of joy replaced her sad tears. "I- I love you too, Jethro. A-and I'm afraid."

"Me too."

"What?"

"It has been a long time since I've felt this way about someone. Been a long time since I've loved someone the way I love you. Shannon and Kelly - after they died I never thought I could love again. And then you came into my life, Katie. I don't have a good track record with women, you know that. I don't want to lose you or mess this up. And that terrifies me."

"Thank you for telling me. I love you, Jethro. And we're not going anywhere." She placed his hand on her belly and then she gasped as she felt something flutter inside of her.

"Kate, are you okay?"

"She's moving! I felt her move." She felt the fluttering sensation again.

Gibbs rubbed her belly, "Hi there, baby. We love you."

 


End file.
